The confidence it is the foundation for building strong personal or professional relationships. Such confidence does not emerge overnight. Quite the opposite. Gaining the trust of the people around you is a long process that requires work and perseverance for your part. And the key to earning that trust lies in the ability you have to fulfill what you promise..
When you keep your promises, you turn the present moment into a perfect and continuous extension of the past. When you keep your promises consistently, you get your words to be a reflection of what is going to happen at some point in the future.
On the contrary, when you don't keep your promises your word loses value. You cause a discontinuity between what you say will happen and what actually ends up happening. The people around you lose confidence in what you say and by extension they lose trust in you.
Many times we promise things to look good in the present moment, and we do not realize that when time passes and we do not fulfill them, we are worse off than if we had not promised anything initially. It is better not to promise than to promise and not fulfill. When you don't promise something your word is intact. On the contrary, when you promise and do not comply, your word suffers irreparable damage.
Over time I have identified some key points that will help you keep your promises, or at least, help you not to promise things so easily.
Although it seems contradictory, many people do not keep their promises because they think they are very good at keeping promises. They have a high concept of themselves and perceive a distorted reality that prevents them from becoming aware of those moments in which they have broken their word. From their own point of view they always do what they say. However, from the point of view of others it is not like that.
Everybody breaks a promise from time to time. Begin to realize that you do too and try to identify those situations from now on in order to improve them in the future..
It's funny how many people have problems with self-confidence or security. However, when it comes to making promises, the opposite is true. We sin of a overconfidence in what we say. And if we also promise something on a Saturday night, security rises exponentially. When I went out to party with my friends, we had a habit of organizing something for the next day before going home. For example, meeting at 8 in the morning to go fishing after closing the nightclub at 6. No one ever got up. However, when we promised, we could have sworn before the Bible that we would. Surely something similar has happened to you.
Your energy, your capabilities and your time are limited. Before promising something, ask yourself if you will be able to fulfill it. Do not promise anything unless the answer is a resounding "yes".
Sometimes we are forced to promise something without actually being able or willing to do it. When someone asks us for help, it is very difficult for us to say "no" for an answer. We know that this person has come to us because they hold us in high regard and we want them to continue to do so. You have to understand that you cannot and do not have to please everyone. According to evolutionary theories, thousands of years ago our survival depended mainly on the group integration.
In those moments a refusal could cost us our lives. Today society has evolved, however we continue to maintain the need to please others at all costs even if our life is not in danger.
It's not about whipping yourself with a whip every time you break your word, but at least try to feel a little bad. There are people to whom breaking their word does not generate any remorse. As a consequence, they promise anything and then they do not care about not fulfilling it. In the short term they get the reward of looking good, however in the long term their word loses value. Delivering on what you promise should become something important to you. In this way you will promise only what you are sure you can fulfill..
We all have a friend who is always the first to sign up for a dinner or a birthday. And then it's the one that never shows up. Is it so hard to say no? There are people for whom saying yes to everything becomes a lifestyle and a routine. First they say yes. Then they will see if they can or not. You sure know someone like that.
Personally, it has always been difficult for me to say no and I have also punished myself when I have broken my promises. As a consequence, I have embarked on many projects that have generated me stress and anxiety realizing that he would not be able to carry them out. Although it still takes some effort, over time I have learned to say no from the beginning.
Do you and I both get help whenever we need it?? No. Not much less. Many times we have to get the chestnuts out of the fire ourselves. Of course I give help to anyone who asks me and is within my means, especially if it is a friend. However, I will not make the mistake of hurting myself by helping someone.
These very basic and obvious rules have helped me to live better today.
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