How to avoid being paralyzed by fear

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David Holt
How to avoid being paralyzed by fear

The truth is that sometimes fear paralyzes us and because of it we stop doing things that we would like. Possibly in most cases we are aware of this. Yet other times we don't even notice.

There are various factors underlying the attitude of fear, thoughts such as fear of damaging our self-esteem, to "what will they say", to if we try and we do not succeed, to be laughed at, to be judged, to fail someone, etc..

This happens because we base our value on the opinion or judgments of other people..

However, and before continuing, we must not forget that being afraid is not necessarily bad, since it is a natural part of our lives. The bad thing is when it often incapacitates us and prevents us from reaching our full potential..

Sometimes this brings us into a state that prevents us from functioning properly and appropriately. Perhaps it is the survival instincts that begin to react from our most basic levels in an exaggerated way.

So instead we should use our mental capacities to say "this far" or "I'm going to expose myself to what I fear" or "I'll do what I want.", it is in us, in our attitude and in our mind to neutralize fear.

Nor should we ignore that doubts or fear may depend to a great extent on our individual differences and the degree of confidence in ourselves. These are similar concepts and they may be the product of experiences of frustration lived previously and possibly innervated with our genetic predisposition to act in some areas..

We do not have to feel strange for believing ourselves with less value than other people towards some objects. If we do not have the skills to overcome the inconveniences or obstacles that dominate us or prevent action, I assure you that they can be learned and developed.

I have always been struck by some psychological paradigms that already warned about the influence of the environment on our behaviors, such are the classical Pavlov conditioning (objects or situations that in principle do not affect behavior and that in the end do end up influencing, therefore, we stop doing things because of the sensations they transmit to us)

The Learned helplessness of Seligman (I do not do this for fear of ... So, I better not do anything, I stay still) or that of the Cognitive dissonance by Leon Festinger (I lie to not accept reality).

And that's the way it is, sometimes we hide behind excuses, excuses or disguises to not do what we really want or want. We hide behind “perfect” jobs, relationships or attitudes to protect ourselves from fears or internal conflicts that we do not face.

In the end, fear makes us build a life, a personality with which to hide our fears, we flee from fear like this, we are not happy but ... "we are going through life that is not little" we think.

Although if we reflect, while we are focused on our conjectures, memories or rumination we miss the most important thing, our own lives and perhaps others, those of the people who really matter to us..

Probably the most complicated but not the least important option is to accept ourselves and therefore face our reality, our fears.

We must reflect on what is holding us back, and once we know it, we need to expose ourselves to "it" with the intention of overcoming it..

As almost everything is better to flow, we should not try to avoid fear, that is, we will have to expose ourselves to our "monsters" to do what we really like, since every time we avoid doing something out of insecurity or shyness, our fear grows stronger and therefore this returns to make us park again the development of our capacities, that we stop.

This is not easy to do, but calmly and calmly we must understand what troubles us, and taking into account our qualities or possibilities, we need to overcome, repair or just let go of our fears.

We don't have to tell each other "I'm not afraid anymore" or "I'm not afraid of failure" if we really think otherwise, I assume that it is therapeutic to accept discouragement.

If we feel vulnerable we must accept ourselves as such, we are not perfect, nor is anyone perfect, we must not live in the conditional of the "what would happen if", let's try to try to do what we want, to see what happens. By acting, by exposing ourselves to our fears is how we can overcome them.

In this way, if we accept those Psychological "monsters" that prevent us from moving forward and that they transmit us inability to perform certain actions, we will understand them as they are and we will understand how prisoners we are of them.

In this way we will be taking the first steps in that path of self-improvement, that path that will lead us to the defeat of that “blockade” of which fear contaminates us.

Another important point is planning, to advance and overcome fear we have to organize ourselves, We must be aware of our state of mind, we must take advantage of it, even if we only have a thread of hope or strength, no matter how small it may be..

We have to try to extract the best of these concepts for our benefit, the aim is to try not to decline. Observing and analyzing ourselves calmly, we must understand as a fundamental element that people are different.

Each of us has different dreams or desires, thus, what we will have to ask ourselves is, if the objective we seek is really the one we want, it should never be what others expect of us.

Let's not forget that the block that prevents us from acting is mental, it is our mind that intervenes in the "what am I going to be able to do or not", consequently, the problem is in our psyche.

As said at the beginning of this article, many times we stop doing things for fear of failing or being judged.

A few days ago I saw a video in which famous athletes appeared, as well as other personalities who had experienced world recognition, and what these people came to say in this recording is that they had failed a lot in their lives.

That being wrong had not affected them in their project, on the contrary, they had lived situations that if out of fear they had not done them, they would never have fulfilled or lived many of their dreams.

Therefore being afraid of being wrong does not have to stop us, we have to think about the moments or occasions that we will lose if we let our mistakes stop us.

Therefore, our goal is to conquer our fears, without forgetting that there is no universal form of behavior. Then, we will have to make our overcoming fear our way or way of overcoming it. It is through practice that we can do this, the working to be more daring will lead us to trust ourselves more.

We must not be afraid that others know who we really are and this is fundamental, we must expose our existence, if there are some people who criticize us ... perhaps others value us. This is one of the actions that we must carry out if we want to dominate our anguishes or fears.

Therefore, it is convenient to know ourselves more, since in order to overcome fear we will have to be more as we really are,  self-accept, live authentically to our principles, expressing our feelings appropriately, etc., denying our shortcomings or limitations will not help us.

As we said at the beginning we will have to decide, venture to live our fears, even little by little, we can use visualizations or self-speak a word of encouragement while we face our fears.

The practice of some kind of exercise and relaxation, Even if they are for a small period of time a day, they will also help us act with a more positive attitude towards threats.

And finalizing this article I will say that we should not be afraid of looking stupid, since the fear of what people think is the fear that they think that we are making a fool of ourselves, and this should not matter much to us, in the end it is ours. life and no one should make us feel bad because we are living our existence as we want.

We are not here for anyone to approve of us, we should try to be consistent with ourselves. The intention is that the opinions or emotions of other people do not imprison us, do not trap us.

Although we must not forget that our path will be lighter if while we are on it we surround ourselves with people who bring us satisfaction..

Joy is in our intention, in our plan or idea, ultimately, in our will. Let's transform our fear into freedom.


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