Surely at some point you have heard someone say "you have Peter Pan syndrome ", But have you really stopped to think about what this syndrome so well known in our world today consists of??
Peter Pan syndrome is characterized by emotional immaturity. These are people who renounce maturity for the eternal and desired youth; they feel like children, they live like children and want to be understood as children.
It is not a late adolescence that will sooner or later disappear, but rather a trauma that blocks the child's emotional maturity and it becomes a pathology in the adult.
They are generally narcissistic, self-centered, rebellious people, who avoid their responsibilities by blaming others and fleeing from commitment. In a first contact, they radiate authentic well-being, but underneath that facade of security, of constant happiness and of being "the soul of all parties", they hide insecure and emotionally dependent people.
There is no specific age, since we can meet people of 30, 40, 50 ... In the sentimental field, they tend to have superficial and generally unstable relationships, they are hedonists, they constantly seek their pleasure. His motto in life is "Carpe Diem", its status translates into a "Sweet temptation between Neverland and the Real World".
Peter Pan syndrome, entails emotional and behavioral disturbances. On an emotional level, states of anxiety and sadness, being able to develop depressive states if they are not treated by a professional.
At the same time, they are people with a low self-esteem; since they feel little accomplished and not assuming responsibilities causes them neither to enjoy the challenges nor to achieve them; with which it becomes a vicious cycle of frustration. Many times, to avoid these feelings of frustration and out of guilt, they look for stimuli that are so attractive to them that at times they can make them escape from their reality; but after a while they also get tired of this type of "entertainment". They are personalities that constantly seek "strong emotions".
Although it is more characteristic in men, it also occurs in women, although in fewer numbers. But, we also have to emphasize that ALWAYS behind a Peter Pan, there is a Wendy who enhances this Peter Pan.
This leads us to roughly describe what it means to be a Wendy. Often they are women with an excess of concern for the welfare of others, they live for and to care for and / or protect the other. Are the calls "Mothers of their partners"
These behaviors are accompanied by feelings of insecurity, inferiority, fear of rejection or abandonment, and this makes them forgive and justify everything. They turn into mother and wife, and justify the informality of their partners.
For Wendy syndrome to be authentic, the presence of the fear of abandonment.
After observing people with this type of pathology, I asked myself the following question: is it related? attachment and parenting style in childhood with the development of these patterns? Well the answer is loud and clear: YES.
This syndrome is due to several factors such as personality traits, educational style, style of coping with problems... The Peter Pan Syndrome has a lot to do with childhood, and it is that a Peter Pan who has had a happy childhood, usually idealizes it and looks for a way to immortalize those feelings, living a constant childhood. But, in the same way, those who did not have an affective style in their childhood will look for the childhood they did not have..
As parents, we have a responsibility to prevent our children from many dangers, but sometimes we are part of that danger. The Peter Pan Syndrome has to do with the educational style offered in childhood, therefore we cannot give our children the image of an ideal world without problems, the never never world, because we will be creating future Peter Pan.
Children must learn to assume their own responsibilities, to grow up with tolerance for frustration ... and not with bells, magic dust or fairies. But be careful, everything in its proper measure. Since a hostile educational style, with the absence of affectivity, also enhances the appearance of this syndrome.
“Children who grow up wrapped in affection smile more and are kinder. Generally, they are more balanced ”(Dalai Lama)
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