Jealousy, couples and social networks

Anthony Golden
Jealousy, couples and social networks

Social media changed the way young people communicate and relate.

I wonder if on social media we really show who we are or create an ideal identity that is just the best part of ourselves. It occurs to me that like the moon, we all show our best face.

Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat have become "indispensable" in the day-to-day life of many adolescents and few of them give up having a presence in any of these networks.


  • Who writes to you? Who likes you?
  • What is Stalkear
  • Beware of excess control
  • Jealousy in the couple
  • Signs to realize that your autonomy of decision is in dangerĀ 

Who writes to you? Who likes you?

Almost all people who are in a relationship have at some time gone through the situation of having to give explanations for their actions on the Internet or that are related to technology. It is usually resolved with a couple of explanations, but it may happen that some persecute each other and become stalkers, looking day and night for virtual evidence to corroborate that the other is lying. As the saying goes: in the mouth of a liar, the truth becomes doubtful.

The way it can affect the real and the virtual, dimension the sensation that a person can experience every day in front of their computer or cell phone and everything that is displayed there. New and different ways of spying and being spied on.

What is Stalkear

Stalkear is a word that is increasingly popular and used in our language, but it derives from English, from the verb "to stalk" which is equivalent to "harass", "spy" or "persecute".

Something as simple as entering your ex's profile, and from there to their friends, a family member, co-workers to see their photos, updates, videos, try to know what they think and do, but without us being a contact in their social network.

A person who tries to check your cell phone, the movements in social networks is manifesting a significant problem of jealousy and you have to be very alert.

Being in a relationship does not imply that you have to lose your individuality, it is important to agree, either with each having access to the other's social network, as well as respecting that each one keeps for himself the access codes to their accounts.

If you spend all your time checking your cell phone when you are in a relationship, or you get up at night to look at your computer, it is possible that this attitude is misinterpreted.

But in some cases the harassment is not only with the photos and videos, the Stalker can even know with whom you comment on social networks, something that can become very obsessive.

From a Smartphone today you can check minute by minute what your partner, that boy or girl you frequent or also your ex is doing on social networks. Even controlling where you are if you have GPS activated on your phone or seeing when was the last time you connected to the chat and whether or not our message reached you. Too much right?

Beware of excess control

Social networks function as a kind of small alarm that goes off before controlling personalities and warns us how the person next to us is in that aspect, even without going very deep into the link.

The lack of appropriate privacy settings, on the part of users on social networks, greatly helps curious users; In the case of Facebook, photos, videos, set as public, are the source of information accessible to people who want to know more about the other without their consent..

Jealousy in the couple

What about trust, but not only the trust we have in our partner, but also the trust we have in ourselves? If you are jealous or jealous, it is most likely that you are on social networks, in real life, both of your partner and your friends. A matter of insecurity, lack of self-esteem, of not being satisfied with ourselves, which leads us to want to control everything the other does, in their online life as in real life, for fear of abandonment. As much as the couple tries to help us, it is something that we need to work with ourselves and many times the help of a professional is necessary..

It is interesting to see that Instagram and Snapchat lead the list of the worst social networks for mental health. Both are heavily image-focused platforms and appear to be producing feelings of inadequacy and anxiety in young people.

Another negative impact of social networks is that they generate fear of missing something: a social event or any activity in which others have had fun. This is why many constantly review their accounts. In this regard, Snapchat is the network that most causes this fear, since it is the messaging of the ephemeral.

Signs to realize that your autonomy of decision is in dangerĀ 

  • They constantly review the comments they make us about our activity on social networks.
  • They want to know which friends we go out with and where we are going.
  • If they cannot find us or communicate, they usually make several calls or leave us messages
  • Every so often they want to "surprise us" and knock on the door of the house without warning.
  • They tell us how we should dress, usually with subtle comments at first.
  • They rarely accept new people into their inner circle, unless they are the direct connection to that person. Any influence outside your circle is seen as a threat.

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