Surely you are dealing with difficult people at work, home or elsewhere in your life and they are literally making your existence bitter. Sometimes it is easy for someone's behavior to affect us and have negative consequences at work and in general, in our state of mind.
In this article I will teach you how to deal with difficult people in your life and work, deal with the situation and get back to being productive and happy. The situation will not improve on its own, in fact, on many occasions it will get worse. Therefore, you should face the situation while you can maintain an emotional control.
Below you will obtain some keys to face the situation and you will learn techniques to solve frequent situations.
Unless it is important to take action, do not worry about the behavior of someone who does not matter in your life and is not worth getting into arguments or fights.
Do not try to convince someone or change their negative behavior, as you will be wasting your time. If you can, keep a prudent distance from people who influence you negatively, in case you can't, if you will have to take action.
The situations I am referring to are: 1) when the negative influence is temporary (for example, someone who whistles at you because you started slow or a customer complains about anything), 2) if putting up with the other person's behavior gives benefits; for example someone you don't like on your team but is very intelligent and brings good ideas.
In examples like these you will have to reflect on whether the situation is worth confronting and whether the other person's behavior is bearable..
If you are reactive, you will not handle the situation well and will act impulsively doing things that you will probably regret. Think carefully about what you will do or say before doing it.
Take a deep breath or count to ten to relax, control yourself and think carefully about the best way to act to get the results you want; think about pros and cons.
If you think you are out of control even if you have tried to relax or counted to ten, go to a place alone until you control yourself.
If you feel hurt by someone's behavior or words, try to see the situation differently. For example, you may think that your boss does not care about you or that he is very busy.
If you avoid taking other people's behavior personally, you can perceive their behavior more objectively.
People do what they do for their well-being, not for us.
Another way not to personalize is to put yourself in the shoes of other people: What would you do in their situation? For example: "it is normal that my partner does not have time from Monday to Friday, it must be very tiring to work 8 hours a day".
If someone behaves rude or violent, it is no excuse, what I want to explain to you is that preventing you from taking it personally will avoid escalating the discussion / conflict and will make you take more reasonable solutions.
There are two kinds of conflicts, that of task (work decisions, how to do a project, what color to choose for a marketing campaign ...) and personal (it focuses on the personal characteristics of the interlocutors).
It has been proven that task conflict to a medium degree is positive for creativity, innovation and for the quality of the work done..
However, personal conflict is always negative and taking a professional problem at work to something personal will only lead to escalation in the conflict and it will be increasingly difficult to go back.
There are people who communicate violently, not only verbally but with their non-verbal language; eye movement, challenging glances, finger pointing, violent gestures, etc..
Surely you have come across people who misinterpret you, attack you, tell you a personal defect, or are excessively negative, always focusing on what is wrong..
The goal of these people's communication is control, rather than dealing with problems and solving them, making a collective decision. In these cases, do not play the other person's game and ask questions to make them aware of the repercussions of what they ask:
Person with violent communication: "this is not going to work, I think you are directing it very badly"
Answer: “can you provide a solution?
Person with violent communication: "don't be stupid, bring it up yourself".
Answer: if you keep treating me disrespectfully I won't keep working / talking to you, is that what you want?
Another technique for attacking comments is to reply with an unexpected and funny comment or change the subject:
Person with violent communication: "stop interfering, you are doing it fatal".
Answer: “good idea, so I can rest. You sign up"?
Humor releases tension, disarms violent behavior and shows that you have greater social skills.
You: hello how are you?
Partner (does not notice you).
You: uff I imagine, you have to be well concentrated (in a humorous tone).
People who abuse psychologically at work, do so to people they perceive as weaker and more passive. Normally, when the victim defends himself, the abuser at work begins to correct his bad behavior.
To deal with these people, you must be sure that you have social support behind you, stand firm and do not tolerate the abuse because they will repeat it again.
The first thing is to try to solve the problem just by talking to the other person and using messages like "I, I don't work well if you treat me like that." Express yourself: to deal with a negative behavior from another person, communicate that it bothers you using this structure: behavior, feelings and needs. For example, in the case of a colleague who treats you badly:
“When you treat me like this I feel bad, to work well I need to feel good. What is it that leads you to behave like this?
Unfortunately, there will be people who are simply not interested in others and do not care to do harm. If the other person continues to behave the same or there is physical, psychological or verbal abuse, consult your superior or Human Resources.
When you talk to your boss or HR, ask him for advice and talk about the problem indirectly so that he perceives that you want to solve the problem yourself: “I'm having the problem that Manuel treats me badly and is rude at work. I don't want you to solve it although I would like you to give me some advice ".
Life does not end in your current job and if you have behaved correctly. Evaluate what work brings you in terms of happiness, what it brings you financially, if you have options to find another. If the pros win, focus on solving the problem.
If the cons win, focus on leaving your current job and looking for other solutions outside of it..
What other tips would you give for dealing with difficult people?
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