How to be a good mother 17 tips that work

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Alexander Pearson

I will list up 17 tips to be a good mother, with whom I will try to help you strengthen and improve the relationship with your children. We will also talk about the different educational styles with which we can educate our children and their advantages and consequences for their development..

How to be a good mother is something we usually ask ourselves from a very young age, especially if we have had siblings and have seen how our mother took care of us. Actually, it is something very common and that we have seen other people do since we were little, but no one has told us exactly what guidelines to follow or what is the best way to do it..

Tips to be a good mother

1- Generate guidelines at home that create a suitable environment

It is important that this section is followed by both parents in order to give the child the best possible environment. That is, a stable, predictable and safe environment for their growth and development..

An example could be that the child learns that all his actions have positive and negative consequences.

2- Have rules and keep them in time

Like the previous section, both parents must form a team and create a home that is governed by rules. Although it may not seem like it, they have very positive benefits for their development and help them feel safe and supported in their learning.

The fact of not growing with rules and that these are not maintained over time and are not consistent, can negatively affect the child, even triggering criminal behavior.

3- Communicate frequently with the child

It is very important for your child that you communicate with him daily and openly. This will allow you to earn their trust and learn about their tastes and what they do. On the other hand, it will also allow you to know their concerns and fears.

4- Be a good example for your child

The family is the child's first socializing agent, so we are the example to follow in all aspects of their life from birth. Therefore, it is recommended that we do things as they really have to be done.

In this way, we will instill in the child what is right and wrong, as well as what can and cannot be done and its possible consequences..

5- Stimulates their autonomy

It is not good for the child to act dependently throughout his development and growth. Therefore, as mothers we have to take care little by little that our child acquires autonomy.

A good example may be that you help out at home to do some household chores. Since they are little they are able to have their toys organized.

6- Listen to your son

It is not only good that we communicate with our child, but also that we listen to what he has to say about something or his feelings.

Our duty as mothers is to make him feel supported at all times and to help him where possible. Failure to do so may adversely affect your self-esteem.

7- Do not argue with your partner in front of him

For the child to grow up happy, we have to make our home a place that is not only stable, but also devoid of conflicts on the part of the parents. Therefore, you have to try to avoid arguing with your partner in front of him and look for the moments in which if there are differences of ideas, you can talk calmly.

8- Do activities with him

Share activities with your child even if you don't like them. In the end you will understand that they will become the most fun and appetizing in the world because you are doing them with him.

Thanks to this action, you will be able to meet him and spend a pleasant time together. On the other hand, it is highly recommended to strengthen the emotional ties between mother-child and promote their learning..

9- Live a normal life

It is important that from the first moment we lead a normal life even if we think that it is not correct or that we are not capable. The sooner we start to do it, the sooner we will get used to the fact that we have a person who depends on us in all aspects.

10- Enjoy this experience

Being a mother is the best gift that life can give us, so we have to take advantage of our role in the best possible way with our partner. Unless we want to be mothers for the second time, those moments will never happen again..

11- Don't be overwhelmed

It is normal that at first it takes a bit to get used to the fact of having someone under your responsibility and also to be able to combine it with your daily life. The secret is not to get overwhelmed and to share your responsibilities with your partner. Together you can do it and also without effort.

12- Let him be wrong

We cannot be overprotective with our son as it will not be good for his development. We have to let him make mistakes and learn by himself, so that when he needs us we are there to support him.

13- Communicate positively with him

As mothers, it is important that we not only support our son, but also that we communicate in a positive way, paying special attention to everything he does or does well on a day-to-day basis..

In the same way, we also have to help him in what he is not so good at with patience and calm..

14- Share responsibilities with your partner

If you share day-to-day responsibilities with your partner, everything will be easier for family members, including your son. This will only have positive effects for everyone since the home environment will be more relaxed.

Several years ago, this was unthinkable because the parenting role was directed solely and exclusively to mothers. However, it has been proven that currently continuing on this path is unfeasible and only brings negative consequences for our son.

15- Tell your son that you love him

It is important that we tell our child that we love him, it is not enough just that we show it with our actions and day to day. Hearing that someone loves us makes us feel better and increases our self-esteem.

16- Worry about the example you set

As we have said on other occasions, our son will imitate us and follow our example in everything we do and, when he grows up, he will use these tools to function in his environment.

For this reason, it is important that we analyze whether we are really giving our child the right example or the one we want to set..

17- have time for yourself

Rest is also part of being a mother, if we do not do it we will not be the mother our child needs. So leaving a small period of time every week and dedicating it to rest is a good option to de-stress and start the day with energy..

What educational style is best for my child?

We can behave in different ways or styles with our children. These styles are not a characteristic of the father or the mother, but a type of relationship with the child conditioned by the way of being of the minor and the different situations in which we find ourselves.

  • Democratic style. This style is the most recommended since it is characterized by the affection that the parents give to the child supported by high levels of communication. On the other hand, the rules and limits are usually explained and justified in a reasonable way and adapted to the age of the child.
  • Authoritarian style. Authoritarian parents are characterized by not being affectionate and by communicating infrequently with their children. They usually impose rules and limits without having the opinion of the minor and severely control the behavior of their children.
  • Permissive style. Although parents who use this system are very affectionate with their children and maintain high levels of communication with them, they do not set norms or control their behavior on a regular basis.
  • Indifferent style. These parents are characterized by being little affectionate and maintaining low levels of communication with their children. In addition, they do not usually set limits and do not control the behavior of their children.

Surely when introducing you to the different educational styles, the different families that use one or the other have come to mind..

The most recommended for the benefits it offers your child is the democratic style, since the parents are warm and affectionate and also impose consistent and clear rules. They also monitor and guide their behavior on a day-to-day basis and promote their autonomy, thus stimulating their development..

What negative consequences do they have for their development?

On many occasions we are not aware of the educational style that we are using with our child and, therefore, we are not aware of the possible consequences that it may entail..

Next, we expose some negative consequences of using one or another style in order for you to analyze yourself to try to avoid this type of behavior and, as far as possible, use a democratic style:

  • Problems of being an authoritarian mother. If we are demanding with our child and also impose rules and limits without using the dialogue and explanations necessary for him to understand them, we can cause problems for our child. This excessive control can cause our child to present emotional problems or even react in a rebellious way to what we ask of him..
  • Problems of being a permissive mother. Although it meets the first two requirements of the democratic style, the rules and regulations are important for the proper development of our child. In this case, they are not taken into account because of what may affect your child and there is a risk that they will develop problematic behaviors.
  • Problems of being an indifferent mother. This style is the worst of all because of the multitude of negative consequences it can bring to your child. If the child's behavior is not supervised or shown affection, he may think that he means nothing to you. This can cause self-esteem problems as well as little interest in school and risky behaviors..

In this article, since we are talking about the role of mother, we have explained educational styles focusing on this role. However, these styles are also used by the father figure, so it is very important that parents agree on the type of educational style they want to use in order to give quality development and well-being to the child..

Conclusions.

Although being a mother is not an easy task, we have to think about the well-being of our child to give him quality development and well-being. At first, the idea of ​​whether we will be a good mother or whether the guidelines that we will be following are appropriate can overwhelm us a bit..

We have to be calm and trust our criteria and rely on the people around us and our partner. On the other hand, the guidelines that have to be followed are the most normal and common that all families tend to respect, including your own..

Here we have exposed some tips that can help and facilitate you in this new role, although as you may have realized they are not the only ones that exist. I think the best advice of all is that you enjoy this experience and let yourself be guided by your instincts.

And you, what other tips to be a good mother do you know?

References

  1. Pérez Gómez, A. (S / F). Profession dads. How to guide the future of your children: educating for well-being. Dupligráficas Ltda, Colombia.
  2. Fernandez Beato, M. P. (2009). The educational styles of fathers and mothers. Innovation and educational experiences.

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