5 wounds that prevent you from enjoying your true self

Has it ever happened to you that you feel like you don't fit in?

Are there problems that you thought were solved and after a while they reappear? Maybe you don't know how to use the correct approach to overcome some situations.

The personal growth expert Lise Bourbeau, with her book "the five wounds that prevent being oneself" shows us that all physical, emotional or mental problems come from five important sources of pain in childhood: rejection, abandonment , humiliation, betrayal and injustice. Thanks to the carefully detailed description of these internal wounds, and the masks that we have designed in order not to see or feel, it is possible to identify the true cause of a certain problem in our life..

Lise Bourbeau defines 5 main wounds that correspond in turn to 5 masks: rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice. Corresponding to these 5 wounds, there are the following 5 masks: the fugitive, the dependent, the masochist, the dominator, and the rigid.

Contents

• Rejection wound
• Wound of abandonment
• Hurt of humiliation
• Betrayal wound
• Wound of injustice
• The fugitive
  • Body Type
• Dependent
  • Body Type
• The Masochist
  • Body Type
• The Dominator
  • Body Type
• The Rigid
  • Body Type
  • References

Rejection wound

The adult who has this wound lived experiences of rejection in his childhood and will tend to reject himself and others, he will also reject pleasant and successful experiences due to the deep feeling of internal emptiness and for having the erroneous belief of being "undeserving" . He blames others for being rejected and without being aware of it, it is he who isolates himself thus creating his vicious circle.

Wound of abandonment

Loneliness becomes the worst fear of those who experienced abandonment in childhood. And his wound becomes his paradox: “Whoever experienced abandonment will tend to abandon projects and couples, until they become aware of their lack and become responsible for their life and loneliness. And think: "I abandon you, before being abandoned by you".

Hurt of humiliation

Adults who had experiences of all kinds of abuse, including sexual abuse, or experienced humiliation, comparisons or were ridiculed, shamed for their physical appearance, for their attitudes and / or behaviors during their childhood, often carry this burden on their shoulders and the Most of the time they are insecure, timid and indecisive beings who in the depths of their being feel guilty and do not believe they have elemental rights, and may even doubt their right to exist.

Betrayal wound

The adult with a betrayal wound will be an inveterate distrustful one, since he does not allow himself to trust anything or anyone. His greatest fear is lies and he will unconsciously seek to get involved in situations in which he will be irretrievably betrayed. Fulfilling the prophecy that he himself decreed: "Trust no one, everyone betrays you." Most of those who experience jealousy had experiences of betrayal in their childhood.

Wound of injustice

Experiencing inequity is the worst anger of those who are injured by injustice, and it is possible to identify those who have experienced it in their childhood by observing the disproportionate and neurotic reactions to some unfair situation. All people at some point have lived or witnessed unfair situations, however those who have the injury find it impossible to deal with it and their reactions tend to self-destruction. One of the most important characteristics is their great fear of being wrong and their tendency to seek perfection, which brings them a lot of frustration and their great challenge to heal is to seek flexibility and humility..

These masks define you physically and emotionally, do you want to know how? Below you have a list of the main characteristics, they do not have to be all in the same type, but most of them.

The fugitive

• Prefers the spiritual world, literature, fantasies
• You are a perfectionist and suspect that if you make a mistake you will be rejected
• Believe deep down that you are unworthy (at least in part) to be in the world
• It is believed to be of little value
• Is usually thin, does not have the patience to eat, or lacks appetite
• In social situations it becomes invisible
• He likes loneliness, fearing that if people see him, they will be judged for his behavior and reject him
• Avoid people's attention

Body Type

Dependent

• You don't believe in yourself and expect others to constantly support you
• You think you are a victim
• He cannot make decisions on his own, he always asks for advice and confirmations
• Usually has the voice of a child
• His main emotion is sadness
• You do everything other people want so they don't reject you
• Likes sex and uses her skills to keep a relationship together
• Constantly seek attention and approval
• Loneliness is your greatest fear
• You frequently change your moods

Body Type

The Masochist

• He is ashamed of himself or other people, which is why he tends to hide
• He is obsessed with cleanliness, perfect clothes and the way he looks, so that other people don't look down on him
• Hide events in your life that seem humiliating
• Does not tend to adequately meet your needs
• Believes inferior to other people
• He is easily hurt by criticism and feels humiliated
• His greatest fear is freedom
• You attract people who make you feel humiliated. A woman can attract a man who flirts with other women, a man can attract a woman who is very provocative to other men.
• They voluntarily help people, but end up becoming their "servants", because they believe that helping people will make them value them more.
• He punishes himself in hopes of punishing his humiliator
• Look for situations where he can forget himself
• You overeat to make up for missing things

Body Type

The Dominator

• He thinks he is very strong and has a lot of responsibilities
• You want to be perceived as strong and special. He is always talking about himself and his achievements.
• Has a hard time keeping promises
• Gets angry easily
• It is seductive and manipulative
• Take power and make others feel weak
• Easily change your mood
• Believes that he owns the truth and imposes it on others as well
• Is intolerant
• Strives to have their performances valued
• Don't accept your vulnerabilities
• He does not know how to confess his mistakes

Body Type

The Rigid

• Strives to always be correct
• Is obsessed with justice
• Block their feelings
• Cross your arms frequently
• He likes cleanliness and discipline
• He is intolerant of mistakes
• His voice is flat and unyielding
• He does not admit that he has problems
• It is difficult for him to welcome people, he prefers to be alone
• When you enjoy yourself, you feel guilty
• Has high expectations of himself and crosses his limits
• It is sensitive but develops a control over sensitivity so that it can be perceived as strong

Body Type

According to Lise Bourbeau, although we use these masks in a childish attempt to protect ourselves, paradoxically we attract the exact situations and people we need to feel rejected, abandoned, humiliated, betrayed or with injustice..

Luckily, healing our wounds and getting out of these masks is possible if:

• We recognize the wound (s) and the mask (s) we wear
• We forgive ourselves and the people who hurt us
• We begin to accept and love ourselves as we are

I hope you are not sad because you have already identified your wound and your mask, because all this surely triggers some memories and emotions. Above all, do not be obsessed with this new found identity. You already know how you are, so cheer up, love yourself today, tomorrow and always… unconditionally. This is the best medicine.

References

• Boureau, L. The five wounds that prevent being oneself. Ed. OS Stare. 2014
• Boureau, L. Listen to your body, it is your best friend on earth. Ed. Sirio. 2016