Surely you have ever had a discussion or negotiation that has gone from being calm and cordial or friendly to being rather violent and tense. Today we tell you what are the benefits of non-violent communication and why you should avoid that other type of more violent communication.
Contents
The best way to understand what non-violent communication is is… Explaining what violent communication is. So we are going to start there and then we will talk about what non-violent communication is (that is, the alternative)..
Violent communication is a type of conversation in which we essentially seek to be right. We rarely listen and, if we do, it is to refute or criticize the other point of view..
It is, in short, an aggressive communication. And, as you can imagine, this type of communication makes relationships difficult and, on many occasions, leads to suffering..
Non-violent communication appears in opposition to this type of aggressive communication. It was the psychologist Marshall Rosenberg who proposed this new communication system that tries to be more assertive and consistent with personal values.
Thus, non-violent communication arises as the opportunity to reinvent the way we communicate in our conversations. As you can guess, it is the opposite of what we have mentioned above.
Non-violent communication consists of speaking and listening from the heart, with the aim of connecting with ourselves, but also with others. In this way, compassion is allowed to emerge, so the aggressiveness of conversations disappears.
In order to carry out non-violent communication, these four components must be taken into account:
First of all, it is important to forget about value judgments and labeling. The basic idea is that our words are windows rather than closed doors that block conversations. eye! This does not mean that judgments cannot be made. You simply have to be able to separate what is objective from what is subjective judgment.
Expressing our feelings from responsibility allows us to improve communication and relationships with others, because we allow them to get to know us. Many people are afraid to do so, because it implies uncovering vulnerabilities, but it is essential in this type of communication.
This point is important to free others from guilt and take charge of ourselves. Taking into account that we are the ones who generate our emotions, being aware of their origin and working on it is the best way not to burden others with our frustrations (which would generate friction).
To avoid misunderstandings, it is best to use positive language that facilitates conversations and avoids generating unnecessary tension.
Rosenberg used the metaphor of two animals in order to adequately explain his NVC. According to the psychologist, we can adopt one attitude or another in the relationships we maintain with other people.
Jackals are the most predominant people in society, and they are characterized by trying to dominate others, being demanding and competitive, and operating based on punishment and rewards. In their conversations, they use criticism, sarcasm and accusation.
Instead, giraffes try to be objective and are aware of other people's feelings and needs (in addition to their own). Of course, they are the ones who practice compassionate communication..
Finally, let's mention some of the benefits of non-violent communication:
So, as you can see, it is very worth putting this type of communication into practice..
Non-violent communication is the best way to communicate, it has health benefits and allows you to achieve better results in what you are trying to achieve with the discussion. So ... why not give it a try?
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