The acceptance by others It is one of the basic needs of every human being. Because we are social animals, belonging to a group in which we feel valued is fundamental to our psychological well-being..
Within Maslow's hierarchy of needs, acceptance by others is at the third level. Ahead of it appear only biological requirements such as food or sleep, and the search for security and stability.
Being such an important need for human well-being, seeking acceptance from others can cause some people to behave in unhelpful or even harmful ways. Thus, for example, many young people start drinking alcohol or smoking just to be accepted by their group.
However, the pursuit of social acceptance can also bring many benefits to people's lives, as long as the people we care about are chosen carefully and not taken to extremes. In this article we will see some characteristics of this basic need.
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Acceptance by others can take many different forms. However, it is generally classified into three types: conditional, implicit, and explicit..
Conditional acceptance is one in which a person receives support from others only to the extent that they meet a series of conditions or requirements. At the moment in which these change or cease to be fulfilled, the reference group will abandon the individual.
Conditional acceptance can provide some of the positive feelings necessary for adequate emotional and psychological well-being.
However, if a person bases his social relationships only on this type, he will never be completely at ease with the group to which he belongs..
Consciously or unconsciously, the individual realizes that his friends or acquaintances are only with him because of what he brings them. Therefore, it is very likely that you will feel some type of anxiety or fear of losing them if you change the way you act.
In this way, conditional acceptance can become toxic very easily. The person can choose not to change certain behaviors that are harmful to himself, in order not to lose the approval of others.
This type of acceptance is very common, but it occurs especially in relationships formed during adolescence..
The implicit acceptance appears when a person feels that he is integrated within his reference group, but does not have a direct confirmation on the part of the members of the same. In general, the emotions caused by this type of acceptance are much more positive than those that occur with the conditional.
However, while for most people it is more than enough to feel implicitly accepted, some individuals need direct confirmation of their status within the group to be completely at ease..
This occurs, above all, in the case of those who have a lower self-esteem or have insecurity problems.
For these people, implicit approval is never clear, and intrusive thoughts and recurring doubts may arise about whether or not others really accept them..
Most human relationships are based on this level of acceptance..
The last level of approval by others occurs when the reference group expresses directly that they are comfortable with a person. Thus, the individual feels validated to the extreme, without generally producing feelings of insecurity of any kind.
In general, this acceptance has to be made verbally to be considered implicit. However, they may express themselves in other ways, such as by making gestures that show affection towards the person.
Not many people are able to express their approval for another explicitly. Therefore, this last level is usually only common among those who have developed skills such as assertiveness or emotional communication..
Acceptance by others, being one of the most basic human needs, is essential for a person to live a happy life and enjoy good emotional and even physical health..
Thus, studies with primates have shown that if an individual is isolated from infancy, they are more likely to suffer from all kinds of diseases and to die much earlier than normal.
On the other hand, on a psychological level, people who are not accepted by others in the most vulnerable stages of their development may end up suffering from pathologies such as depression or anxiety. A direct relationship has even been found between social isolation and antisocial behaviors.
However, to benefit from the positive effects of approval by others, it is not necessary for everyone to make us feel valued. On the contrary, it is enough just to have a reference group in which we feel comfortable and that accepts us unconditionally.
Thus, an out-of-control need for approval can lead an individual to develop harmful behaviors and behaviors. Therefore, the balance can end up being more negative than positive if this facet of human psychology is not controlled..
Next we will see two examples of behaviors that seek to achieve acceptance by others.
One of the most serious problems in the search for social approval is the performance of dangerous behaviors to feel the acceptance of a specific group.
This, which occurs especially among the youngest, can lead many individuals to have problems for doing something that they really did not want to do..
Thus, for example, we can find adolescents who drive after drinking, using drugs or practicing unsafe sex just to avoid feeling rejected by their reference group.
At the other extreme, many people decide to try to achieve a goal to get approval from other people..
This may involve, for example, starting to go to the gym, dressing better, or studying for a career so that we don't feel left out when everyone else is..
As you can see, the search for acceptance by others does not have to be good or bad. The consequences can be negative or positive depending on what it specifically translates into.
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