How to make and keep friends

Paradoxically, in this society in which we live so “hyper-connected”, more and more people are found who feel lonely and who, in addition, have many difficulties to make friends. People, especially in big cities, live a life more independent, lonely, who are progressively replacing "real" interactions with "virtual" ones, either due to lack of time, comfort, shyness, etc..

Having good friends and keeping them is a difficult task: we must take care of them, take an interest in them and make them feel important. All this involves a cost of time in calls, being pending, going to their weddings, being when their children are born, meeting for coffee ...

There are different degrees of friendship: there are friends "from the soul" and others who laugh with them or have a drink after work, nothing more. To have good friends and, above all, keep them, it is essential avoid confrontations and disputes, which lead to nothing. It is much easier to criticize and censor than to try to understand the point of view of others, because that attitude only leads to others not wanting our company. Being empathetic and knowing how to listen is essential to be a good friend.

“Friendship is more difficult and rarer than love. For this reason, you have to take care of it as it is ”(Alberto Moravia)

How can we get along with other people? How can we arouse the interest of others? How to have more ability to talk to people?

Here are some tips that we can all practice to make and keep friends:

Do not criticize without more

Instead of criticizing, try to understand the other person by asking yourself: Why does he do what he does, or say what he says? Instead of criticizing, be assertive and ask who offends you, the causes of their behavior.

Show sincere appreciation for others

Run away from superficial relationships. Don't think so much about your accomplishments, and try to bring the other person's accomplishments to the fore. That will make the other person feel important..

Talk less about yourself and more about the other

This point is basic. Knowing how to listen actively is key to maintaining a friendly relationship in "top form." Talk less about your worries and pay more attention to what others are telling you.

Smile, boost your sense of humor

It is our best business card. The first impression is key. With a smile we are saying to the other, implicitly, "I'm glad to see you"

Address your interlocutor by name

Remember the name of the person you are talking to and repeat it during the conversation. It is a compliment to the other person.

Listen with mindfulness

This encourages others to speak honestly about themselves and strengthen their relationship with you. Put your phone aside and be interested in your "real" interaction.

Talk about what interests others

Find out what interests those around you, and tell them about it, so that your company is enjoyable.

Avoid getting angry

You never win an argument. It is useless. You can never convince anyone by force and it drains your energy.

Respect the opinions of others

Put yourself in the place of the other and try to enhance your empathy. If your interlocutor thinks in this or that way, he will have his reasons for it.

Admit your mistakes

By admitting our mistakes, we awaken sympathy in others and make it easier for others to admit them as well. It's really smart to admit our mistakes.

Boost your assertiveness

Enforce your rights skillfully, without doing unwarranted harm to others. Your friends have the right to know what you think, and it will also give you the opportunity to strengthen your friendship relationship.

"Friend is the one who, in prosperity, comes to you when called, and in adversity, without being called" (Demetrio Falero, Philosopher, 350 AC).