Learning social skills to prevent violence

Philip Kelley
Learning social skills to prevent violence

Social Skills are the set of specific responses, associated with generally learned stimuli or situations and that are expressed in competencies for a good management of interpersonal relationships, leadership, tolerance and solidarity.

We can say that Social Skills are:

  • Behaviors rewarded and valued by others.
  • Forms of interaction that generate personal benefits and for others.
  • Verbal and non-verbal behaviors that influence the responses of others.
  • Goal-oriented and learnable responses.
  • Abilities to generate desirable responses in others.


  • Importance of Social Skills
    • Social skills at home
    • Social skills in the classroom
    • Social skills at work
  • Types of Social Skills
    • Basic social skills
    • Advanced social skills
    • Social skills and feelings
    • Social skills and aggressiveness
  • How to develop Social Skills to avoid violence
    • Do not hurt
    • Understand
    • Reconcile
  • Guidelines for Parents: Improving Your Social Interaction
    • Conclusions

Importance of Social Skills

Social skills at home

  • They promote contact between family members with affectionate, open, empathetic and trusting interactions.
  • They promote social skills at home, it is to promote an adequate development of self-esteem in their members.
  • They stimulate in families, cohesion (emotional bond and autonomy) and adaptability (ability to cope with stressful events and continuous changes).

Social skills in the classroom

  • They facilitate social integration to meaningful learning experiences.
  • The student with social skills is active and interactive, builds their own knowledge, is academically motivated and improves their knowledge skills obtaining higher performance.
  • Without social skills, the student has poor communication, low academic self-esteem, and negative responses such as aggressiveness, rejection, and fear, which hinder their performance.

Social skills at work

  • Relating well with others, being understanding and influential generate effective and efficient work behaviors.
  • Social competencies such as issuing clear messages, convincing, leading and persuading, and knowing how to collaborate are skills inherent to effective productive work teams..
  • Ability to work as a team to achieve goals. They motivate, influence, directing favorable changes for an organization.
  • The most competent and socially valued workers maintain the success of organizations, are capable of conciliating, negotiating, creating and resolving conflicts. They are "stars" of the organization.

And at all times: Good greetings, mutual respect, correct behavior according to the occasion that warrants it, handling of verbal and non-verbal communication, clear and cordial language, safe and reliable attitudes, knowing how to apologize and offer condolences, accept the defeats, face difficulties, value triumphs without humiliating, understand those who suffer, etc..

Types of Social Skills

Basic social skills

  • Listen carefully and actively.
  • Say hello and reply to greetings.
  • Start and hold a conversation.
  • Ask a question.
  • Give the thanks".
  • Introduce yourself to other people.
  • Give a compliment.

Advanced social skills

  • Ask for help.
  • Take part.
  • Give instructions.
  • Have your own initiative.
  • Apologize.
  • Convincing others without manipulating.
  • Make and accept constructive criticism.

Social skills and feelings

  • Know your own feelings.
  • Express feelings.
  • Understand the feelings of others.
  • Coping with the anger of another.
  • Express affection.
  • Resolve fear.
  • Self-reward.
  • Forgive and forgive yourself.

Social skills and aggressiveness

  • Ask permission.
  • Share something.
  • Help others.
  • Negotiate.
  • Start self-control.
  • Defend own rights.
  • Respond to jokes.
  • Avoid problems with others.
  • Not get into fights.

How to develop Social Skills to avoid violence

Do not hurt

  • Dare to say no.
  • Express without attacking.
  • State criticism clearly.
  • Express acceptance and appreciation in a timely manner.
  • Praise with spontaneity and positive feelings.
  • Make demands, points of view and need for help.
  • Knowing how to intervene when the moment requires it.
  • Respect the opinion of others even if you do not share them.


  • Record and understand the emotions of others.
  • Know how to interpret the motivations of others.
  • Identify with the perspective of others, their own emotions and opinions.
  • Interpret someone's unexpressed feelings through facial expression, voice and other non-verbal cues.
  • Maintain an emotional tune with others.


  • Know how to persuade without deception and malicious intent.
  • Handle situations without manipulation.
  • Use creativity, respect and logic appropriately.
  • Have the ability to consider the interests of others.
  • Create an environment in which everyone is respected
  • Be authentic, flexible and honest.
  • Use your power of confidence to make decisions and solve problems.

Guidelines for Parents: Improving Your Social Interaction

  • Smile, show courtesy and kindness, reinforce your activities, cooperate and share.
  • Encourage making friends and friends.
  • Generate group conversations in your family.
  • Be a role model for your children.
  • Hold and culminate conversations with your children.
  • Express and receive positive emotions.
  • Help express positive opinions and self-affirmations.
  • Encourage the search for solutions to problems without arguing.
  • Facilitate anticipation of consequences.
  • Reinforce courtesy at home, the right requests for help.


  • Let's learn to know each other better.
  • Let's learn to know and love each other
  • Let's learn to be with others.
  • Let's learn to communicate properly.
  • Let's master non-verbal communication.
  • Let's find solutions to a problem.
  • Let's learn to manage ourselves.


Developing Social Skills is of fundamental importance for a healthy psychological adaptation at all ages and in all places and times.

Clinical-occupational psychologist U. Ricardo Palma. Lima Peru


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