There are three styles of communicating with people, each of them impacts our human relationships and ourselves differently..
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It is a communication style of people who avoid showing their feelings or thoughts for fear of being rejected or misunderstood or to offend other people.
They undervalue their own opinions and needs and give a higher value than those of others.
They do not defend your interests, you do what you are told no matter what you think.
Your friend takes about three times she leaves you standing in the place where they were to meet for coffee, each time, she does not notify you in advance that she will not be able to arrive, after the time they were to meet, she sends you a message, to apologize ... You end up telling him that there is no problem ... but inside you are left with discomfort.
This style of communication is situated in a plane opposite to passivity, characterized by the overvaluation of personal opinions and feelings, ignoring or even despising those of others..
They think that if they don't behave like this, they are too vulnerable.
They position behavior patterns in terms of winning losing.
They think that there are people who deserve to be punished, that their voice and opinions are not worth it.
Fight, accuse, interrupt, threaten, attack others without taking their feelings into account. Tendency to counterattack.
A woman asks her husband to help her put the dishes on the table, as they are waiting for dinner guests, the husband willing to help his wife, helps him put the dishes ... when suddenly, he drops a plate, the enraged wife tells him, You are clumsy, you are never careful!!
Now, let's talk about assertiveness, the most favorable and healthy communication style, for you and to establish more constructive and healthy relationships with other people..
Assertiveness is a communication behavior in which the person neither attacks nor submits to the will of other people, but rather expresses their convictions and defends their rights.
It is a category of communication linked to high self-esteem and that can be learned as part of a broad process of emotional development. It is defined as a form of conscious, congruent, clear, direct and balanced expression, whose purpose is to communicate our ideas and feelings or defend our legitimate rights without the intention of hurting, acting from an inner state of self-confidence, instead of limiting emotionality. typical of anxiety, guilt or anger.
Assertiveness prevents us from being manipulated by others in any aspect in addition to valuing and respecting others reciprocally.
All people have the right to be treated with courtesy and respect.
When we defend our rights we respect ourselves and obtain the respect of others.
When we do what is right for us, we feel better about ourselves and have a more authentic and satisfying relationship with other people as well..
By sacrificing our rights, we are training other people to treat us incorrectly..
We will earn a lot from life if we are free and capable of defending our rights while promoting the same rights in other people. We have the right to express ourselves as long as we do not violate the rights of other people. If we do not tell others how their behavior affects us, we are denying them the opportunity to change.
Everyone benefits from assertive behavior.
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