Sexual fantasies, definition and types

Charles McCarthy
Sexual fantasies, definition and types


  • What is a sexual fantasy?
  • So is it bad to have erotic fantasies?
  • Types of fantasies
  • The most frequent fantasies
    • Male sexual fantasies
    • Female sexual fantasies
  • Is it good to put erotic fantasies into practice?

What is a sexual fantasy?

Sexual fantasies are sexual-themed mental representations. They can be produced voluntarily or involuntarily by our mind and are quite common, although most people keep them for their privacy.

They usually appear at puberty and accompany the human being for the rest of his life. It has been proven that both men and women fantasize with the same frequency but their fantasies are different and men tend to explain them with less modesty than women. Fantasies do not depend on age or sex.

Having fantasies is something completely natural and healthy from the psychic point of view since they serve to disconnect the mind from everyday problems, it is an escape route that leads us to evasion. In addition, they have an aphrodisiac power that can increase sexual desire and arousal. In fact, it seems that having few or no fantasies could be an indicator of Hypoactive Sexual Desire or suffering from a picture of stress.

So is it bad to have erotic fantasies?

For this type of fantasy to be considered as something pathological, they should affect the life of the individual and be their only way of having sexual pleasure. In this case we would speak of paraphilias, in which the fantasy becomes an obsessive act, the end of which is not sexual gratification but rather to carry out the situation generated by the person's obsession..

Sexual fantasies help to improve one's pleasure, since they stimulate the libido, so it is healthy to have fantasies and we should not feel guilty about having them.

Types of fantasies

Two types of fantasies can be defined, the so-called "creative" that aim to enrich the sexual relationship and awaken desire and the "longed for", these refer to what you would like to happen. Almost all, both of one type and the other, report pleasant sensations, although sometimes there are people who may have fantasies that are disturbing to them, such as dreaming of a rape, if the fantasy is recurrent and causes discomfort to the person, it should be investigated the origin since there could be some trauma or unconscious fear in the person.

The most frequent fantasies

Male sexual fantasies

  • Make a threesome. Perhaps the most popular male sexual fantasy. Many fantasize about having two women in bed at the same time, ménage à trois always occupies the first places when it comes to fantasizing.
  • The role plays. Pretending that your partner is someone else is also a classic of the male imagination. There is the classic nurse or horny maid, but the police also triumph, better if they are accompanied by a good set of handcuffs.
  • Voyeurism. Being an observer of your partner's masturbation is also something that turns men on a lot, especially if the other person doesn't realize it. The contemplation of naked people or having sexual encounters can lead to the fantasy of having sex with another person while watching their partner or having someone observe them while they make love.
  • Sex in public, Many men find the risk of being caught during sex exciting; in the bathrooms of a disco, on a beach with people.

Female sexual fantasies

  • Submission. The woman wishes to receive orders or even experience pleasure through physical pain. In general, women who like this type of game tend to be controllers in real life and get turned on thinking that for once they are not the ones with the power.
  • Violation. Although it is a very thorny issue, this is a fantasy that occurs and at the same time is very unconfessable. It has a lot to do with the fantasy of submission. We must take into account this fantasy is very far and has absolutely nothing to do with a desire to be attacked, it is simply exciting for the woman to think that she is capable of driving the man crazy to the point of making him lose control.
  • Lesbian fantasies (heterosexual women). It is one of the most common fantasies and it does not mean being bisexual, it is simply because of the curiosity that it arouses.
  • Sex with strangers or celebrities. Fantasy is having a fleeting, unexpected and non-binding encounter with the other person.
  • Being a dominatrix. In this case, the woman is excited to think that she has control over the man, inflicting humiliation on him and being the only recipient of pleasure..
  • The exhibitionist. It is wanting to be seen while having sex, either by strangers on the spot or being filmed.
  • The voyeurist. Observing from a hidden place how others have relationships is also a very recurrent fantasy, as well as imagining participating in sexual acts while other people observe.

Is it good to put erotic fantasies into practice?

It depends on the type of fantasy. According to specialists, some fantasies are better to remain in the imagination and to carry them out could compromise the physical integrity of the participants and are classified as crimes, for example, having sex in public. Other fantasies can be put into practice as they can help stimulate sexual life and overcome some inhibitions..

The best thing is that it is the same person who decides if it is better for them to stay in the world of fantasy or want to try it in real life. But if the person is in a sexual relationship in which his sexual tastes are in line with those of his partner, there is no reason not to share the most intimate fantasies. Anyway, you always have to assess whether the fantasy can bother the other. In a relationship, not everything has to be shared.

Yet No Comments