5 Keys to Coping with Anxiety

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Robert Johnston
5 Keys to Coping with Anxiety

Anxiety is a state of discomfort, anguish and restlessness maintained over time that is associated, on the one hand, on a psychological level with stress, uncertainty and / or worries and, on the other hand, on an emotional level, with fear.

That is why almost all phobias (fear disorders) are characterized by presenting to a greater or lesser extent anxiety pictures before the corresponding object or situation that raises the phobia itself, although to be strict we must differentiate between a phobia and an anxiety disorder.

In any case, it should be noted that offering a generic definition for anxiety is a somewhat complex task, since there are different types and also other psychological disorders that are associated with it, with which its variants are also very numerous.

However, if there is a characteristic that seems to be common in any anxiety process, it is the feedback between the mental, the emotional and the physical. It is a very harmful loop for the individual in which a certain thought (in the form, for example, of concern) generates a emotion (usually fear) which in turn triggers a certain biological response (for example, sweating or increased heart rate).

This physical change, in turn, produces an increase in fear that, almost automatically, causes a greater degree of mental worry, thus originating this spiral of increasing suffering, which we finally call anxiety and, from which, sometimes, it is very difficult to get out.

Another characteristic that we can usually find in anxiety disorders is the fact that they are very often related to negative thoughts about possible future events of consequences, let's call them, "catastrophic”For the affected person. This circumstance leads the person to experience a kind of imperative need for control, sometimes even giving rise to true obsessive thoughts..

In this article I would like to share some general keys that I think can help when facing an anxiety process.

However, it should be remembered once again that it is sometimes highly recommended, I would almost say necessary, have professional help since throughout life there may be situations or circumstances that exceed us, in the face of which we feel that we do not have the necessary resources to give them an answer and in which having the support of a therapist can greatly facilitate the path.

In any case, here are these five keys in case they can be useful:

Relax

In the first place, it is essential to know how to stop the growing state of nervousness (which can physically lead us to a feeling of agitation or blockage) resulting from fear or worry..

This, from the outset, may seem like a very complicated task and almost beyond the voluntary scope of the individual, since the person who is involved in the maelstrom of anxiety usually usually perceives that he cannot exert any control over it since, as we have said, it looks unable to escape your web of thoughts and emotions.

However, the truth is that it is possible to positively influence our state of mind. One of the easiest and fastest ways to calm your emotions and calm your mind is through the body.

To do this, an excellent way that I know and recommend is to get keep your attention on your breath trying to maintain a rhythm as calm as possible.

To achieve this, it can be very useful to use the support of resources such as relaxations and / or guided meditations, easily available on the Internet. However, there are other varied strategies that can be used to induce a state of relaxation in the body, such as, for example, through the practice of some physical or creative activity.

To accept

The second step, once we have reached a state of greater calm, is that of the acceptance of our own present experience.

Give up all effort to go against anxiety, understanding that once it has been triggered, it is already taking place. With which, all our efforts to avoid it will be fruitless and even counterproductive.

In this way, if, for example, we are feeling fear, no matter how much we voluntarily deny it, we will continue to feel it. And if something worries us, that same thing will continue to worry us no matter how hard we try otherwise..

In fact, paradoxically, it may happen that the more we try to avoid experiencing anxiety from “non-acceptance”, it is when it increases the most in us, since being unable to reach our goal it may happen that our anguish increases, winding up thus to this kind of vicious circle.

Thus, it is precisely at the same moment that we abandon our struggle to repress anxiety that we begin to feel its effects diminish..

In this way, instead of putting all our effort into rejecting what happens to us, we must be able to accept what is happening to us to achieve an attitude at the disposal of being able to transcend it.

Understand

Once we have managed to be more relaxed and accept what is happening to us, the moment of understanding arrives. Understand that anxiety is the result of a natural defense mechanism of the human being.

The essential function of anxiety is to keep us alert to the warning of a certain danger. This level of understanding is important to prevent us from thinking that we are "weird bugs" and, far from it, punish ourselves for feeling what we feel.

Therefore, at a moderate level, anxiety should not be valued as something negative, far from it, since it helps us to take precautions (the problem is when this psychological mechanism is beyond our control).

Now, in the same way, we must be able to go a little further and know how to assess whether the threat in question is real or imaginary..

Understanding by "real"An objective danger with a high degree of probability (for example, if the Human Resources department of our company has raised the possibility of dismissing us imminently), and by"imaginary”A subjective and more or less improbable danger (for example, if we convince ourselves that we are going to be fired from work because we believe that we will not be able to successfully carry out a new project that has not even been proposed to us yet).

It is very important to know how to make this distinction between real and imaginary, since anxiety is often triggered by imaginary dangers (i.e. highly unlikely). Understanding this mechanism can help us a lot to start putting things in their place and assessing them in their proper measure. And also to act in some way, if it really is convenient.

However, it may also be the case that anxiety is triggered without our being able to specifically notice any reason..

In such a case, the compression in principle would simply go through the aacceptance of one's own emotions and present circumstances, allowing us to take the necessary space to cultivate calm and serenity. In any case, if we see that this type of nonspecific anxiety and without apparent causes is activated repeatedly over time, it is advisable to consult with a health professional, to rule out other possible pathologies.

Relativize

Once we understand what happens to us, it is time to relativize our own point of view, understanding that our way of thinking and understanding reality - and therefore also of feeling - is completely subjective and, therefore, susceptible to being wrong or, at least, to commit errors of some kind (of appreciation, assessment, interpretation, importance, etc.).

This step can be relatively simple to carry out if before we have been able to detect and adequately assess the danger or threat that has triggered our anxiety, since even if the danger was “real”(Using the classification that we have used in the previous point), the truth is that we are practically never completely correct regarding its true repercussion.

In fact, if we make the effort to remember some concerns that we have had in the past, we can easily check how almost always finally our fears never came true. And if they did take place, in the end they did not happen as we imagined. And even so, most of the time they did not lead to such disastrous consequences as we initially imagined ...

However, it is also important to note at this point that, unfortunately, as we know, there are times in life when we finally have to face tragic, difficult or traumatic events. Even in this context, the way in which we are able to face them, the attitude regarding our "internal dialogue", is fundamental..

In this way, if we are able to question our own thoughts, we open ourselves to the possibility of contemplating things from a different perspective, much more neutral and, therefore, without evoking so much fear or suffering..

Take responsibility

Finally, the last key that I would like to share once this entire journey has been completed, is to take responsibility for the things that happen to us. This step is surely the most important of all and, perhaps, the most complicated. Responsibility is directly related to humility and trust. Humility in the sense of understanding and accepting that, no matter how much we want to, we are unable to control and harbor absolute certainties about the future, that we do not have the answers about everything that is going to happen and that things do not have to happen just as we imagine them (whether we like it or not). And trust in the most existential sense of the expression, understanding that life does not have to go against us ... In fact, on many occasions we are ourselves (that yes, unconsciously) the only ones who go against us, putting obstacles unnecessary in our own way.

Thus, the responsibility is to understand that when the time comes (if it ever comes) we will be able to act in the best possible way and that, in the meantime, we ourselves are solely responsible for feeling what we feel and thinking what we think, regardless of any other considerations.

And that often, much more important than the thing itself, is the way we respond to it. In fact, under any circumstance (even the most negative that we can think of), the attitude with which we face it is fundamental, as it is well expressed from one of the most important Buddhist principles: "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional".


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