Lead well to communicate better

"It is easier to reduce the impact of our defects than to expand the space of our virtues".

Know send

Some people have serious problems to command. Commanding naturally is something that only some very self-confident people do without problems. In general, it is a skill that is acquired with the exercise of directive action, but not without difficulties.

One of the aspects that distinguishes a manager with experience from another without it is the ability to adapt the style of order to the general environment of the company. The inexperienced manager almost always uses SUGGESTIONS instead of COMMANDS. Suggestions work well in camaraderie environments, but their indiscriminate use tends to lead to dialogues such as the following:

Manager: Juan, please, it would be nice if we changed the printer.
Juan: Yes, but don't ask me… I'm very busy.
Manager: Miguel, please, you have to change the printer.
Miguel: That's Juan's thing.

Orders are clearly coercive messages intended to provoke conduct, issued by whoever has the authority to do so. According to the degree of coercion we can distinguish different formulations:

• Suggestion: The action is indicated without directly holding a subordinate responsible. "Someone should do such a thing".
• Justified order: A subordinate is indicated a behavior to do, indicating the reason for said action. "Juan, please, it is necessary to do such a thing because tomorrow they will come to pick up the order".
• Unjustified order: A subordinate is told the conduct to do. "Juan prepares the ZX order for tomorrow".
• Order with summons: The order includes a temporary or other term that must be followed. "Juan, this order has to be ready by eight o'clock".
• Order with programmed sanction: A positive or negative sanction linked to the ordered action is announced to a subordinate. "Juan, if the order is not for 8 o'clock, forget about the holiday I promised you." "If you finish this job before noon you can take the Pilar bridge".

Suggestions like:

"It would be very nice to achieve / do such a thing"
"It would be great if you did / we did such a thing"

… Are correct in environments where hierarchical differences are scarce and camaraderie predominates. Curiously, they also work very well when the authority of the boss is so undisputed and obvious that it is enough to hint at an action for several volunteers to appear to execute it. In these cases, the use of the plural attenuates the coercive effect and increases the boss's commitment to action..

Using only suggestions and justified orders limits the manager's room for maneuver, as well as ordering in a tense or hostile tone of voice. The manager has to know how to command without justifications, but with affability.

Orders with summons must be used judiciously because of the tension they introduce into boss-subordinate relationships. Whoever emplays has to know how to handle this tension, for example using formulations in the plural of the type:

"We must act in such a way. This means that by that date we have to have this job finished".

Managers who work with teams of professionals should rush through these intermediate formulas, because smart people should see the benefit of trust.

Errors by bosses when applying pressure on an order:

• Bosses who want to be interpreted. There are people who do not know how to order clearly. They are based on remote suggestions, sometimes as if they were comments left here and there, but in their imagination they seem to be ordering clearly. When they realize that no one has paid attention to them, they get angry. That is, they do not order directly, but require their subordinates to interpret their suggestions as if they were orders..
• Bosses that last until they explode. Other managers know how to suggest and order, but they do not know how to exercise a third coercive step: sit down with the subordinate and turn the cards face up. They wait and wait for a spontaneous change that does not come, until their emotions betray them and explode in a bad way.
• Bosses who fear disobedience and at all times tighten the rope to the maximum. They do not trust their subordinates. For them, to be disobeyed is to question them no longer as bosses, but as people. Each order is a test for which they are thoroughly employed.

Place the boss

Some subordinates repeatedly and apparently disobey our orders. Being disobedient does not mean being lazy too. The loafers are only one category within the disobedient.

Let's see the various typologies:

• Immature Personality: Late Teens Who Need Assertiveness.
• Errors in the way of sending. Lack of adaptation to certain characteristics of the subordinate.
• Natural leaders and people of worth who need to grow.
• Jokers.
• Passive-aggressive personality.
• Loafers.

Those who suffer from personal immaturity need to assert themselves through disobedience. They even fulfill their responsibilities, but after the deadline, or in a way that makes their independence clear to their immediate bosses, although they usually fulfill their obligations. Do not fall into the mistake of scolding this subordinate profile, much less scold them for trifles and in public, as an enemy could easily be created. The best strategy is to reinforce the positive aspects of his work, make him understand that we are not ogres, but people who can appreciate his successes, and not take it for granted when he tries to generate a confrontation looking for the "melee".

Regarding the errors in the way of command, we must say that not infrequently it is the manager himself who has carved out his bitter destiny, for example by treating his subordinates in an inconsiderate way..

Some frequent errors in the way of ordering:

• Inattention to objections, often reasonable, from subordinates.
• Smug or cocky style. Unnecessary use of direct commands when people would be more comfortable with suggestions.
• Lack of security. Need to constantly justify yourself. Sort almost as if apologizing for the fact of sending.
• Things are never done to your liking. The subordinates do not try to do things well because they know that they will never receive a word of support..
• Not adjusting our style to the characteristics of the subordinate.

Some subordinates are endowed with a leadership capacity that - due to their job position - they cannot develop. They see their manager as a person of less value than themselves, and they dislike that. They are driven to sharply criticize the initiatives that are taken and if - in addition - their proposals are not accepted, they easily fall into frank negativity.

The natural leader needs room to grow. We must give him responsibilities without undermining our own role. If it is completely impossible to give responsibilities to this person, we will not hesitate to recommend them to other Departments, and in the meantime make it clear that we appreciate their value, but that each one has to fulfill the responsibilities that they have..

Another very different case is the joker. What are the secret benefits of the joker ?:

• The pleasure of being feared by superiors, subordinates and equals. Their sharp tongue can ruin a career or create states of opinion around people or topics..
• The joker has a good start as a court jester. Sometimes he is recruited directly by a boss to fill this void, going from private to sergeant simply for being funny at the expense of other people. Such an ally can enhance the sadistic tendency of an immature boss..
• When the joker sharpens his tongue against his own Boss, he can do it simply to have a good time or - which is more frequent - to get extra benefits: to gain a reputation as untouchable or to be expelled from certain obligations.

A first possibility that you always have to consider: Are you excessively sensitive to criticism or ridicule from others? If so, perhaps we are talking more about a weakness of his than a strength of the joker. And therefore the correct action is to act on your weakness: ignore the giggles behind your back and the problem is over..

Before a joker we can ignore or we can fight back, everything will depend on our interests and capabilities. Simply being indifferent is already a way to counteract it. Another effective way to treat the joker is to interrupt him when he is about to speak, especially if we guess that he is going to say one of his thanks. The third tactic is to punish him indirectly. Every time he jokes, he is given some extra chore. He soon establishes a cause-and-effect relationship and learns the price of his jokes..

Another profile that we must quickly identify is that of the passive-aggressive. Subjects with passive-aggressive personality are people who badly accept being commanded with direct orders. Since they were little they have been used to being the opposite. They have a contained aggressiveness that leads to outbursts of anger when they are "loaded", but in the process of charging they can appear very calm.

These subjects require a friendly but firm treatment at the same time.

Some characteristics of passive-aggressive

• They act seeking the confrontation with the boss.
• They disobey without facing the Boss.
• They disobey mainly to annoy the Boss, without taking into account the importance of the task or the global consequences of disobedience.
• Reasons are sought to justify the confrontation. They are artists of resentment: where there is none, they believe it.
• Disobediences create more problems for them than benefits, sometimes they even risk being fired, but they are drawn towards conflicts of authority.
• They show other people an unusual degree of hostility against the Boss, which does not appear at all in their direct relationship with him.
• Only occasionally does this hostility manifest itself openly as aggressiveness. It is more like underground or treacherous revenge: anonymous, boycotts, etc..

Passive-aggressive ones have to be turned around. Instead of entering the spiral of tension that they themselves cause, we have to unmark ourselves and send them a message that we consider them to be friends..
Let's see an example:

"Anselmo was in charge of a Maintenance Unit. One of the workers, Eduardo, seemed as if he expressly made an effort to do things wrong, especially when he received direct orders. A couple of times he fell into the trap of admonishing him, which it only made the situation worse. Advised by the head of Human Resources, Anselmo changed his strategy. When he detected that Eduardo had not changed a deposit, despite having ordered it, he said: "Eduardo, you did such a job very well. By the way, we are going to change the deposit. Come, help me. "They began to change the deposit but once the work started, Anselmo gave him various instructions and left him to attend to other matters, all in a cordial atmosphere:" If you need help, let me know or call Fernández, "he said. . He repeated this tactic as many times as he disobeyed him: first a praise and then jointly initiate the order, trying at all times to give him the same treatment as the rest of the staff. "

Before hanging the lazy tag on a person, we must analyze several possibilities that are often confused:

• Some people with psychological or psychiatric problems may go through phases of very low work performance and, once recovered from the trance, return to their previous levels of activity.
• Do not confuse gandulería with inconstancy either. Some people need a challenging job and will never adapt to routine tasks.
• Some people take revenge on the company with a poor performance. Suspect a passive-aggressive personality in such a case.

Well, we have already ruled out the false sloths ... we are facing a real lazy ... how can we explain the phenomenon of the sloth?

We can distinguish between the active and the passive lazy. The asset is usually a person who has not gotten into the habit of working. In these subjects, learning to work is closely linked to knowing how to concentrate on a task for a sufficient period of time. In other words: knowing how to focus and motivate.

Passive sloths are especially prone to hibernation. They lack verve. They can spend hours doing a minimal task, as if their work rate is in slow motion. You, as responsible, can have a nervous breakdown while watching them and yet they hardly flinch. The warning and the sanction do not seem to be the ideal recipe. Other possible and perhaps more practical measures are:

• Study the profile of the worker and adjust their job position.
• Change the Department worker. Sometimes with another manager things improve substantially, just by starting another dynamic.
• Be patient and wait for a slow adaptation to your job. In certain cases we can transfer passive loafers to places where it will be the colleagues themselves who will demand a minimum performance..
• Another possibility is to plan a behavior modeling.
• Finally, you have to consider separating it from the Department. Although it may be painful, we cannot tolerate that he infects the rest of the team with his habits.

Manager's personal development

The task of leading involves putting ourselves at risk and balancing what is expected of us with what we truly are and can give. The manager works constantly communicating, but communicates from his personality, and only progresses firmly when he works on his personality.
Only the manager who has a global vision of his life, of his work, family and personal relationships, will be fully qualified to face the hard setbacks of the profession.

We understand by personal growth of the manager:

• The adaptation of its ethical principles to the different situations that it must face. Adaptation does not mean betrayal. What's more, you must maintain a consistent line. Each manager must decide what this goal is: personal achievement, the well-being of his family, social benefit, etc ... And he must gradually discover himself in the actions he undertakes or to which he is invited, exercising the will of coherence, being able to reject proposals that in the long run will harm you in a moral sense, not only in your social projection or economic interest.
• The perfecting of its virtues and the attenuation of its defects.
• The ability to increasingly understand people as components of an organization. This means practicing listening in solidarity with the subordinate who comes to us but also with the one who does not attend or has the possibility to do so..
• And finally, to be the same person in the different environments of our life: in the family, at work, with friends or at etiquette meetings. It would be the principle of integrity.

Some practical principles for the manager's personal development:

Relating to emotions
1. Fight laziness, practice generosity.
2. Modulate negative emotions, especially hostility.

Relating to our ability to prosecute
3. Preserve our judgment (when they influence us that it is always because they convince us) and perceive our degrees of freedom (do not be confused when we think we are acting freely and in reality we are guilty of the will of another person or institution).
4. Analyze each specific situation, allowing us to be different. Risk new behaviors consistent with our ethics, without dogmas that serve as an excuse not to think.

Relating to our integrity
5. Authenticate our decisions based on our deepest feelings (values). Do not get carried away because others do.

Relating to our sources of personal enrichment
6. Diversify contexts and seek enriching interpersonal relationships outside the workplace. This is the best insurance for moments of real crisis (for example when you are fired, retired ...)

Relating to our image and self-esteem
7. Accept ourselves as we are, value ourselves as we are and not accept the unrealistic expectations that others project on us, neither more nor less.
8. Do things for which we will feel proud, adapted and consistent in each life stage.

Relative to the goals we set for ourselves
9. Plan with equal diligence both our personal and professional development, and have as sources of pleasure not only professional achievements, but also family, personal and social ones.

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