Non-Verbal Communication 10 Effective Ways to Improve It

The non-verbal communication  Non-verbal language is communication through the sending and receiving of non-verbal signals, without words. It includes the use of visual cues, such as body language, distance, voice, touch, and appearance. It can also include the use of time and contact with the eyes.

Throughout this article I will show 10 ways to improve your non-verbal communication, making you more aware and participate in it.

Have you ever stopped to think about everything you communicate non-verbally? Are you aware of the amount of information you transmit through gestures, expressions or your gaze? Would you know how to improve this communication?

In order to communicate, it is not enough for two people to talk to each other, but there are other factors to take into account that influence such communication more than you think, such as their attitudes or their body postures..

When is non-verbal communication used?

Non-verbal communication is used together with verbal communication and, although at first you may consider that gestures complement words, the truth is that words are a support for gestures.

This is because non-verbal communication is much more sincere and spontaneous than verbal communication. For this reason, you are able to detect that a person is sad or worried even if they verbally say otherwise..

Your gestures are directly connected to your emotions. In this way, you can use body language both to show your feelings and to camouflage them.

Such is the importance of non-verbal communication, that approximately 55% of the message you communicate is carried out through said communication, that is, more than half of the message you transmit is done without verbalizing a single word..

You communicate the rest of the message through words (7%) and paraverbal aspects (38%). These percentages have been extracted from the studies of the German psychologist Albert Mehrabian.

Non-verbal communication is necessary in all communication, in fact, it is inevitable to communicate in this way.

To check this, I propose an exercise: try to communicate a message to someone close to you without using non-verbal communication, that is, without gesturing, without transmitting with your eyes, without showing your attitude towards the subject ... is it difficult, right??

Non-verbal communication is an inherent part of your communication. In fact, the clothes you wear and even your body odor are part of your non-verbal communication..

Some examples are: the posture of your arms, your feet, how you smile, the dilation of your pupils, the distance at which you are from the other person ...

Non-verbal communication is also used in society to communicate laws or regulations, such as traffic signs or fire alarms..

Many of the new technologies limit communication to writing, preventing you from communicating through the paraverbal and the non-verbal.

This limitation is the cause of misunderstandings, discussions and even breaks when speaking through social networks or the telephone.

The problem is that what the sender wants to transmit is not properly captured, so the receiver has to freely interpret the message, with the confusion that this entails..

5 Things You Should Know About Non-verbal Communication

• The only non-verbal behaviors that are universal around the world are facial expressions of hatred, happiness, sadness, disgust, surprise, and fear. The rest of them are specific to each culture. For example, in the West, eye contact means respect and is well regarded. However, in the East it can mean romantic interest and there is a tendency to avoid.
• The ability to read non-verbal language is related to emotional intelligence. Many people with autism cannot read non-verbal cues. 
• Body language can be ambiguous and experts are not always right. Even if you have seen series and documentaries in which the non-verbal behavior of other people is interpreted, you cannot always be right. For example, you can touch your nose because it hurts, you have had a blow or you have a cold. It does not mean that if you touch your nose or put your hand over your mouth while speaking, you are lying..
• Most non-verbal language is unconscious. If you are uncomfortable listening to someone you will show non-verbal cues that you are not aware of (unless you are intentionally trying to control them).
• Micro expressions are better at predicting emotions and feelings. These are facial expressions that only last a fraction of a second and are signs of feeling an emotion or trying to suppress it.

The 10 ways to improve your non-verbal communication

Next, I am going to analyze 10 forms of non-verbal communication, through which you will be more aware of the importance of your gestures and attitudes, thus improving your non-verbal communication..

1. The look

The gaze is a very important element in non-verbal communication, since the eyes are the most expressive part of the face due to their intimate connection with emotions. Your role in communication is essential.

When you pay attention to something or someone your pupils dilate and when you dislike something they contract.

The time during which the gaze is maintained provides us with a lot of information about the other person.

Shy people are unable to hold their gaze for long, people who stare convey a challenging or aggressive attitude, and those who look directly into the eyes convey more positive feelings.

Regarding gender, women look more than men when they communicate because they feel less constrained to express their emotions and are more receptive to listening and understanding the emotions of others.

The differences between men and women are due to the fact that from a young age children have been taught to control and camouflage their feelings.

advice: when speaking and listening to others, try to look directly to make a better impression, avoiding that this look becomes challenging.

2. The smile

The smile helps you to empathize, to show your feelings and emotions and to detect those of others, but how do you know if someone is smiling at you sincerely or is faking it??

Very simple, people who smile sincerely and spontaneously move the muscles of the mouth, those that surround the eyes and raise their cheeks, while people who fake them only move the muscles of the mouth.

That is, people who smile sincerely have crow's feet marked while their cheekbones rise, while people who fake them do not.

advice: faking a smile is difficult, but detecting it not so much. Look at the people around you, how they smile and learn to detect between those who sincerely show you their feelings and those who do not.

3. The arms

The most common gesture you make with your arms is crossing them. With this gesture, what you create is a barrier with which you try to remove from yourself those undesirable circumstances that you do not like or bother you.

When you cross your arms, you transmit a defensive, negative attitude, and if you have closed fists, this attitude transforms into a hostile attitude..

The defense barrier that you create with your arms can also be created with everyday objects such as a book, a jacket, a bag ...

advice: if you want to detect if a person is on the defensive with you, look at their arms, as if you want to hide your anger or rejection towards someone, do not cross them.

4. The hands

In non-verbal communication, hands are very important, although many times you are not aware of it.

Showing the palms of the hands means truth, honesty, that you are not hiding anything. On the contrary, if you keep your hands in your pockets, that is, you do not show them, it means that you hide something.

However, if your hands are in your pockets but the thumb is sticking out or the thumb is in the pocket and the rest of the fingers are sticking out, it means that you have everything under control..

advice: if you want to make a good impression, show your hands, you don't have to do anything specific with them, just don't hide them to give a better image of yourself.

5. The legs

When you are sitting and cross your legs it symbolizes the same as when you cross your arms: a negative attitude towards something or someone.

The crossing of the arms is more negative than the crossing of the legs and if they already occur both at the same time, the defensive and negative attitude is more than evident.

Care must be taken when interpreting this gesture in women, as some of them cross their legs when sitting down because they believe that this posture is more elegant and feminine..

advice: As with the arms, knowing what the crossing of the legs means helps you both to detect defensive attitudes and to hide them.

6. The feet

The feet are a part of the body that we do not usually pay attention to, we pay more attention to the gestures of the face or hands before those of the
feet.

This is a mistake since feet do not lie, in fact they reveal more information than you might think at first..

For example, if you are standing and crossing one foot over the other, you transmit a feeling of closure towards others, and if you twist your foot from the side of the ankle outwards, it means that you are uncomfortable in the situation you find yourself in..

Regarding the direction of your feet, if you are talking to someone and instead of having both feet facing that person you have one facing to the side, it means that you want to leave, flee from that situation or stop talking to that person.

advice: if you learn to interpret what the feet say about a person, it will be easier to interact with him: you will know when he wants to leave, if he is uncomfortable or closed to others.

7. The greeting

We can greet each other in two different ways: with two kisses or with a handshake. The first greeting is used with people closest to you and the second with strangers.

The way you shake your hands says a lot about a person. If the grip is weak, what you show is passivity and a lack of confidence in yourself, just as if the grip is too strong, you show dominant and aggressive..

advice: the ideal is to give a squeeze that is between the two that we have just described, in such a way that you appear confident and sure of yourself.

8. Personal space

The space you establish when communicating with another person is very important.

Edward Hall, an American anthropologist, describes four different types of distances:

• Intimate distance: between 15 and 45 cm. This distance is established only with people you trust and with whom you are emotionally attached..
• Personal distance: between 46 and 120 cm. It is the distance you keep at a party, at work, in friendly conversations ...
• Social distance: between 120 and 360 cm. It is the distance that you establish with strangers with whom you have no relationship, such as the plumber.
• Public distance: more than 360 cm. It is the distance at which you place yourself when you are going to speak in public before a group of people.

advice: the ideal is to respect the personal space of the other person depending on the type of relationship you have so that the other does not feel invaded or intimidated.

9. Body posture

The body posture you adopt greatly influences the first impressions you make.

For example, if you enter a room with your head high and your chest upright, you will show a confident and confident personality and, conversely, if you enter with your head and shoulders slumped, what you convey is insecurity..

advice: reflect on the type of posture you usually adopt and learn to show yourself safe in front of others through your body.

10. The image

Image, like body posture, greatly influences first impressions.

It is very important to have a careful and appropriate image to the situations you face every day, that is, you do not go the same dress to a job interview as when you go out to party with friends.

advice: having an appropriate and correct image for the situation opens many doors. Take care of your physical appearance and remember that "does not exist a second chance to make a good first impression ".

"By the fingerprints of a man, by the sleeves of his coat, by his boots, by the knees of his pants, by the calluses on his fingers, by his expression, by the cuffs of his shirt, by his movements ... each one one of those things easily reveals a man's intentions. That all this together does not shed light on the competent interrogator is practically inconceivable”. Sherlock Holmes.

The communication

Communication is the process by which information is transmitted and exchanged between a sender and a receiver.

Today we live in a society in which we communicate constantly, whether it is speaking face to face, by phone, by email, through instant messaging ... and it is normal, since human beings are sociable by nature.

Within communication we can differentiate between:

• Verbal communication.
• Paraverbal communication.
• Non-verbal communication.

Verbal communication is what you do orally and in writing.

Paraverbal communication refers to how you say things, that is, what type of intonation you use, what speed, what volume, what rhythm, what emphasis ... This type of communication allows you, for example, to ask, exclaim or be ironic.

Non-verbal communication occurs through cues and signs that lack a verbal syntactic structure and is the type of communication that I am going to focus on throughout this article..

When we talk about non-verbal communication we refer to the looks, gestures, postures, attitudes, states, body movements ... that you show when you communicate.

In short: verbal communication is what you say, paraverbal is how you say it and non-verbal is what you convey. The set of these three types of communication allows you to correctly get your message to the receiver.

When some type of communication fails, the most likely thing is that the person to whom you want to transmit the message will receive it incorrectly, leading to misunderstandings and confusion.

References

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   Cengage Learning.
4. Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., Redmond, M. V., Geerinck, T. M., Wiseman, L. S. (2015). Interpersonal Communication. Relating to Others. (6 ^th edition). Toronto: Pearson.
5. Feldman, R. S. (2014). Applications of Nonverbal Behavioral Theories and Research. New York: Psychology press.
6. Manusov, V. L. (2009). The Sourcebook of Nonverbal Measures: Going Beyond Words. New York: Routledge.
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