Certain people live their emotional relationships under the shadow of fear of abandonment
These links are maintained within this influence, and the person comes to endure "anything" so as not to be abandoned. Abandonment is a fear that prevents a person from establishing relationships - especially as a couple - in trust, respect, adequate communication and love; the individual with this fear acquires various unconscious behaviors. Let's see two, which I consider, cause greater emotional damage: one is to get away from people who can love her and the other is to attract just those who are not going to love her. In general, these people develop correspondingly, the attitude of indifference or victimhood. The first is an attitude characterized by avoidance and the second by suffering; both hide the fear of abandonment.
Let's start with the person who presents the attitude of victim: it is someone who attracts as a partner who is going to make her suffer; he meets individuals who are disabled to be intimate, immature, promiscuous, married or simply who disagree with the commitment and make a couple; therefore, frequently the individual with this attitude is left with an empty nest or trapped in a union with permanent conflict. What he fears is fulfilled: abandonment. Situation that tends to be aggravated when the victim becomes obsessed with abandonment and harasses, persecutes or harasses him; looking in a sick way for her to come back (not to leave her). Now, the other attitude, that of indifference, is characterized by flight; the person runs when they feel they can fall in love, looking for insurmountable physical or emotional barriers to end their relationship; according to the couple. The individual may invent a trip, be unfaithful, or change to disappointing behavior. It simply generates reasons to fall out of love or fall out of love. As can be seen, the two attitudes are opposite and complementary; that is, they attract each other and have great possibilities of establishing a relationship, united by a common factor: fear of abandonment.
To observe this habit, let's take the case of Elena:
This is an attractive woman who struggles to establish a stable romantic relationship, she has had two "stable" relationships, the first was with the father of her only daughter, a man who never respected her. The man constantly walked his lovers in front of her in a blatant way; however, Elena continually forgave him. The relationship ended when his partner established a relationship with another woman and left permanently; abandoned Elena. She suffered many years trying to forget and forgive, she was tumbling in different arms to ease her love grief, until after a few years another man emerged. Elena had apparently found a new love and a stable union; However, after a year, the man began to behave strangely and, claiming a depression, he left her. On the contrary, instead of her moving away, he insisted and continued looking for him in his new home, justifying the persecution with his financial situation, until he managed to get back into his bed and his life, with multiple manipulations. Situation that did not remain, after a short time, again he started with the same attitudes and one day he asked Elena to leave because he had found a new love. Elena left with a contrite heart and a destroyed soul. She observed him several times with his new partner, walking calmly in front of him. However, the story does not end here: Elena has returned to him again; she has become involved in a vicious cycle of conflict and abandonment.
Elena's case is the typical one of a person who presents fear of abandonment with victimhood, she lived it from a very young age; her parents emotionally abandoned her when she was little; one cause was the alcoholism of the father and the other, the pain suffered after the death of his older sister; Given this, the parents stopped paying attention to him, giving him affection, putting limits on him and, logically, love, especially the father. María got used to being in need and suffering from abandonment, she became obsessed with getting her father to take care of her and love her, but since she did not succeed, she continued looking for him in every man she fell in love with; However, she attracted men with whom she had no possibility of them loving her, she conquered them by behaving as they liked, but soon after, they realized that Elena was not like that; so at this moment, they would abandon her. Elena was unconsciously looking for men who "knew" sooner or later would abandon her, like her father; However, her obsession with getting them to love her led her to manipulate and besiege them, turning her life into a rolling of suffering, just as she was used to..
People who have the fear of abandonment are people who come from an emotional inheritance, also from abandonment. It is possible that one or more of your ancestors have experienced episodes of abandonment in the context of life or death. In the aforementioned cases, fear permeates every cell of the ancestor's body and is then transmitted through their genes, waiting for a descendant to heal the information. This experience is what promotes the repetition of events in the family clan, so that someone transcends them and releases them..
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