Quitting smoking is not easy, and even less if someone else does it.
Most people suffer when they see that a loved one, family member, partner or friend is the victim of the Addiction to tobacco. You literally see the person get poisoned every day. It is the closest thing there is to a legal suicide in small doses.
And the worst thing is usually the helplessness we feel when we see a person we love smoking, and we don't know how to help him..
In this article I explain what approach to use to help the people you love get rid of smoke for good. How to help your parents, your children or your partner to quit smoking.
It is very difficult to deal with a person who does not want to quit tobacco just yet. Many people get frustrated when broaching the subject, because they feel that it is like trying to knock down a wall with their fists.
If you approach the subject with a very authoritarian or overly direct tone or approach, you can achieve the opposite effect to what you are looking for: the rejection of the other person, or that they put themselves totally into defensive.
Many family members of smokers have given up in their attempts to help because the issue of quitting smoking is a constant source of arguments and confrontations. Sometimes we blame the smoker for “closing in on the band”, however it is very possible that we have contributed to the person closing down on the subject.
Don't judge, empathize with the other person's difficulty
It is essential that we see the smoker for what he is, a person who suffers. In most cases, they are fully aware of the risks of smoking. They know they are destroying their health. But they keep smoking because they don't know how to quit.
It is absolutely necessary to use our empathy and understand the person's difficulties in quitting smoking. If we do this exercise in empathy, we will find:
When talking to a smoker about the possibility of trying to quit, it is important that we let the person know that we understand how they are feeling, that we do not we blame, and that we would like to help overcome those difficulties.
And please, don't even think about saying anything like "you just need willpower", because that has already been tried, and you would only be sending the message "you have not been able to quit smoking because you do not have willpower, because you are weak, because you don't make an effort ".
Don't forget, nobody smokes on a whim, it's an addiction.
Tobacco packages are full of grotesque messages and photos of bloody black lungs, tumors, things that should cause fear and aversion in smokers and make them rethink their decision to continue smoking.
However, more than 22% of the Spanish population smokes regularly, despite these campaigns.
That shows us that the fear strategy doesn't work for everyone. Many smokers have simply become accustomed to looking at pictures of tobacco boxes without feeling anything, or have learned to avoid looking at them..
Focus on talking about the best and benefits of quitting smoking. Help the other person to see the negative consequences of tobacco in the present.
The things that the person loses today by smoking. And everything you could gain from day to day after quitting:
If you help create these images in the mind of the other person, you will get them closer to the desire to get rid of tobacco, and to do whatever it takes to achieve it. How to help someone who is trying to quit smoking
If you smoke too, obviously you shouldn't smoke in front of the other person.
You can inspire the other person to change by showing them how you too are making efforts to achieve some goal or get rid of a bad habit..
You will help him to believe that a change is possible if the right steps are followed, and to think "I could do it too".
If quitting was easy, I would have quit years ago. While your loved one tries to quit tobacco, they will have to face the tobacco withdrawal syndrome and the irritability or anxiety that often accompanies it.
Don't take it personally, understand that this person may be going through a difficult time. So be patient, he's trying hard too.
Some smokers have a strong tendency to pessimism and to give more importance to failures than to successes in their head. If the person goes a few days without smoking, or smokes less than usual, encourage them, let them know that you have given yourself.
If they get a positive response from you, they are more likely to keep trying and have fewer relapses.
If willpower were enough to quit smoking, there would be no more smokers in the world. Overcoming an addiction is not usually as simple as "changing our attitude" or something like that..
Many studies claim that only 5% of smokers who try to quit without help end up succeeding. This demonstrates the importance of working with the guidance of a professional specialized in the treatment of tobacco addiction, that is, a psychologist.
If that loved one agrees to consult with a professional, they will have already taken the most difficult and impactful step.
Remember, with help, everything is much easier.
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