Self-demand has both advantages and disadvantages. If you are self-demanding, you will strive with an intensity above the average to achieve your goals. That is the positive part.
On the other hand, self-demand can lead you to give up any activity soon if you do not immediately obtain the expected results. Here we find the negative part.
However, the fact that you do not see the results does not mean that the results are not there. On many occasions your progress is perfectly positive but the fact of being so self-demanding prevents you from becoming aware of the path you have traveled.
Self-demand is like a bandage that covers your eyes and prevents you from seeing what your progress has been since for you that progress is never enough. You think that what you have done does not even deserve to be called "progress". Anyone else in your place would be very satisfied with their achievements.
However, you prefer to take away all the credit and think that with the amount of time you have invested in that activity, you should have done much better. This thought can lead you to abandon the activity that you started with so much enthusiasm. The funny thing is that this lack of motivation has nothing to do with laziness. In reality it has arisen as a result of our self-demand.
It is possible that you feel identified with something from the previous paragraph. I fully identify myself. Self-demand constantly accompanies me day after day. However, time has taught me to handle it and not to let it dominate me.
Next I will try to share some tips that will help you remove the bandage of self-demand and learn to assess the progress you have made in a certain activity.
You must learn that when carrying out a certain activity there are 4 levels of knowledge:
It means that you ignore what you do not know. Today paddle tennis is a fashionable sport, however a few years ago nobody even knew of its existence. It is a clear example of Unconscious Unawareness.
You are aware of your ignorance towards a certain activity. Continuing with the example of paddle tennis: now you know that there is a sport called paddle tennis but you have no idea what its rules are or how to play. That is: "you know you don't know".
This is where you start striving to learn that new technique. The clearest example is when we learn to drive. Driving is such a new activity that we must concentrate on knowing which gear to put in at any given moment or when to step on the clutch.
This is the highest level of learning. Once you have reached this level, the automatisms will have been generated that allow you to lose consciousness about the activity you are doing. If you have a driving license for several years, you enter the gears automatically. With unconscious knowledge "you don't know what you know".
When you feel that you are not making enough progress in a certain activity, think about these 4 levels. Try to identify what level you are at and analyze the time it took you to jump from one level to another. If you are not yet an expert in a certain activity, the normal thing is that you are between levels B and C.
If these levels are insufficient for you, you must create sublevels. The sublevels are nothing more than exemplifying with concrete actions what our progress is being. I will explain the concept of sublevels with an activity that I am starting at the moment: Mountain Bike.
Here are all the activities that I know exist but I have not yet learned to carry out: change a wheel, grease the chain, choose the right clothes depending on the day, know how to choose which are the best brands of accessories for the bike, etc..
I have not yet learned enough to have generated automatisms that have allowed me to jump to this level. However, I am sure that in a short time the example set in C1 with the ascent of the slope will have been transformed into D1. That is, I will be able to go up a hill by automatically selecting the most suitable gear without being aware of it..
Even if you think that your progress is not being as positive as you would like, try to make a mental effort and remember what your perspective of the activity was like before you started learning it..
It is about doing a mental regression to a point in time in the past in which we had no knowledge of said activity. Try to remember your first day with that activity. The feelings you had. What were your thoughts. What expectations did you have about that new activity that you were about to learn?.
The deeper your concentration, the more things you can remember. The objective is that you remember the great degree of ignorance that you had at that moment and compare it with your current degree of knowledge. If you manage to make that comparison with your "me from the past" you will become aware of the long road traveled in your learning process until you reach the present moment..
If it is very difficult for you to reach the point of concentration to perform mental regression, you can compare yourself with the level technique. That is, we take a pencil and paper and write down all the conclusions about the levels and sublevels. After a couple of months, we will repeat the analysis on a new sheet that we will compare with the previous one..
Comparing your learning with that of other people who have been doing the same activity for a similar amount of time can help you assess your progress.
If you consider that your progress is being superior, you will be motivated by the awareness of being on the right path. If, on the other hand, you think that your progress is being inferior, you will strive to increase it.
One way or another, comparing yourself to third parties will bring you positive consequences as long as you are aware of your own limitations. Not being aware of our limits can lead to disappointment. Personally I prefer to compare myself with my "me from the past", if this is not enough then I compare myself with third parties.
Put your ego aside and try to get honest criticism from those around you. Ask them how they think you're doing. They should honestly tell you how they evaluate your learning. You will be surprised by the fact that most of the time you ask for an opinion you will receive a much more positive review than the one you assign yourself.
Being aware of how they see you from the outside will make you reflect and value your learning.
I hope some of these techniques help you assess the progress you are making in anything. No matter how small that progress is always positive. Any step forward is a step well taken. The important thing is to stay motivated so as not to abandon the activity that we have started.
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