The strangest, most difficult-to-believe truth of life, ironically arises from fear of our own success. Abraham Maslow
Contents
All psychologists and many other curious people know who Abraham Maslow is and his theory on human needs, where he talks about self-realization and personal success. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people do not manage to achieve a life of true satisfaction nor do they really use their full potentialities effectively..
Discovering why many of us succumb to a strange innate attraction or tendency to mediocrity is essential to the fulfillment of our self-realization, and in this way to cultivate a life of success and personal growth..
Abraham Maslow thus postulated the existence of an inherent psychological condition in the human being, which sabotages his dreams of greatness and relegates him to living in mediocrity and conformism. He named this condition the Jonah Complex inspired by the biblical character Jonah who tried to flee from the fate that God had decreed against him.
As we just discussed, the psychologist Abraham Maslow coined the term Jonah complex to describe people who are afraid of their greatness, but it was the psychologist Matina Horner who first spoke of the fear of success in the 1970s, highlighting that women experience more fear of success than men. According to her, in women the achievement of success is accompanied by certain consequences that are not so rewarding: such as the loss of many friends, part of femininity and popularity. As stated, women are afraid of feeling socially rejected; this fear inhibits the achievement motive. Since then, however, most scientists and psychologists agree that fear of success exists for both men and women..
The biggest problem for many people is that their fear of success is largely unconscious.
Apparently the fear of success stems from the overwhelming sense of responsibility that success could bring, from living an extraordinary life that lacks personal familiarity, and sometimes self-esteem issues that prevent someone from seeing themselves as an important figure . To be successful, therefore, it takes a certain fortitude of character to bear the loss of some social aspects that you had until then and to allow people to see you as someone to look up to, while accepting an ordinary life actually requires a great deal. amount of humility.
The fact of not being able to take this leap of faith to nullify our doubts is what leads to our fear of success. In many cases, we will create elaborate means to sidestep or reduce our own success. This is why some often choose to procrastinate rather than just do what they know they need to do..
Resistance is the internal self-sabotage that prevents one from achieving success. Maslow essentially saw the fear of success as the paralysis of the polarity between success and failure..
The reason we often feel paralyzed by the confrontation between success and failure is because we are risking the ego for the sake of success while trying to protect it from failure. The choice most people make is to safeguard the ego from the risk of failure. But for some, challenging themselves to reach their full potential is difficult and too risky. It's easier (indirectly) to drown in TV shows, YouTube channels, and video games than it is to live through your own creations and greatness. For those who really want to succeed, however, the only option is to replace that inner doubt and march forward despite the possible risks and threats to the ego..
If you experience the following thoughts or fears, you may have a fear of success on some level:
Fear of success can have several causes:
There are different types of strategies that you can use to overcome your fear of success. The good news is that the more fears are faced and analyzed rationally, the more likely they are to drown those fears..
Take a realistic view of what will happen if you really succeed with your goal. Do not focus on your fears or negative expectations about what is going to happen. Allow at least 15 minutes to examine the following questions and record your answers to these questions:
It is likely that you have been successful in the past in some facet of your life, why not use this experience to subtly change current expectations? Ask yourself the following:
For example, suppose you don't push yourself for a job promotion, and the main reason is because you secretly fear that the income and additional recognition would jeopardize your family relationships. Or you might worry that being so busy working to maintain your success you will see little of your family..
To overcome these fears, you could establish some kind of rule by which, for example, you will always be home at 7 pm, or that you will mark a day to make up for lost time with your family. You could negotiate these plans with your boss, if he offers you the position.
By creating “safety” plans you can face your fears, and even eliminate those fears completely..
Sometimes there are people who react negatively to the success of others, especially if they think that you are much more successful now than in the past. They may be people with a somewhat limited and envious mentality, who do not know or cannot enjoy the success of their friends or family. Don't let your friends or co-workers stop you. Not assuming the success of others is their problem, not yours.
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