Undoubtedly you are exposed to situations of rejection because by our nature we are social beings and as we are we are constantly exposed to external evaluations.
Within the family group you seek acceptance and care reflected in gestures of love and respect for those around you and the rejection you receive, regardless of its shape and size affects your criteria. In relation to the answers you get, you will more or less seek to avoid rejection of this first social group to which you belong.
From then on, throughout your life, you are exposed to various situations in which you will have to make a choice between following one direction or another and in any case you are going to favor a certain group and therefore the isolation of the other..
This is your own decision criteria.
However, depending on your essential values, your decision criteria may vary, bend or become stronger, depending on your aspiration or need to belong to a social group..
In this article I seek to take you through reflections so that you recognize how social rejection impacts you and what can you do to take control of your emotions about it.
According to the RAE, rejecting means contradicting what someone expresses or not admitting what they propose or offer. And with this definition, the act of rejecting does not seem negative in any sense and it would be understood completely normal that every human being, both men and women, has experienced rejection at some point in their lives..
It is normal and positive to have a different opinion or appreciation of things, situations or values.
It is okay to reject a proposal because it does not meet your aspirations, a person because it violates your life principles, a proforma because it exceeds your budget, an invitation because it does not fit your agenda..
It's okay and you will continue to be exposed to rejection situations.
But ... If rejecting doesn't have a negative connotation, then why does being rejected affect so much??
You feel bad being rejected because your valuation is mistakenly conditioned to the appreciation, opinion or valuation of others and that is why it is worth asking yourself if the emotions you feel after being rejected exist due to a personal crisis or if they are in fact due to the interaction you had with the other party.
Let's see step by step.
The rejection occurs in a circumstance in which you are excluded from something (invitation, hiring, conversation, project, relationship, etc.) and on which you experience subjective emotions normally socially perceived.
This exclusion is given in an active way by providing a clear response of denial or going further and including mistreatment, abuse, ridicule, ridicule, etc. or may be passive in giving no response at all such as silent and distant rejection.
In any of these situations, you always have power over the emotions, thoughts and attitudes that come as a response to rejection..
It is normal, positive and common to feel distressed during or after conflict situations, separations or arguments, however, none of them determines or sentences the rest of your day, much less the rest of your life.
Being fired from your job, being separated by a friend or relative, undoubtedly constitutes an instant of pain that as such, we have to experience it for what it is: a loss, an instant of suffering, sometimes intense, other times , mild.
Most of the time, you can interpret the rejection as a failure, as a disappointment, as something very regrettable. But you can also interpret it as a new opportunity.
It all depends on how you want to see it.
Being rejected doesn't mean you're worthless. It only means that who has rejected you is looking for something different.
And when I say this, I don't want you to think for a second that what you should do then is change to fit in that 'different', but rather that you look for a better place to deliver what you are giving.
A very simple example:
If you make an offer to deliver a 3-course executive lunch, which includes the best cut of beef in pepper sauce and your offer is rejected because it won a vegan menu, it does not mean that your business is bad..
You have a good business delivering the best lunches of those characteristics, but that customer doesn't want meat, they want vegan options.
Another very common example:
Your partner cheats on you repeatedly. Your partner is not unfaithful because you have something wrong, but because their life principles determine it..
You are not unfaithful because you lack prospects, in reality you can be if you wanted to because it is actually very easy to go out and find someone willing to have an adventure. But you don't because it goes against your principles.
So in either of the two examples, suffering rejection, whether from a situation or person, does not define you as less, but rather reminds you that you actually belong to another group.
So if at some point in your life someone told you “no”, it is simply “past”. You have every right - and duty - to move forward with new forces, with new projects and approaches appropriate to your principles of life..
It is not necessary to become a victim of those who hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, or worse, become a victim of terrible fear; fear of new rejections, fears that take over your interior, your mind and your emotions.
Remember, feeling a rejection does not mean that your opportunities are running out, it only means that there are many other alternatives that are more suitable for you..
Yet No Comments