In the couple coaching Emphasis is placed on a very important aspect that must be taken into account in any relationship and that is the learn to live our own individuality without neglecting the bond with the couple since both are in constant evolution.
When you don't know how to deal with this situation, this can become the cause of tensions to appear, communication problems in the couple and other types of conflicts within the relationship that, if not resolved, can grow larger. That is why it becomes so important to learn to live with both aspects in the healthiest way possible. for our own well-being and that of the couple.
Because both members of the couple are in constant change, since throughout life we live a series of experiences that cause our ideas, beliefs, attitudes and our way of seeing life, to change. It is necessary that we can adapt to them in the healthiest and most balanced way possible.. Just as we are constantly updating ourselves, the same happens with the relationship of a couple.
Coaching perceives the relationship as a bond that has to be constantly updated so that, as we have seen, as it happens to us individually, we can also adapt to the changes that appear as a couple.
When the bond is not updated, not only do tensions begin to arise and the relationship is more conducive to deteriorating, but it also affects us individually since precisely the fact of having a healthy bond with the couple provides us with that feeling of stability and balance that we need to achieve our goals and objectives at the individual level as well as to adequately cover other types of needs.
When a couple has not updated their bond and has begun to become "obsolete", certain signs begin to appear that indicate that the relationship is not being fully functional.
That is, it may be that in a relationship one of the members of it is having considerable individual growth and begins to notice that the growth rate of the other is different. This can cause an imbalance to begin to occur and the two to become out of sync..
We know that we are not in tune with the couple when we realize that the needs and expectations of both are no longer the same. At this point is when deeper conflicts arise in the couple and if both do not stop, become aware of what is happening and try to work on the relationship, it can become extremely toxic and negative.
So that both members of the couple grow together and therefore the bond is updated and strengthened, the coaching proposes to carry out a thoughtful and practical work where both raise awareness about how they feel individually and in the relationship.
As well as that they determine what they are doing or not doing that is limiting them so that from there objectives can be set that will be worked individually and together to finally take action.
The objectives are established gradually and progressively. Couples will never be proposed a radical change, nor will they be made under any illusions that the situation will improve overnight because it is practically impossible and normal that it is not..
Like all change, it requires dedication, a continuous time and effort that if maintained in both parts, is giving the expected result. This is the reason why the coaching sessions themselves are not going to be of much use if at home and in the daily coexistence with the couple, what is learned is not carried out.
Coaching sessions are primarily practical since the way in which they work is quite experiential and varies from one couple to another since it adapts to the specific situation of each one.
For a couple relationship to work properly and in this case to recover from the imbalance that it has had, it is necessary, apart from both of you doing your part in the sessions and at home, that there is a real commitment and understanding towards the other.
That is, both members of the couple recognize that for a change in favor of the relationship to take place, they must also change certain attitudes that help them achieve it..
You cannot get different results if we keep doing exactly the same thing. And this is what both parties have to be clear about since in this case not only does one have to change their attitude but both have to act in favor of the relationship and make certain modifications that allow them to obtain positive results.
Understanding is also key in this process and it is an aspect on which coaching focuses a lot. This implies understand that they are both different people, that they do not have to think alike or agree on everything, however, despite that, there may be a point where they can reach agreements and really understand the way of feeling and thinking of the other.
When there is no understanding in the couple, it will be very difficult for problems to be solved and normal differences in a relationship since they will never be able to put themselves in the “shoes of the other” and this will be a great difficulty when it comes to maintaining a healthy balance.
All couples have the need to update their bond and work in favor of it since we are inevitably in constant change as people and therefore at the level of the couple relationship.
Couples coaching focuses on paying attention to all these changes and aims to achieve a balance that positively favors the growth of the relationship and of people at the individual level.
This cannot be achieved if there is no real commitment and genuine understanding that can develop throughout the sessions on the part of both members of the couple. Which will undoubtedly make it easier for them to face those normal problems and difficulties that they have to face throughout the relationship.
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