10 psychological tricks to influence people

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Sherman Hoover
10 psychological tricks to influence people

Before we begin, it is important to note that none of these methods are intended to influence other people with dark intentions. Anything that could be detrimental to someone in any way, especially their self-esteem, is not included here. These are ways to win friends and influence people who use psychology in a positive way and without making someone feel bad..

Contents

  • 1. Benjamin Franklin effect
  • 2. Asking too much
  • 3. The proper name
  • 4. Flattery
  • 5. Mirroring or the mirror technique
  • 6. The use of tiredness
  • 7. Offers that cannot be rejected
  • 8. Know how to correct
  • 9. Repeat things
  • 10. Nod

1. Benjamin Franklin effect

Getting someone to do us a favor can be tricky, and this is also known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. Legend has it that when Franklin was in the Pennsylvania Legislature there was an opponent who had spoken against him on occasion (Franklin does not say his name), someone very influential. Franklin was very unsettled by this opposition and animosity and decided to win over this gentleman. What he came up with is very curious and intelligent. Instead of doing this gentleman some favor or service, he induced the opponent to do him a favor, asking him to borrow a very rare book from his library. The gentleman in question loaned it to him immediately, and Franklin returned it to the one-week-old with a note thanking him greatly for the favor. When they met again in Parliament the gentleman spoke to him (which he had never done before) and above all with great politeness. From then on, this man was always ready to help Franklin and they became great friends, a friendship that continued until his death. This fact demonstrates the truth of a maxim that Franklin had learned as a child that says: "Someone who has already done you a previous one is more likely to do you another favor than one who owes you.".

There is another very illustrative example of this phenomenon in Dostoiewsky's The Brothers Karamazov. Fyodor Pavlovitch remembers being asked once in the past why he hated a person so much. And he replied: “I will tell you. It has done me no harm. I was very dirty with him once and since then I have hated him. Just as in these examples we obtain a vicious circle, the Benjamin Franklin effect shows that it is also possible to generate virtuous circles.

The scientists decided to test this theory and found that those to whom the researcher requested a personal favor, made much more favorable evaluations about it than the other groups. It may seem counterintuitive, since common sense tells us that we do favors for people we like and we screw up those we don't like. But the reality seems to be that we tend to like people with whom we are nice and to dislike people with whom we are rude or misbehave ourselves..

2. Asking too much

The trick is to ask for much more than we want or need at first, to lower our request later. You start by launching a really exaggerated request to someone, a request will most likely be rejected. Then he comes back shortly after and wonders for something much less exorbitant, which is actually what we really wanted in the first place. This trick may also sound counter-intuitive, but the idea behind it is that the person feels bad about denying our first request, even though it was unreasonable, so when something reasonable is asked, they will feel more compelled to help this time.

3. The proper name

Using a person's proper name or title, depending on the situation, is another tool to gain confidence. Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Win Friends and Influence People," explains that using someone's name is incredibly important and effective in building a friendship. It is said that a person's name is the sweetest sound in any language for that person. The name is the fundamental part of our identity, so that listening to it validates our existence and inclines us to have more positive feelings about the person who validates us. Using a title or nickname can also have very strong effects. This can be as simple as calling an acquaintance and calling them "friend" or "partner" every time we see them, or referring to a person we want to work with or continue working as "boss", although this may seem somewhat corny, in practice it works.

4. Flattery

Flattery opens many doors. This may seem obvious at first, but there are some important caveats to keep in mind. To begin with, it is important to know that if flattery is not seen as sincere, it will do more harm than good. Researchers have studied the motivations and reactions behind flattery and have found some very important things. People seem to tend to seek cognitive balance, always trying to keep their thoughts and feelings organized in a similar way. So if we flatter someone who has high self-esteem and finds him sincere, he will like it a lot, because he is validating his own feelings. However, if we flatter someone who has low self-esteem, there is a possibility that it could be counterproductive, because it interferes with the way it is perceived. That, of course, does not mean that we should degrade a person of low self-esteem..

5. Mirroring or the mirror technique

Mirroring, also known as mimicry or mirroring technique, is something that some people do naturally. People with this ability are considered "chameleons"; they try to blend in with their surroundings by copying other people's behaviors, gestures, and even speech patterns. However, this skill can also be used consciously and is a great technique to appear friendlier. The researchers studied mimicry and found that those who had been imitated were much more likely to act favorably towards the person who had copied them. Even more interesting was their second finding, that those with someone who mimicked their behavior seemed more interesting and more likable in front of others. Probably the reason this is so is that the reflection of someone's behavior makes you feel validated. This validation is positively associated with feeling greater self-esteem and security, more happiness and feeling a better disposition towards others.

6. The use of tiredness

When someone is tired, they are more susceptible to everything that someone may say to them, whether it is a statement or a request. The reason for this is that when people are tired their mental energy levels drop dramatically. When we make a request from someone who is tired, they will probably not have a definitive answer, we will probably get an answer of "I will do it tomorrow", because they do not want to face the decisions at that time. The next day, he is more likely to be inclined to help us, as people tend to keep their word; it is psychologically natural to want to go ahead with something that you said would be done.

7. Offers that cannot be rejected

It consists of starting with a request that they cannot refuse. This is a reverse "aim high" technique. Instead of starting with a large order, you start with something very small. Once someone has agreed to help us or agrees with us, they are more likely to be receptive to fulfilling a larger request. Scientists tested this phenomenon in advertising. They started by getting people to express their support for the environment and rainforests, which is a fairly simple request. They then found that once someone had agreed to support the environment, it was much easier to convince them to buy products that supported rainforests and other things.

8. Know how to correct

It is not a good idea to correct people when they are wrong. Carnegie also pointed out in his famous book that telling someone they are wrong is generally unnecessary and makes others turn away from us. Actually, there is a better way to disagree and turn it into a polite conversation, without telling him that he is wrong, because it affects the essence of his ego. The idea behind this is quite simple: instead of arguing, listen to what they have to say and then try to understand how they feel and why. Then discover the common ground you share with him and use it as a starting point to explain your position. This makes the other person much more likely to listen to what you have to say and allows you to correct them without losing your position..

9. Repeat things

Repeating again something that our interlocutor has just said is one of the most positive ways to influence others, as we show that we really understand what they are saying and how they feel, thus manifesting our empathy. One of the most effective ways to do this is by paraphrasing what they say and repeating it again, also known as reflective listening. Studies have shown that when therapists use reflective listening, people tend to reveal their emotions more and have a better therapeutic relationship. This can be transferred when talking to our friends. If we listen to what they tell us and rephrase it as a question to confirm that we understand it, they will feel more comfortable talking to us. They will also show greater friendship and will be more likely to listen to what we have to say, as it revealed that we care about them..

10. Nod

Nod while talking, especially when we want to ask for a favor. Scientists have found that when people nod while listening to something, they are more likely to agree with the other person. They have also seen that when someone nods a lot in front of us, we end up doing the same. This is understandable because human beings are well known for mimicking behaviors, especially those that we consider to have a positive connotation. So if you want to be very convincing, nod regularly throughout the conversation. The person who is speaking will find it difficult not to nod too, and they will start to feel good vibes towards what is being said, without even knowing it.


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