For some time I have wanted to write something that has to do with my personal interest in neurosciences and now I have the opportunity to do it and to match it with the field in which I have developed throughout my career: the couple and romantic love.
It has been a long time since I learned about the research that led to the discovery of the mirror neurons, Those revolutionary brain cells that provoke a reflex imitation in the behavior of the person when seeing a certain action or attitude carried out by another individual. And since then I was fascinated by them.
Despite the fact that they have many detractors, every day more researchers accept mirror neurons as an essential part of neurology and -particularly- of neuropsychology. The phrase of Vilayanur Ramachandran that his discovery "will do as much for psychology as DNA has done for biology" is a brutal push in this regard. But since I do not want to sound very scientific but understandable to most, to begin I will briefly tell you the story of mirror neurons.
In 1996, in Parma, Italy, a researcher named Giacomo Rizzolatti I was testing macaques to measure certain neural movement responses. The animal had electrodes connected to a part of its brain and they detected the response of certain cells when it moved when it picked up and put food (peanuts and bananas) in its mouth..
One day, another researcher came to visit the laboratory and inadvertently took part of the food (it is not very clear whether peanuts or a banana, but for practical purposes it is the same) and put it in his mouth while the monkey watched.
And to the great surprise of Rizzolatti and his team, the electrodes detected a "jump" in the readings in the macaque's motor area, but it hadn't moved at all. The casual experiment was carried out over and over again and in all cases the same thing happened: The monkey, seeing the same movement that he was constantly performing, had a motor reaction in his brain but without performing the action himself!!
This led to the conclusion that certain neurons could naturally imitate the experience simply by perceiving it, even if it was not carried out. Rizzolatti baptized these neurons as “mirror neurons” and that's how it all began.
For a myriad of reasons, of course, but the one that concerns us in this article is that it would mean that humans (like Rizzolatti's macaques), we are equipped with the natural brain machinery to generate and accept empathy. And empathy - which in general terms is the ability to be aware of the other person's emotions and stop just for a moment before hurting them-, basically makes us human.
Perhaps there is no clearer event to develop empathy than love and, particularly, it is in romantic love where it is further enhanced because lovers tend to blend in with each other. And mirror neurons play a decisive role in this amatory mimesis.
To begin with, when people are in the first stage -the one that precedes love-, called falling in love, and that chemistry is triggered when someone catches our attention like no one else, the mechanism is set in motion as follows: when we are meeting that person we like we usually imitate their behavior without realizing it and the other does the same, This happens because the brain is forcing us to send messages that allow the other party to know that there is a genuine interest in it and how these messages have to be as clear as possible, the brain uses imitation as the best tool. This is how you begin to create a bond that makes these two beings more united by recognizing themselves in the other..
Secondly, when infatuation begins to be exchanged for genuine love (which occurs after approximately two or three years of relationship), mirror neurons exert greater influence on the couple by causing mimicry not only on the physical plane or behavior, but they also begin to include the psychic part; then those involved they recognize the deepest feelings and desires of their own in the other and emotional affinity is given which is absolutely necessary to consider the couple as a true partner.
In this way, the couple solidifies their interest through the search for the same life project. Both become one although without ceasing to be two, to paraphrase Erich Fromm. And this is because psychic and emotional empathy is generated between them. Mirror neurons are responsible for provoking a response at the height of the actions, feelings, thoughts and emotions of the other person and that is beneficial for the relationship of the couple.
Finally, after the couple has consolidated over time, you enter the part of love called agape for the Greeks, which is compassion and selfless affection for the partner, and the most evident characteristic of this stage is the anticipation of the wishes of the other. Have you seen those couples of many years who seem to be guessing the thought? The mirror neurons of both members have reached a point where they seem to function as a single organism, anticipating the wishes of the other; that is, empathy has developed to such a degree that the brain / emotional cells of one respond automatically and almost impossible to the emotional bite of the other's "banana".
Broadly speaking, this is how mirror neurons are believed to work in the development of love and the couple. Biologically romantic or at least interesting, don't you think? Until next time.
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