The grief in children it can be especially coping. Faced with the loss of a loved one, we all experience a series of negative symptoms such as sadness or anger; but the little ones often have even more problems than adults to deal with these types of situations.
Depending on the age of children, what they can understand about death varies greatly. Apart from this, their life experiences, their education and their personality will modify the way in which the little ones cope with the loss of someone close to them..
Helping children to overcome this difficult life experience can be very difficult, especially since it is necessary to deal with the grieving process itself at the same time..
However, doing it correctly is essential to help them cope with this situation in the best way and recover as soon as possible..
In this article we will see the form that grief generally takes in children, as well as some of the best activities that can be done with them to help them cope with this situation..
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The characteristics of grief depend very much on the age and experience of the people who experience it. Therefore, the most common thing when talking about this process in children is to divide it according to the stage of development they are going through..
Depending on the age of the little ones, some of their characteristics and ways of thinking can make it easier or more difficult for them to cope with the loss of a loved one. Next we will see what are the most common symptoms.
Younger children are not capable of understanding the concept of death; However, they may experience a feeling of loss from someone close to them..
Therefore, it is common for infants of this age to ask where the person who has died is, and ask him to return because they miss him..
In the minds of children under the age of two, death equates to separation; and they often blame the person who has left for abandoning them, no matter how hard they try to explain what happened.
Children at this stage of development are able to better understand what death means, but have very limited vision of it.
Due to their way of interpreting the world (known as magical thinking), they generally believe that the person who has passed away may come back to life over time..
In general, children under the age of six may partially understand what has happened, but will ask the same questions over and over again because they do not really understand the situation.
On the other hand, pain and loss can often cause them to suffer a temporary setback in their development. An example would be the sudden loss of toilet training even if they had previously mastered this skill..
Children between six and nine years old are already able to distinguish magical thinking from reality, and understand the consequences and reality of death.
However, other feelings often appear, such as guilt or anger, that children cannot process correctly..
The death of a loved one at this age can be very traumatic for children. Even though they may not seem to want to talk about it, it is usually best to try to help them cope with the loss as soon as possible; and if necessary, going to a professional can be a good idea.
Something that should not be done under any circumstances is to hide what happened to a child of this age, since usually they will realize that something is happening.
Because of this, if this attitude is taken they will feel excluded and will think that they are not trusted, which will make the situation worse most of the time..
By the time children reach this stage, they can usually understand death in the same way that adults do. However, it is necessary to help them process the grief, since their emotional capacities may not be fully developed..
Older children and adolescents may feel the need to develop their own philosophy of life in the face of the death of a loved one; and will often begin to ask existential questions, which will vary according to their age and ability.
Helping children cope with grief is essential so that they can overcome this difficult situation properly. Fortunately, there are many tools that can be used at home for this purpose..
Stories are a great way to explain the concept of death to children regardless of their age. Using a language that is close and that they can understand, and in a safe way, this tool helps the little ones to break some of their myths about the loss of a loved one and to understand what they are feeling.
In addition, seeing identifiable characters facing a life situation similar to their own usually helps them better cope with their own emotions..
Luckily, there are many traditional and modern tales that have this specific goal in mind..
Along the same lines, using children's movies to teach children what death really means and what they are feeling can be very effective in helping them cope with grief..
Many traditional films include messages about this vital event, so it is relatively easy to find feature films that can be useful to talk with children about the topic..
However, for movies to be truly effective, you need to talk to children about their message and answer any questions they may have..
Lastly, doing classroom activities about death and what it really means can be very beneficial for children..
These workshops can also focus on the most common feelings that little ones may experience, to help them normalize and process them properly..
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