Gerascophobia Fear of getting old

I have special friends, full of positive energy, fighters, independent, cute. I have others who have managed to shine professionally, who made a family, who succeeded in educating their children and today are good people. Another group are young, fresh, full of desire to "eat the world." Almost all (because ignorance hides in absolutism) share a fear ... growing old.

It's a irrational fear, we agree, it has not been possible to prove that it is a gender problem, we know that it is another stage of life, we have a lot of myths about old age when we are younger ... and we fight against them every birthday, despite of our rational and often intelligent plot system, we continue to fear that we will grow old, lose our youth, stay alone, die, be forgotten.

Paraphrasing a German social science scientist "nothing makes us age faster than incessantly thinking about getting old ".

It is not a simple "truism" truth., we waste life being afraid, thinking about tomorrow, always wanting to "fit in", to be part of the select group of successful people, having for this indicators that societies impose on us and we let ourselves be carried away, despite the IQ, the books and courses we have received.

None of that frees us from wrong irrational beliefs and disturbing thoughts (categories of rational emotional therapies) that we rarely question ourselves and that stain aging that gray and black with which we paint negative things. A lot has been written about that, about the crisis of the 40s as a preamble, about the feminine and masculine "pausias", and of course, every fear that is respected could not be without a phobia.

Gerascophobia

It is not simply the fear of aging, which many people have and which they try to overcome through cosmetic surgeries and beauty treatments., is defined as a persistent, abnormal and unwarranted fear of aging.

This means that a certain level of fear, of attempts to maintain youth and its advantages, is natural, gerascophobia is an extreme case that brings a lot of unhappiness to those who suffer from it because it is related to a lot of distress, anxiety disorders, and depression, the person is unable to accept what he is seeing in the mirror and this produces panic and great hopelessness invades him. Like all phobia, it is associated with complex psychiatric conditions. It is important to diagnose it and treat it accordingly.

They are more prone to:

• Anxious, hysterical (the term abandoned the manuals but not practical life) or narcissistic people, who, due to their overvaluation of material goods and the achievement of goals or success in life, experience problems dealing with the loss of beauty, power, seduction and riches, which can be associated with old age.
• People who suffer from other phobias, fears or anxieties.
• People who experience lack of personal fulfillment, frustration, low self-esteem, problematic socioeconomic circumstances.

It does not go unnoticed ...

It can start at an early age such as thirty, where the first little wrinkles make their appearance.

Gerascophobes, despite knowing or suspecting the irrationality of their concerns about old age, lack the ability to overcome fears on their own. They do not know how not to be afraid on their own. Therapy is the most common method of addressing the problem.

This may include cognitive behavioral therapy, Affective desensitization, and other types of psychotherapy that can help the patient develop self-confidence and worry less about a youthful appearance, concomitantly in many cases are administered anxiolytics to reduce and control the anxiety caused by the phobia.

I think that of the friends that I mentioned at the beginning, very few can suffer from gerascophobia, for their "natural" fears about old age, I also share:

• The most important thing to assume old age is to prepare from a young age, not from the perspective of living and worrying excessively about the future, since this is not healthy either, but from knowing first of all that the myths and negative ideas that spread about old age are false, and many are born from lucrative businesses such as are the cosmetic and aesthetic treatment industries, If you do not have adequate self-esteem, there is no surgery that will make you happy, Well, it corrects a wrinkle here and finds another physical problem in another place, it is something that does not end because it is inevitable that the body changes and changes a lot, advertising and consumerism, without the intention of demonizing them, have created the need in people of battling aging, when the real battle is to reach this stage with an adequate quality of life and feeling fulfilled and useful, of course, these market segments have no recipe for that.

• Take care of physical and mental health, maintain diversity of interests, cultivate interpersonal relationships, friends, hobbies, dedicate time to oneself so that the losses of loved ones that take place in old age are not the cause of social isolation or of losing the meaning of life. From young people we must work on our appreciation of ourselves (self-esteem), which is something that begins to form from a young age and that develops throughout life. Then the supposedly most answered question of all appears How do i do it?

The first is to know ourselves well and not demand more than the account, accept our limitations and not be afraid to keep trying when something does not go as we wanted, perfectionism destroys self-esteem as well as the irrational belief that everything has to turn out well or that All of us who love have to love us, it doesn't have to be like that, it's something you would like but if it doesn't happen, it's not the end of the world.

The second it is not obsessively comparing oneself with others because we are all different, sometimes we value what is foreign as success, lightly, by appearances. Pretending what you are not, is very exhausting and in the end you always leave the situation damaged, you are a unique person, very valuable, but you have to believe it first and behave as such, not from pride and arrogance, but from respect and tolerance with other people.

The third It is to set goals and objectives in life that are realistic, for you, that you can achieve them based on your strengths and weaknesses and your effort, although it is true that you have to constantly overcome yourself, this does not imply craving too much for something that you know in advance that cannot be achieved due to the circumstances, its characteristics or other reasons, this will only make the failure more durable.

Maintaining a positive attitude towards life is not always being happy or never suffering, but knowing that joy and suffering are both part of life and that recovering is what matters, when you accumulate frustrations, things you wanted and did not want. could, anger, resentments, guilt, because he will not be able to move on and will be ruled by his past.

There are cases in which you do not know how to get out of painful situations, in which time passes and you feel unable to continue with your life, do not hesitate to seek professional help, this is the most intelligent behavior you can have, it means that you care about your health and move on.

This is not a life recipe, I personally and professionally detest them, they show at every step to be empty and superficial, it is only a contribution to the problem, serious, of human unhappiness caused by so many reasons that in the long run ... they are not so significant.

I want to leave you with a phrase that I really like, perhaps some of you know it in another of its versions, it says more or less: “in life you have to have 3 fundamental things: value… To change the things that can be changed, serenity… To accept the things that cannot be changed and intelligence… To know when to have serenity and when to be courageous. "

My friends, aging is natural and not at all a misfortune, misfortune is not setting goals in life that can be achieved, misfortune is isolating yourself from loved ones and living in self-pity, feeling sorry for who we are, blaming Others, thinking about the other life in which we can grow everything that we could not in this one because of those human miseries painted with greed and individualism, the misfortune is to let life pass us by and give up before the time, being young is not it is a virtue, it is a stage of life like the others. They all have their advantages, focus on that, put aside the syndromes of the "almighty", the "untouchable" and the "I already know all that", cultivate your authenticity, yours is unlike any other and you do not crave it , precisely in that, lies all its value.

Bibliographic references:

Dryden, W., Ellis, A. (1987): The practice of rational-emotive therapy. Springer. New York.

Ellis, A. (2000): My theory on Psychotherapy.

Lic. Ivette B. Martínez Díaz. Faculty of Psychology. University of Havana.