The consequences of divorce Most important in children are the possibility of the appearance of psychological disorders, damaging personal relationships, creating feelings of guilt, imitating negative behaviors, inciting drug use, stress or causing worse academic performance.
Today, the separation and divorce of couples with children is very common and seems to be on the rise. This fact can have negative effects not only for the children but also for the parents themselves.
Although later we will talk about some consequences that exist specifically depending on the age of the minor when the separation occurs, we are going to break down below those that usually occur in a general way in children.
Children whose parents are separated or divorced are more likely to develop psychiatric disorders than those who live in a more complete and stable home.
A girl who grows up without a father may develop difficulties in her relationship with the boys or present inappropriate attempts to recover the lost father..
It also happens in the opposite case, although less frequently since it is normally the mothers who usually keep custody of the children..
Children can be exposed to the psychological trauma that precedes divorce and the conflictual interaction that occurs between parents after separation. It does not always necessarily condemn a psychological maladjustment.
On the other hand, the children of parents who are in conflict to distract their parents, can develop psychological symptoms in order to pay more attention to them..
Minors suffer from separation and may feel guilty without reason for their parents' marital problems. It is a fact that children are involved in the fights of their parents since they compete for their affection and their custody, among others.
Children, by constantly seeing that their parents are arguing and insulting each other on a daily basis, can begin to imitate the conflictive behaviors of their parents.
On the other hand, a possible response to what is happening and feeling is to begin to have disobedient or defiant behaviors that trigger behavior problems.
Specifically, children from single-parent families in charge of the mother, may present higher scores in aggressive behaviors, antisocial behavior, criminal behavior and alcohol and drug use.
In single-parent families, there are higher rates of drug use. Although it is true, it also depends on pressure from peers (friends or peers) and exposure to deviant models. Their relationship is usually stronger in adolescents who lack a father.
The child, being immersed in a world where parents are tense and argue and do not know why, can generate a lot of stress. This added to the behavioral problems caused by this fact causes the minor's problems to increase considerably.
The child does not understand why his parents have separated, so he will try by all means to make everything go back to the way it was before or at least maintain a frequent communication relationship.
At times, the child may be resentful of the parent who is left in their care at home, while the other parent has left..
This in his head has those feelings towards the parent who has remained in his charge, since he blames him for causing the departure of the other. Normally in most cases, it is usually towards the mother since they are the ones who get custody most of the time.
As in the case of the parent who has been left in charge of the minor, he or she will also show resentment towards the one who has left home for the fact that they have left.
In these cases, this may be because the child still does not understand what is happening and thinks that his father or mother has abandoned him. As we will see later, they tend to think that it was their fault..
Once the parents have separated, they unconsciously make their children act as messengers between them. This can negatively affect the minor since they are being given responsibilities that are not appropriate for their age and can be influenced by one of the parents.
Compared to intact homes, children of separated families begin sexual activities at an earlier age. On the other hand, girls are more likely to become pregnant at a young age.
Due to the separation of their parents, the children present higher school absenteeism as well as lower motivation to learn. This will lead to some not even completing compulsory education.
Depending on the age group at which it occurs, we can also talk about individual consequences for each of them. However, as is logical, we cannot pigeonhole the consequences of each of these, since there will be many that also occur in one or the other regardless of age.
Children see, hear, hear and feel. Therefore, if he finds that the parent who spends more time with him feels nervous or distressed and even cries in front of him. By not knowing what is happening, he may reflect the concern of the father or mother who is caring for him.
Due to their age and the worry that the whole divorce process triggers, they will need more attention to fill the void and overcome the stress and sadness that they present.
Some children, due to the stress and anxiety they have suffered during the divorce stage, may experience regression in their development. This can be seen, for example, in children who at a certain age should talk or walk and do not..
Irritability, crying, fear, separation anxiety, sleep problems, aggressive behavior, among others.
Due to this, they can act in two ways: behaving very obediently at home or on the contrary, extremely aggressive.
A defense mechanism that they usually have in the face of these events is to deny the breakup of their parents and act as if nothing happened. For this reason, they ask about the father who is absent as if he were going to come back even though he has been explained what happens several times.
At times, they may idealize the father who is not at home or even show their rejection of him, refusing to want to see him or enjoy his company.
They present ambivalent feelings between affections and rejection due to the situation they live at that moment and especially because they have to choose, since at this age they are already asked who they want to be with.
They also tend to present anger, sadness and homesickness that affect their school performance. Even if they know what is happening, it is difficult for them to assimilate it.
He feels that his family has been broken, so he blames the parents for everything that happened and they often feel lost and afraid.
Due to the above and the stage of development in which they are, they will present high levels of aggressiveness and disobedience that, if not controlled properly, will incite the minor to use drugs, among others..
Depending on the child's personality, another way to deal with the situation will be to isolate himself from the world around him and turn to things that he likes and makes him feel good to forget what is happening.
On the other hand, compared to intact families, children who are raised in single-parent families have a high rate of starting to have sex at an earlier age than the rest. Maybe it is because of the feeling of emptiness and abandonment that they can feel.
Due to emotional and behavioral lack of control, together with the consumption of legal and illegal substances, the minor can carry out criminal activities to capture the attention of their parents or simply to fit into a group and be supported.
There is also the possibility that adolescents may suffer depression due to separation from their parents, this will depend on their personality and temperament.
Although we have briefly developed some consequences that children can present due to the divorce of their parents, both generally and based on age ranges. We have to keep in mind that each one faces this fact differently due to their personality and temperament.
Therefore, not all children will present all the consequences that we have exposed here in the same way, nor do all those who go through a divorce process have to be so affected by this fact.
For children, the divorce process is still a traumatic event that can even mark a before and after in their lives. However, it is up to the parents to make this happen or, on the contrary, to minimize its consequences as much as possible..
Here are some general recommendations that can help you prevent your child from suffering more than he should:
It would be advisable to agree on the parenting guidelines that will be followed from now on with your partner, so that there is a stable environment and not harm the mental and physical development of the child.
Trying to avoid these types of actions will lower the level of anxiety not only in your child but also in the family in general..
What other consequences of divorce do you know?
Yet No Comments