Fear is an emotion experienced when a threat, real or imagined, is perceived to exist in the present, future, or even past. When fear is not based on something real or truly life-threatening, it is causing you discomfort and preventing you from reaching your full potential..
That is precisely the great problem of not fighting fear; you become paralyzed and cannot grow as a person or achieve your personal goals. Learn how to overcome fear and controlling it will give you great advantages and results in your life:
With what you will learn in this article, you can begin to face and overcome fears as varied as: animals, public speaking, talking to people, emotional dependence, heights, going out, traveling alone, talking to women, talking with men… Can you eliminate a fear altogether? Some do, although having a little is not going to harm you. Really the important thing is to overcome it and not let it paralyze you.
If you work to manage and dominate your fears, you will have more freedom, you will increase your possibilities for personal development and you will stop having that unpleasant feeling of fear that prevents you from moving forward in your life.
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Can you not be afraid? Yes, although if you lose your fear of something that is dangerous it is not beneficial for your safety. Imagine that you are not afraid of driving too fast. You will be much more likely to have an accident.
When you are afraid of something, it is because having a first unpleasant experience with a situation, animal or person, you have felt anxiety and have escaped without facing it.
From that first experience, you have escaped again each time you have encountered a similar situation and thus avoid the crisis again, however, it is not the best way to to lose the fear.
On the other hand, there may be some fears that are innate, such as the fear of heights or the fear of speaking in public..
The only way to lose that fear is to face the stimuli that are avoided (public speaking, dogs, heights, people…), starting with simple tasks. As self-control increases, more difficult tasks are put on.
It is necessary to practice each task as many times as necessary to overcome the fear and control the anxiety. Therefore, regular practice is necessary..
The most used and most effective technique to overcome fear is live exposure. It is based on exposing yourself to the situations / things that cause you fear to, little by little, self-control and overcome them.
The main goal is for you to break the situation-anxiety-escape sequence. For example, breaking the sequence "have to give a presentation in class-anxiety-run away".
Therefore, you will get closer to what causes you fear.
If, for example, you are afraid to travel by bus alone, you will take a trip and try to overcome that anxiety.
When you are able to stay longer and have more control over yourself, you will face more difficult situations.
For you to be successful in facing your fear, you should follow these steps:
Note: I will use fear of public speaking as an example..
-Asking questions in public (being part of the public yourself).
-Answering questions in public (being part of the public yourself).
-Make presentations in public to 10-50 people.
-Make public presentations to more than 50 people.
-Talk to strangers.
-Talk to friends in front of other people.
-Talk to you -interacting- with the public (being you the one who makes the presentation).
1-Talk to friends in front of other people.
2-Talk to strangers.
3-Answer questions in public (being yourself part of the public).
4-Ask questions in public (being yourself part of the public).
5-Make presentations in public before 10-50 people.
6-Make presentations in public before more than 50 people.
7-Speak yourself -interacting- with the public (being you the one who makes the presentation).
That is, plan weekly tasks in which you expose yourself to those fears. Start with the situation that scares you the least, that is, situation 1 (talking to friends in front of other people). This is called in the professional world of psychologists as exposure therapy.
For example:
Ideally, it should be done 3-5 times a week. Longer sessions tend to produce better results than shorter ones.
It is recommended that you withdraw from the situation if the anxiety you feel is prominent. That is, you feel dizzy, heart rate racing, muscle tension, fear of losing control ...
If you feel uncomfortable but feel in control, you can continue to expose yourself to the situation..
If for example you have completed situation 1, give yourself a reward.
What is completing situation 1? This: having talked to friends - or acquaintances - in front of other people at least once a day and for a week.
When you complete it, put on a reward that you like. For example; see a movie you like, buy a t-shirt ...
What is completing situation 2? Talking to 4-5 strangers for a week.
When you complete it, put on a reward that you like. For example; see a movie you like, buy a t-shirt ...
Note: it is important that you do not reward yourself if you have not overcome the situations.
When you reach the most difficult grade, keep practicing to maintain the results, the lack of practice will make you return to the initial situation.
If for example you want to overcome the fear of swimming, do not do it alone and less if it is in the sea. Plan what can go wrong.
If your fear is traveling alone, get on an urban bus so that you can get off quickly if you get very nervous..
When you find yourself in the situations to overcome you can follow these advice:
-Take your time, no rush.
-Breathe slowly and deeply.
-If you find it difficult to control yourself, stop and start again.
-Reward your achievements.
-Try to stay in the situation.
For you to be successful in your task of overcome fear, you need to perform these tasks consistently and with increasing difficulty.
Remember that this technique can be done alone or accompanied. If you decide to go solo, remember that it is important to set realistic goals, be aware of what it is difficult for you to do, practice constantly, perform self-control (breathing) techniques and plan if you have any setbacks..
You usually have a resistance to being exposed to situations that cause anxiety.
To overcome that resistance:
-Specific information about your progress through the logs increases efficiency. That is, take note of your progress in a notebook.
-Breathing training is helpful in people with breathing problems. Check out these relaxation techniques.
-The appearance of catastrophic thoughts or images makes it necessary to use cognitive restructuring techniques (of thinking). Visit this article to modify your limiting beliefs.
-Cognitive techniques can increase the effectiveness of exposure; may increase motivation at first and relapse at the end.
If you see that it is something very difficult for you or something that you cannot control, ask someone for help, look at them and follow their instructions. If, for example, you try to speak in public or talk to someone, see first how your partner does it and later do it yourself..
It's about imagining yourself speaking in public, talking to the guy you like, or traveling alone on the bus. The problem is that the stimuli continue to cause fear in reality, therefore it is necessary to practice also live.
It can be useful: 1) when live exposure is difficult (fear of death, fear of flying, fear of storms) and 2) to motivate yourself when fear of the stimulus is excessive.
Virtual reality consists of generating three-dimensional environments in which the person has the sensation of being physically present and interacts with the environment in real time.
The advantages are: it allows control of what happens, you can build and manipulate the context and you feel more intimate. However, it cannot replace live exposure and the cost is high..
Ultimately, the most effective modality is self-exposure. Although at first it may be somewhat more "shocking" and it may be difficult to start, it will give you the best results..
And what are you doing to overcome your fears?
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