When talking about direct and indirect speech jokes reference is being made to the way the announcer expresses himself when narrating the humorous story he tells.
In direct speech, the acting or dialogue of the characters that intervene is expressed through the use of scripts, while in indirect speech the joke is told by a narrator, without describing the interaction between the characters in a textual way..
Both types of speeches are widely used in the making of jokes and have some particular characteristics when they are presented.
For example, in direct speech the identification of the participation of the characters is used with emphasis; the use of question marks, exclamation marks and the use of quotation marks help to achieve this.
María and Luisa are two nurses who meet in the corridor of a hospital
-Luisa, how are you? Where are you headed with that thermometer?
-What thermometer? I don't wear any.
-The one you wear in the bun.
-If I have the thermometer there, where have I left the pencil?
-Mom, don't insist, I'm not going to school today!
-But you have to go, it's your obligation.
-Mom, give me a compelling reason why I should go to school today.
-Because you are the director.
Jaimito's teacher assigns him a homework for the next day, when he gets to class:
-Good morning, we will begin to review the homework. Let's see, Juanita, your homework.
-Here it is, teacher, it's a forest with a little squirrel and some birds.
-Very good, Juanita, very beautiful. Let's see you, Rafael, the homework.
-Here I have her teacher, it is a desert with cacti and snakes.
-And you, Jaimito? Your homework?
-Here I have it, teacher (hands over a blank sheet).
-What is this, Jaimito? It is blank!
-Look, teacher, this is a cow eating grass.
-And where is the grass Jaimito?
-The cow ate it.
-And where is the cow?
-He ate the grass, and when it was over he went to look for more.
Two cucumbers meet on the road and see a tomato pass by.
-Shall we invite him for coffee?
-No he only drinks tea.
A man enters an employment agency.
-Do you have any job for me?
-Could be. Are you interested as a gardener?
-How to leave money? But if what I need is to have money!
A friend calls another on a cell phone and asks:
-Where are you pepe?
-I'll tell you in three words: sun, sand and soda.
-Are you on the beach?
-No, I'm at work: I'm a bricklayer!
A captain to his soldier:
-Private Ramirez.
-Yes my captain say.
-Yesterday I did not see him in the camouflage test.
-Thank you my captain.
Jaimito goes to the library to ask for a book:
-Please, I want a book of intrigues, which one do you recommend?
-There is a very good one in which there is a man who murders his wife, children and dog, and the police cannot find out who he is..
-And what is the name of the book?
-The book is called The murderous butler.
A teacher asks a student in class:
-Let's see, Pepito, how many eyes do we have?
-I tell you, let me think ... Four eyes, professor.
-What do you mean four eyes, Pepito?
-Yes, professor, we have four eyes. You have 2 and I have 2.
Two vampires fly across the sky:
-What is your name?
-Vampi.
-Vampi what?
-Vampi Rito. And what's your name?
-Otto.
-Otto what?
-Otto Vampirito.
A cat was walking on a roof howling:
-Meow meow.
Another cat comes up and says:
-Wow wow!
The first missed cat tells him:
-Hey, why are you barking if you are a cat?
And the other answers:
-Is it that one cannot learn languages?
Two animals meet in the jungle and one says to the other:
-Note that I am a wolfdog, because my father was a dog and my mother a wolf. And you?
-Well I'm an anteater.
Two fools prepare for Christmas:
-Let's put lights on the tree! Let me know if they turn on the lights.
-Yes ... no ... yes ... no
A judge promises to be lenient for Christmas and asks the defendant:
-Tell me, what are you accused of?
-Having done your Christmas shopping in advance.
-But man, that's not a crime. How far in advance did you shop?
-Before the stores opened, Mr. Judge.
A girl is doing her homework and asks her mother:
-Mom, Mom, how do you spell bell?
-Bell is written as it sounds.
-So I write "talán-talán"?
-Mama, mama, at school they call me guacamole
-Shut up nacho.
-Love, you no longer listen to me when I speak to you.
-Anything, I don't have much of an appetite.
-Hello, I was coming because I want my eyesight to be graduated.
-Well you do well because this is a hardware store.
A man walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the seller:
-Hello, what flavors do the ice cream have?
-In that the poster you can see all the flavors that we have.
-Then give me a small cone, we close on Mondays.
-Maria, have you ever been to a maze?
-Not.
-Well you do not know what you're missing.
A doctor asks his patient if he has followed the advice of sleeping with the window open to improve his asthma, to which the patient responds that the asthma remains the same, what has disappeared is the clock, the television and the computer.
Two friends meet on the street and one of them tells the other that he has bought a very nice watch. With great curiosity, the friend asks what mark, and the man replies that it marks the time.
This was a man so small but so small, that he passed in front of a pastry shop, his mouth watered and he drowned.
He was a slow man but very slow, so slow that when he tried to grab snails they escaped from their hands.
She was such a thin but so thin woman that she wore a 100-striped dress and had 99 left over..
Two friends are in a row at the cinema and one of them comments that his wife has been on a diet for 4 weeks. The other friend asks how much he has lost and the first one answers that only 3 weeks.
A friend tells another that Beethoven's Fifth Symphony was dedicated to Beethoven's father. The other friend asks him how he knew that. The friend tells him that it is obvious because it begins "for papaa ...".
A woman goes to a fortune teller and tells him that she wants to know the future, to which the fortune teller asks which verb.
He was such a small child that he once climbed on a marble and thought he had conquered the world.
A patient tells a doctor that he feels bad. The doctor replies that he feels fine.
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