Resilience returns to your natural state

Alexander Pearson
Resilience returns to your natural state

Many of you may be wondering what resilience is. This concept is a term that derives from Latin (from the verb resilio, resilire: "jump back, bounce"). Resilience actually means returning to our previous state, our "natural" state so to speak, especially after going through a critical or unusual situation. It is the ability we have to face adversity, coming out stronger and reaching a state of personal balance.


  • What is resilience?
  • How to build resilience
  • Personal qualities for optimal resilience capacity
  • How to develop our resilience

What is resilience?

In psychology, resilience corresponds to the ability we have to deal with our own problems.

… Overcome obstacles and don't give in to pressure, regardless of the situation. It is the quality that we display to overcome periods of emotional pain and trauma. Its meaning is very similar to that of the term "integrity". The theory also tells us that resilience is the ability of the individual to make a decision in a moment of crisis, even being afraid of the effect that this decision may cause on us. With this ability, the person shows whether or not they know how to deal with a pressure situation.

Various studies have shown that resilience is common, it is not an extraordinary quality in humans. People generally demonstrate sufficient resilience to cope with the vicissitudes of life.

Being someone with resilience does not mean that we do not experience difficulties or anguish. Emotional pain and sadness are normal (and even adaptive) in people who have suffered great adversity or trauma in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is probably full of obstacles that affect our emotional state..

On the other hand, resilience is not a characteristic that is possessed in a static way, as it includes behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed like any other capacity..

How to build resilience

It has been found that one of the most important factors in resilience is having loving and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships of this type, which offer love and security, help to affirm the resilience of the person. Although there are a combination of factors that contribute to its effective development:

  • The ability to make realistic plans and take the necessary steps to carry them out.
  • A positive view of ourselves, confidence in our strengths and abilities.
  • Work skills in communication and problem solving.
  • The ability to handle strong feelings and impulses.

All these are factors that people can work on ourselves or, if we are not capable, with the support of a specialist..

Personal qualities for optimal resilience capacity

On the other hand, experts have analyzed what are the qualities that allow some people to be more graceful than others in the most difficult and complicated moments, and have determined that they are the following:

  • Flexibility and adaptability: if we expect everything to go as we wish and curse when it does not, this attitude limits us when it comes to facing reality. We must accept that things can be as we expect them, or completely different, and be prepared for them. In this way, we can devise creative and innovative solutions that would otherwise be impossible for us..
  • Do not victimize ourselves: When we victimize ourselves, we lose the power we have to change reality. In adversity, it is necessary to coldly analyze what resources we have, what is in our power to do or change and get down to work.
  • Have hope and a positive outlook on life: when we go through a bad time, it seems to us that our future automatically turns black and that nothing will change for the rest of our lives. It is important to trust that things will improve and turn out well, and to continue looking for the positive aspects that we can find in the circumstances that we are living, no matter how negative they may seem to us..

This positive vision does not prevent the person from being realistic, because it does not suppose to stop seeing obstacles, but it allows him not to focus only on them.

How to develop our resilience

Resilience means, above all, keeping an open mind to better cope with difficult circumstances or traumatic events.

To achieve this we can follow the following tips:

  • Give us freedom to experience strong emotions, but recognizing when we have to avoid them in order to continue to function effectively.
  • Don't throw in the towel: move on and act to address our problems and face the demands of daily life.
  • Sometimes take a step back to rest and fill ourselves with energy again.
  • Find time to spend with our loved ones to receive their support and encouragement, and also their care.
  • Trust others, but above all trust ourselves.

To finish saying that, on some occasion I have seen resilience compare to making a trip downriver in a raft: in a river we can find slow waters, rapids, unexpected turns, shallow areas and other overwhelming ones. As in life, the changes we experience along the way always affect us in some way. But the fact of traveling on the river helps us to know it and to remember the past experiences we have had with it. For this reason, our trip is a diary that is written every day, which will help us in the future to find the strategies that work best for us when the waters are rougher, but when they are not so rough, too..

Perseverance and confidence in our ability to avoid obstacles are very important. We must think that our acumen in successfully navigating rough waters will give us courage. The people we trust and who accompany us on the journey, can help us cope with the rapids, currents and other difficulties of the river.

We can also get off the raft and rest on the river bank from time to time. However, to continue our journey of life, we must get back on the raft and continue ...

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