One more year ends, twelve months in which our lives have been filled with changes, both positive and negative. Twelve months of experiences that may have made us mature. We may inevitably review all the events we have experienced, the most important moments, and all that we have learned from them. Surely we get an idea of how we want the new year to go, what are our hopes and what we want to change or remain stable.
However, it is by listing the new resolutions that we may realize that we have missed some, if not quite a few, goals to accomplish in the last year. We may not have been able to quit smoking, save an amount of money or play sports as we had set out to do.
These three previous examples are not, in fact, something random but the most common promises that many people make each year and that they are not able to fulfill.
Why does this happen? When we are aware of this type of failure, we are filled with a feeling of frustration and helplessness and we may end up believing that we will never be able to achieve what we set out to do. And this is a big mistake. Most of the time we make proposals without knowing exactly how to fulfill them and when we fail, we tend to blame ourselves mercilessly, instead of blaming the failure on a lack of programming and methodology. Something that behavioral psychologists know very well.
Today we explain the simple tips that will make your New Year proposals something more tangible, practical and easy to achieve, pay attention and take aim!!
Maybe you have been carrying out proposals for some time that do not suppose a real motivation for you. Perhaps what you thought motivated you years ago is not what you are looking for now and that is the reason why you fail again and again in your proposals. It may be that moving up in your job is not what you really want and if it is to carry out your own project or study a new career. If we do not know ourselves well and do not accept our true aspirations, we will not have the necessary drive to carry them out. Sometimes these proposals have more to do with our health or physique, or our economy, situations that are not so aspirational, as necessary. In that case, it will benefit you to read the next point.
Of course, your goals can be great and even of enormous significance to you. But setting a goal for yourself in general is a big mistake. Charles Duhigg, author of "The Power of Habits" knows very well how to guide behavior to achieve these good changes that we want. According to this author, New Year's resolutions should not be thought of as a resolution, but as a plan: “It is much more important than setting a distant goal, such as running a marathon, setting concrete goals, immediate plans to start immediately"
This plan, in the case of a marathon, could be “run 5 kms in a given time”. A time that adjusts to our possibilities. And then another batch and so on until we have, little by little, managed to run the entire marathon.
If our purpose is to stop smoking, it is of little use to throw it into the air with determination if we do not have a strategy for it. Perhaps it would be easier to reduce the number of cigarettes, as well as to substitute this habit for better ones or even to seek professional help, in order to get rid of this habit with time and strategy..
If you have proposed a change in your life, try to get the best facilities to achieve it. If, for example, you have decided to go to the gym and train, do you think that the proximity of the gym you join will be important? According to this study, it is a lot. Those people who went to a gym that was 8 km from their home, went to it once a month. But those who went to a gym 6 km away, went 5 times or more a month. This difference of two kilometers means greater comfort that enhances the motivation to achieve a change. Therefore, making things as easy as possible can be essential.
Keeping track of our steps and how we are adjusting to the strategies is a great support to keep us focused on what we want to achieve, as well as motivated by our progress. Imagine that you are trying to lose weight but don't keep track of what you have lost or gained in the last few months. Keeping a diary and seeing your progress can improve the strategies to alleviate your weaknesses as well as motivate yourself by the small achievements that you have been achieving. For this you can use both a notebook or agenda and many apps that are specifically designed to record these processes.
In the words of the doctor and clinical psychologist Jessamy Hibberd, “the biggest obstacle to getting new habits is self-criticism. Study after study shows how self-criticism is correlated with lower motivation and worse self-control in contrast to those who are kind to themselves and support themselves just as they would with a friend. Especially when facing failure ".
Understanding that we can all have made mistakes and finding the motivation to change them is very important. People with high self-criticism may feel unable to achieve a goal, since the feeling of helplessness is too high. Behavioral psychologists have proven time and again, however, that both humans and animals can learn new habits with good practice and methodology. Even by doing failure, we can all learn new things if we are faced with the fear of failure that prevents us from moving forward..
If this new year you have proposed to meet your goals, from Psicoactiva we encourage you to achieve them with motivation and energy. It is important that you share your goals with the people you trust, as the support of others is a great encouragement. Even if you think it can benefit you, you can go to a professional to advise you and help you better plan your strategies to achieve the goals you want. We wish you a year full of success and fulfillment!