Being able to please your partner in bed is very important for most men, that is why many fear the so-called “trigger”, which is nothing other than the momentary and sporadic loss of erection during sexual intercourse. It is estimated that around half of all men will suffer from it at some point in their lives.
Erection is the automatic physiological response that the male body has when it receives erotic stimuli. In turn, the male sets in motion a set of expectations and beliefs about what should happen at that moment. The problem occurs when the man is subjected to pressure with threatening thoughts about whether he is not up to what he thinks his partner wants or needs, this level of demand and the fear of not measuring up makes him secrete adrenaline and this creates a vascular contraction with which the man will lose his erection. Although in general, it tends to occur occasionally, it is still an uncomfortable situation since it can put into question the virility of the man who suffers the episode.
No, having a "trigger" does not mean being impotent, since impotence is characterized by the loss of permanent erection. Even so, if the triggers begin to occur regularly, help should be sought to discover what is the cause of the problem.
Normally, men tend to worry about the trigger since they understand it as a lack of virility. But obsessing over it will only make it happen again in the new sexual encounter. The more pressure and expectations the man puts in this encounter, the more likely it will happen again..
There are different reasons that can lead to this lack of erection, both physical and psychological;
Tobacco, excessive drinking, arterial disease or hormonal causes are the most frequent physical factors. It can also be related to poor diet.
They are the most common factors. They involve from the stress and anxiety that economic and / or family problems can cause, to the pressure suffered by some men due to the fear of not meeting expectations in the intimate encounter. One of the main reasons is the lack of communication with the partner. Bad previous experiences can also generate anticipatory anxiety that the situation will not turn out well..
There are also men who suffer this loss of erection when they have to use a condom, since it generates negative attitudes. It occurs due to the interruption of sexual intercourse to put on the condom, since if at any time they have had difficulties in its placement, they will anticipate such difficulty again and this will cause the erection to fall. In addition, there is the belief that the condom removes sensitivity, when really the sexual organ is the brain and it is this that has to be stimulated so that the man has pleasant sensations.
Sexual socialization is the ideas, knowledge and values about sexuality that we acquire while living in society. The first source of socialization will be parents, followed by school and, as they grow up, these sources will be friends and the media. This socialization includes messages referring to topics and expectations of how sexual relations should work. The transmission of this information can sometimes be very subtle and ambiguous messages, which can create significant sources of confusion..
Thus, many myths that men have assumed about what it means to “be a real man”, in reality they are nothing more than myths fed by films and some media that all they do is produce insecurity in many men.
To solve the problem of the "trigger" you have to know the cause that originates it. One aspect, for example, is personality type. According to studies, very perfectionist subjects, with a tendency to worry excessively, very demanding with themselves and who tend to have anxiety in other facets of their lives, are candidates for this problem. In fact, elevated anxiety levels are correlated with greater difficulties in your sexual relationships in general. Experts recommend not focusing on genitality and not seeing sex as a test to pass but as a way to experience pleasurable sensations with another person.
Communication with your partner will help us reduce and overcome these uncomfortable moments. It is important to know ourselves sexually and to know how to communicate what you like and what you don't like to your partner. The "if you love me you should know what I like" is not true. We cannot leave our pleasure in the hands of the other, neither men nor women.
Finally, the best way to find a solution is to prevent the problem from becoming chronic, seek help as soon as possible so that the intervention is as short as possible. Do not be afraid to go to the specialist if the situation repeats itself over time more than we would like.