Abraham Maslow and the Jonah complex the fear of success

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Egbert Haynes
Abraham Maslow and the Jonah complex the fear of success

The strangest, most difficult-to-believe truth of life, ironically arises from fear of our own success. Abraham Maslow

Contents

  • Personal success according to Abraham Maslow's theory
  • Origin of the Jonah complex and women's fear of success
  • What does the Jonah complex consist of?
  • How to know if you suffer from the Jonah complex
  • What are the causes of fear of success?
  • Strategies for overcoming this fear
    • 1. Be realistic in your way of thinking about the future
    • 2. Use your previous experiences
    • 3. Face fear with a plan for when you achieve success
    • 4. Maybe the problem belongs to the other person and not yours

Personal success according to Abraham Maslow's theory

All psychologists and many other curious people know who Abraham Maslow is and his theory on human needs, where he talks about self-realization and personal success. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people do not manage to achieve a life of true satisfaction nor do they really use their full potentialities effectively..

Discovering why many of us succumb to a strange innate attraction or tendency to mediocrity is essential to the fulfillment of our self-realization, and in this way to cultivate a life of success and personal growth..

Abraham Maslow thus postulated the existence of an inherent psychological condition in the human being, which sabotages his dreams of greatness and relegates him to living in mediocrity and conformism. He named this condition the Jonah Complex inspired by the biblical character Jonah who tried to flee from the fate that God had decreed against him.

Origin of the Jonah complex and women's fear of success

As we just discussed, the psychologist Abraham Maslow coined the term Jonah complex to describe people who are afraid of their greatness, but it was the psychologist Matina Horner who first spoke of the fear of success in the 1970s, highlighting that women experience more fear of success than men. According to her, in women the achievement of success is accompanied by certain consequences that are not so rewarding: such as the loss of many friends, part of femininity and popularity. As stated, women are afraid of feeling socially rejected; this fear inhibits the achievement motive. Since then, however, most scientists and psychologists agree that fear of success exists for both men and women..

The biggest problem for many people is that their fear of success is largely unconscious.

What does the Jonah complex consist of?

Apparently the fear of success stems from the overwhelming sense of responsibility that success could bring, from living an extraordinary life that lacks personal familiarity, and sometimes self-esteem issues that prevent someone from seeing themselves as an important figure . To be successful, therefore, it takes a certain fortitude of character to bear the loss of some social aspects that you had until then and to allow people to see you as someone to look up to, while accepting an ordinary life actually requires a great deal. amount of humility.

The fact of not being able to take this leap of faith to nullify our doubts is what leads to our fear of success. In many cases, we will create elaborate means to sidestep or reduce our own success. This is why some often choose to procrastinate rather than just do what they know they need to do..

Resistance is the internal self-sabotage that prevents one from achieving success. Maslow essentially saw the fear of success as the paralysis of the polarity between success and failure..

The reason we often feel paralyzed by the confrontation between success and failure is because we are risking the ego for the sake of success while trying to protect it from failure. The choice most people make is to safeguard the ego from the risk of failure. But for some, challenging themselves to reach their full potential is difficult and too risky. It's easier (indirectly) to drown in TV shows, YouTube channels, and video games than it is to live through your own creations and greatness. For those who really want to succeed, however, the only option is to replace that inner doubt and march forward despite the possible risks and threats to the ego..

How to know if you suffer from the Jonah complex

If you experience the following thoughts or fears, you may have a fear of success on some level:

  • You feel guilty about any success you have, no matter how small, because your friends, family, or coworkers have not had the same success. You think this is humility, but it is not.
  • You don't talk about your achievements with other people.
  • You avoid or put off big projects, especially those that could lead to personal recognition. You may believe that this stems from a fear of failure, but it is very likely the opposite..
  • You often compromise your own goals or programs to avoid conflict in family or other people. You may not have any evidence that it could actually cause problems, but you convince yourself otherwise.
  • You feel, unconsciously, that you do not deserve to enjoy success in your life.
  • You believe that if you achieve success, you will not be able to sustain it. So you think, "why bother?"

What are the causes of fear of success?

Fear of success can have several causes:

  • We are afraid of what success will bring us loneliness, new enemies, even for having to ask for favors or money from the family to achieve it.
  • We are afraid that the higher we can climb in life, the harder the fall will be..
  • There is fear of the extra work that will bring us the success, the responsibilities and the criticism that we may have to face.
  • We fear that our relationships will suffer if we are successful. Our friends and family will react with jealousy or cynicism, and we could lose our loved ones..

Strategies for overcoming this fear

There are different types of strategies that you can use to overcome your fear of success. The good news is that the more fears are faced and analyzed rationally, the more likely they are to drown those fears..

1. Be realistic in your way of thinking about the future

Take a realistic view of what will happen if you really succeed with your goal. Do not focus on your fears or negative expectations about what is going to happen. Allow at least 15 minutes to examine the following questions and record your answers to these questions:

  • How will my friends and family react if I can achieve this goal?
  • How will my life change?
  • What is the worst that could happen if I can achieve this goal?
  • What's the best that can happen?
  • Why do I feel that I do not deserve to achieve this goal?
  • How motivated am I to work towards this goal??
  • What am I currently doing to sabotage my own effort?
  • How can I stop those self-sabotaging behaviors?

2. Use your previous experiences

It is likely that you have been successful in the past in some facet of your life, why not use this experience to subtly change current expectations? Ask yourself the following:

  • How have your family and friends reacted to your success in the past?
  • What changed in your life after the successes of the past?
  • What happened wrong after your previous success?
  • What motivated you to achieve the above goals?
  • Think about how you made the previous decisions that resulted in success and try to reproduce them.

3. Face fear with a plan for when you achieve success

For example, suppose you don't push yourself for a job promotion, and the main reason is because you secretly fear that the income and additional recognition would jeopardize your family relationships. Or you might worry that being so busy working to maintain your success you will see little of your family..

To overcome these fears, you could establish some kind of rule by which, for example, you will always be home at 7 pm, or that you will mark a day to make up for lost time with your family. You could negotiate these plans with your boss, if he offers you the position.

By creating “safety” plans you can face your fears, and even eliminate those fears completely..

4. Maybe the problem belongs to the other person and not yours

Sometimes there are people who react negatively to the success of others, especially if they think that you are much more successful now than in the past. They may be people with a somewhat limited and envious mentality, who do not know or cannot enjoy the success of their friends or family. Don't let your friends or co-workers stop you. Not assuming the success of others is their problem, not yours.


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