+100 Phrases of Dr House Sarcastic and Philosophical

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Jonah Lester
+100 Phrases of Dr House Sarcastic and Philosophical

I leave you the best Dr. House quotes about life, love, men, patients, medicine and much more. He is the iconic and charismatic character from one of the most successful series in history.

The series revolves around a group of doctors, led by Dr. House, who try to make really difficult diagnoses. As a curiosity, the original idea is for House to appear in a wheelchair, to make it more particular, but the Fox network refused.

Finally, the writers of the series chose to give the doctor a lame leg caused by a misdiagnosis in his past. This is also one of the keys to the series; House is in chronic pain and becomes addicted to narcotics.

Hugh Laurie, the actor who gives life to Doctor House, is the only one who appears in every episode of the entire series and his famous phrase "everyone lies" appears in numerous episodes.

Phrases from Doctor House to remember

-That things change does not mean that they will improve.

-If you can fake sincerity, you can fake almost anything.

-The concept you have of me will not change me, but the concept that I have of you will change..

-A basic truth of the human condition is that everyone lies, the only thing that varies is what they lie about..

-If nobody hates you, you are doing something wrong.

-If you speak to God, you are religious. If God speaks to you, you are psychotic.

-The advantage of being weird is that it makes you stronger.

-The truth begins in the lies.

-As the philosopher Jagger once said, "you can't always get what you want.".

-Humanity is overrated.

-Did you swallow something stuck to a refrigerator? Darwin says: 'let it die'.

-Eyes can deceive, smile can lie, but shoes always tell the truth.

-In this universe the effect follows the cause.

-There is nothing in this universe that cannot be explained.

-Do you know that people often say that you cannot live without love? Well oxygen is more important.

-Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.

-Do you want to know how two chemicals interact? Do you ask them? No, they will lie through their lying little teeth. Throw them into a beaker and apply heat.

-I take risks, sometimes patients die, but not taking risks makes even more patients die.

-I have found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should consult..

-It is one of the great tragedies of life, something always changes.

-I don't ask why patients lie, I just assume everyone does..

-People choose the paths that guarantee the greatest rewards for the least effort.

-I don't feel miserable or pissed off. I don't feel good or bad. I do not feel anything.

-Arrogance has to be earned.

-I'm good. I'm just not happy.

-When we don't find a logical answer, we make up a foolish answer.

-This baby beat me in the weekly contest for the strangest thing pulled out of a hole.

-The patient has collapsed. This is why I created the nurses, clean aisle three!!

-Reality is almost always wrong.

-We all make mistakes, and we all pay a price.

-Everybody does stupid things, but it shouldn't cost them everything they have in life.

-People like to talk about people. It makes us feel superior, it makes us feel like we are in control. Sometimes knowing certain things makes some people take an interest in others.

-Men are pigs. They will surely have sex with anyone, fat, skinny, married, single, strangers, relatives ...

-The good news is, you won't complain about losing your hand if you can't breathe..

-I choose to believe that the white light that people sometimes see are chemical reactions that take place when the brain shuts down.

-Do you think your father wants to kill you because you are so ugly? Be grateful, anywhere else in the animal kingdom, your parents would have eaten you at birth..

-Our bodies break down, sometimes when we are 90 years old, sometimes even before we are born, but it always happens and there is never dignity in that..

-Patients always want tests, we are not making cars here, we do not give guarantees.

-Treating diseases is why we became doctors, treating patients is why most doctors are miserable.

-Exams take time, treatment is faster.

-Almost all the drugs I prescribe are addictive and dangerous.

-The simplest explanation is almost always that someone has screwed up everything.

-I have never known a diagnostic study that I have not been able to disprove.

-Never trust the doctors.

-Let's heal her with sun and puppies!

-If it gets better, I'm right, if it dies, you're right.

-Tragedies happen.

-I miss it has always worked for me.

-Do you know what is worse than useless? Useless and unconscious.

-You are going to kill someone, if you can't handle that reality, choose another profession, or finish medical school and teach.

-I don't care about apologies.

-The most successful marriages are based on lies.

-Tell him I switched from tequila to bourbon. It worked for me.

-Welcome to the world, everyone is different, everyone is treated differently. If you try to fight it, you will end up dying of tuberculosis.

-If I'm in a lot of pain, I need a lot of pills.

-Errors are only as serious as the results they cause.

-Anomalies annoy me.

-Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?

-A psychic once told me that I'm psychic.

-Treatments don't always work, symptoms never lie.

-Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again.

-If i was kidding i'd be dressed like you.

-People do not change. For example, I will keep repeating "people do not change".

-Nobody wants to die. But you will die.

-There is no fine line between love and hate. In fact, between love and hate, there is a Great Wall of China with armed sentries every five meters.

-You may think I'm wrong, but that's not a reason for me to stop thinking.

-Humility is a very important quality. Especially if you mess up often. Of course, when you're right, doubting yourself doesn't help anyone, does it??

-The problem with these theories is that they are based on the assumption that the universe is only a place.

-What usually happens when you poke someone with a stick? It pricks you too.

-Dying people also lie. They wish they had worked less, been kinder, opened a puppy shelter. If you really want to do something, do it.

-Relax, I have news that will cheer you up. They are going to sue us!

-Dr. Wilson: Maybe it's autoimmune.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Maybe it's autoimmune.

Dr. Gregory House: If someone else says autoimmune, they're fired!!

-Unicorns are not unicorns, they are donkeys with a drain opener stuck in their heads.

-Dr. House: Trouble in Paradise at 2 o'clock.

Dr. Wilson: My 2 o'clock or your 2 o'clock?

Dr. House: Over there.

-Even a drunk with a talent for drama can make himself believe he's an angel.

-Technology is overrated.

-Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job.

-Dr. House: I am angry! You are risking the life of a patient.

Dr. Cuddy: I'm going to assume that those two points are unrelated..

-Dr. House: Everyone assumes I'm a cane patient..

Dr. Wilson: Why don't you wear a robe like the rest of us?

Dr. House: I don't want them to think I'm a doctor..

-Dr. Foreman: Don't we become doctors to treat patients?

Dr. House: No, we become doctors to treat diseases. Treating patients is what makes us miserable.

-What do you prefer a doctor who takes your hand while you die or one who ignores you while you improve? I guess it must be very bad to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.

-Nun: Sister Augustine believes in things that are not real.

Dr. House: I thought that was a requirement for you.

Sister Augustine: Why is it hard for you to believe in God?

Dr. House: What is difficult for me is the concept of beliefs. Faith is not based on logic or experience.

-You can have all the faith you want in spirits, in the afterlife, in heaven and on earth. If it's this world, don't be an idiot. You can tell me that your belief in God helps you survive, but you still look both ways before crossing the street..

-Ah, my birthday. Usually, I wear a festive hat and celebrate that the Earth turned the Sun one more time. I didn't think I was going to make it this year..

-Dr. House: As long as you try to be good, you will do what you want..

Dr. Wilson: As long as you don't try, you can say what you want.

Dr. House: Between the two of us, we can do whatever we want. We will rule the world.

-Dr. House: Mr. Adams, could you come out of the room for a moment??

Adams: Why?

Dr. House: Because it irritates me.

-Dr. House: It hurts.

John: Doesn't it hurt us all?

-Dr. Wilson: You don't have to know everything about everyone.

Dr. House: I don't have to watch The O. C., but it makes me happy.

-Dr. Wilson: Did your pager go off or are you trying to get out of the conversation??

Dr. House: Why can't they both be true??

-Dr. Wilson: In some cultures, spying on friends is considered rude. In Swedish, the word friend can also be translated as "limping person".

-Dr. Cuddy: You know? There are other ways to handle pain.

Dr. House: Like which ones? Laughter, meditation, some guy who can fix my third chakra?

-Dr. House: I said I was an addict, not that I had a problem. I pay my taxes, I prepare my meals. It worked.

Dr. Wilson: Is that what you want? You have no relationship.

Dr. Wilson: You push people away.

Dr. House: I've been pushing people away since I was three years old..

-Of course I have changed. Now I am older. My hair is sparser. Sometimes I'm bored, sometimes I'm lonely, sometimes I wonder what this all means.

-Dr. Chase: How would you feel if I interfered in your personal life?

Dr. House: I would hate it. That's why I don't have a personal life.

-Dr. House: What should I do?

Dr. Wilson: This is when I give you advice and you pretend to listen. I like this part.

-Dr. House: Do you value our friendship more than ethical responsibilities??

Dr. Wilson: Our friendship is an ethical responsibility.

-Carly: Why did you fight for me? You risked too much and you don't even know me.

-Dr. House: You're my patient, don't screw it up.

-Let's get to the point. You don't like me and I'm pretty sure I won't like you. It is not personal. I don't like nobody.

-Dr. Chase: You can trust me.

Dr. House: The problem is, if I can't trust you, I can't trust you to tell me I can trust you. Thank you anyway. You were of help.

-Dr. House: I need a lawyer.

Volger: Who did you kill?

Dr. House: Nobody, it's not even lunchtime.

-Doctor-patient confidentiality protects me from annoying conversations.

-Imagine that you find a solution where no one gets hurt. The problem is, the world doesn't work that way just because we want it to..

-Dr. House: I don't want to speak ill of another doctor, especially if he's a useless drunk..

Dr. Cuddy: You are addicted to painkillers..

Dr. House: But I'm not useless.

-Won't they give me bonus points if I act like I care?

Other phrases of interest

Sarcastic phrases

Funny quotes

Phrases of famous psychologists

Medicine phrases


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