Until relatively recently, specialists in issues related to the couple They held diverse and even antinomic points of view regarding divorce: some considered it as a highly traumatic event that could even lead to psychological pathology in at least one of the two members of the destroyed couple.
The aspiration that the family nucleus should remain compact and united forever constituted a leitmotif of the couple in their purpose of achieving adequate development in their children, much more so when many researchers - back in the 1970s - had an impact on demonstrating the multiple problems presented by children from broken homes.
Simultaneously, and in contrast to the previous pessimistic perspective of the problem, there was another alternative version - developed essentially between the 1980s and 1990s.- that presented divorce as an inalienable right, at the same time as an effective solution to end a conflictive relationship, with all the inconveniences that it entailed.
This current of opinion also encouraged and founded the discourse of social researchers who justifiably postulated that it was much more damaging, both for children and the family group as a whole, to live in a hell of daily and endless disputes and conflicts and that they tried to demonstrate what, the more time an individual spent in such a dysfunctional context, the more damage they would suffer and the more conflictive their future life could be.
These two versions have come together, in the current era, in a more eclectic and moderate one that brings together both: consists of assuming that divorce is a critical transition in families, plagued by destabilizing circumstances, which converges and leads to a family system of "different" stability. This new version, less discouraging than the initial one and that qualifies the second, builds new beliefs and contemplates new values of the individuals involved, since they are not considered pathological subjects in relation to the surrounding social context, making it easier for them not to observe themselves like sick.
Divorce or separation, under this new perspective, can be analyzed as a temporary crisis that necessarily implies substantial changes and adjustments by each of the members of the family nucleus, but these changes can favor a positive metamorphosis and not necessarily a perennial trauma.
What happens in a family system in which a couple is forced to stay together?
When marital problems are present permanently and not episodically, the couple begins a slow but steady process of deterioration in which divorce is only the final stage in this long process of dissolution and marriage breakdown. However, sometimes, when not being able to afford this option due to the fact that one of the members of the couple is unemployed, they have to face a mortgage, they have children of school age (with the expenses that this entails), etc. ., the whole family is at a very complex crossroads from which it is difficult to escape.
As, it seems, we are gradually overcoming the crisis, a change in trend is taking place and couples immersed in this type of conflict are considering taking the step of divorce, being able to observe, in the cases in which it is done effective, that its initial impact is as intense in men as it is in women: However, it happens that the ways of dealing with it are different.
The experience derived from our group practice at the Coaching Club clearly indicates that Divorced women need support in eminently practical areas, such as economic or professional planning, as well as to face the outside world and to be able to rebuild social and emotional relationships.
Men, on the other hand, when they doThey request professional therapeutic help to overcome the emotional shock (especially the feeling of loneliness) and solve the problems related to the development of parenthood, not always exercised fully and in full responsibility until the moment of divorce.
It should not be overlooked that, for both women and men, divorce is nothing more than the culmination and corollary of highly regarded stressors. Life stage changes can be considered as natural cycles of existence and many times require adequate emotional management to be able to face them in the most optimal way..
One modality that is booming at the moment is participating in the so-called support groups, which make it possible to reconnect with life, create new perspectives, socialize, learn to manage time and individual space, a question is not easy for those people who have been married for many years. They come together in the first months of divorce, and collide many times, on the one hand the pleasant feeling of freedom and, on the other, the feeling of loneliness and vulnerability and it is necessary to try to reconcile both aspects of the new life path.
It is about finding and / or building a space to conquer new goals, learn and share experiences (more common than those involved imagine), relying decisively on the group formed. This formula allows to face complicated situations in a climate of security derived from the sharing of experiences, feeling the repair company of other like-minded people, due to similar problems, and of a team of professionals at your disposal..
The functionalities and advantages that the group brings to its components are as well-known as they are fundamental. The group techniques that we develop in Coaching Club are an ideal way of approaching the inner world and the larvated or undeveloped personal potentialities, since it is empirically proven that this type of experience strengthens our ability to connect healthily with the environment and to know ourselves.
We work and operate with our clients at various levels, such as thinking, body and emotions, thus expanding the possibilities for self-improvement and personal growth, noting substantial changes and improvements just in the span of a semester, since this type of group sessions helps to establish new interpersonal relationships, increases self-esteem, improves emotional management and advances in bonding with children and with the work environment.
In groups, through game dynamics and different development techniques, it is realized that, imperceptibly, we all maintain an internal dialogue with ourselves that can cause stress, depression or other emotional disorders if not managed properly and that these types of thoughts, in addition to the justifications that one argues for what happened, they can alternatively increase or decrease anxiety, resentment, sadness, etc..
The positive experience of sharing that process and that internal dialogue enables the person to modify it in their favor and contribute more efficiently to their recovery and personal appreciation. In this way, a painful process such as divorce becomes a shared learning experience..
Yet No Comments