Falling in love is something that often happens suddenly, without us looking for it at the time. Sometimes we wonder if there is a stipulated time to determine if what a person feels is desire, attraction of empty love or it is a sincere and true love. Today we are going to try to clarify all these doubts for you.
Love is a very human feeling, although there are different types of love, since the love that a mother feels for her child, the love we feel towards a pet or the love of a couple is not the same..
But sometimes love can be confused with passion, fleeting infatuation or whim, according to the love pyramid of Robert J. Strenberg, since thanks to oxytocin, a hormone known as "happiness" or "love" When stimulated, it makes us confuse sexual desire with love, when perhaps it is only excitement or enthusiasm. Also our own ideas, values, perception or lack of objectivity can lead us to errors.
Love is the feeling of affection, respect, trust, protection, sexual attraction, commitment, freedom to be one, show and give affection, tolerate, support that two people give each other, knowing each other at least on a solid basis, without either of the two being above the other, as specified by science.
Sexology professionals such as Marta Arasanz, Sylvia DeBéjar and even in literary form we can cite Plato in his work El banquete, he speaks of the couple, the dyad, as the perfect way for the love relationship to work. Although there are open relationships by mutual agreement that other people sexually frequent, and even experience polyamory, according to anthropologist and biologist Helen Fisher, 2 is still the ideal number of the sexual loving couple, according to studies carried out in continents such as Europe and America. that, simultaneously maintaining different sexual love relationships at the same time, you may not have that balanced love or commitment or two-way love that is what characterizes the love of a loving sexual partner.
Studies have been done at the International Academy of Sex Research that indicate that simple eye contact can be the trigger for love in men. Thus, with a first vision of the other person, of just 8.2 seconds, a man can fall asleep before a woman whom he considers beautiful, pleasant, charming or funny.
On the other hand, according to Dr. José Bustamante, he informed the Sexology students of Fundación U.N.E.D. In one of the key conferences of the year 2011/2012, sincere mutual love usually appears after 3 years of having a sexual love relationship, whatever the sex, once the passion of the first days has subsided. And, if it ends before, we can say that it was just a passionate whim, an adventure. When there is a lack of mutuality on both sides, people walk in different directions and do not form a common future.
For a relationship to work in the long term, you have to fight for it together, since, as A. Beck said, "love is not enough." It is not always all rosy, and you have to work, cultivate and adapt.
So how do they show that they are in love with their partner, that they sincerely love and struggle to move on? Well, when they show great respect and complementarity with their partner, they prioritize their positive parts, they try to avoid communication errors such as anger or banal discussions that can harm mutual well-being. They are affectionate (verbally as well as physically, and not only sexually), they worry about their day to day, talk about the future in the plural, and value their partner in her good and bad moments.
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