The socio-emotional skills are the learned behaviors that we carry out when we interact with people around us, through the expression of our feelings, attitudes, rights or opinions. Examples of these are empathy, self-awareness or self-control.
Thus, a person with optimal socio-emotional skills will show dexterity when it comes to relating and behaving appropriately according to certain objectives in various situations..
In this article, I'm going to show you some of the most important social-emotional skills and how to develop them, emphasizing the school environment at an early age, since the sooner these skills are established, the person will grow more optimally.
Within the socio-emotional skills there are basic skills (listening, starting a conversation, asking a question, thanking, introducing yourself, etc.) and more developed skills (taking initiatives, making decisions, setting goals or solving problems according to their importance, among others).
In order to develop the latter, it is necessary to begin with training to acquire the former..
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The socio-emotional skills in children focus on their adaptation to the family, school, more direct environment, etc..
The first years are key to cementing the personality of the person, so if the adequate capacities are not developed to adapt to the social environment, it is most likely that it will result in an individual with low self-esteem and with problems to relate.
Self-control, assertive communication, conflict resolution or empathy are some of the capacities and emotions that the family and the educational system must manage in children to become an individual adapted to society.
It should be noted that until a few decades ago, in the school environment the intellectual aspects prevailed over the socio-emotional, the latter being practically non-existent. There was the concept that the formative success of a person was to develop his cognitive system.
In the 21st century, pedagogical methods more focused on social skills have been gaining prominence.
This concept refers to knowing what we are feeling at each moment, making realistic evaluations in relation to our own abilities and recognizing our strengths, limitations and having a connection with our own feelings. In this way, we will be realistic when setting our objectives..
It is the understanding that others are also feeling and being able to adopt their different perspectives, getting to interact positively with various groups. It is knowing that we are not alone and that just as we have rights, we also have duties.
This competence includes learning to identify and understand the thoughts and feelings of others and to understand that thanks to diversity, complementarity in society is possible..
It is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others and experience the emotions that others are experiencing..
It is the style of communication by which the person respects himself and his rights, at the same time as he does with others.
It is the ability to recover from difficult, stressful or traumatic events. For example, a child who regains his physical and mental energy after going through the divorce of his parents.
It is the ability to continue acting to achieve medium or long-term goals. You persevere when you do not have desired results, but still you continue to act to try to achieve the desired goal.
It is about the ability to coordinate with other people to achieve a common goal. For example, you can collaborate with a group of people to achieve a peaceful coexistence within a community.
Identify our emotions and use them as facilitating factors of the activities that we intend to carry out and not that they act as interference. Learn to be aware of the need to delay rewards to achieve certain goals and develop perseverance to tolerate frustration and difficulties.
In this competition it is important to learn to manage emotions as well as to set short and long-term goals and work towards their achievement..
For this competence it is essential to teach the child to accurately assess risks. Knowing how to make decisions taking into account all the relevant factors, as well as assessing the possible consequences of alternative actions, assuming responsibility for each action and respecting the other.
Sometimes making decisions is not an easy task, since doubting about the most appropriate option can produce feelings of anguish.
Make use of emotions to carry out effective, healthy and reinforcing relationships that are based on cooperation. Resistance to inappropriate social pressures. Negotiate solutions to conflicts and learn to ask for help when needed.
To do this, the child will be taught the use of verbal and non-verbal skills to communicate with others and to build healthy relationships with other people and / or groups. In this competition, it is also important to teach the subject of negotiation in order to resolve conflicts in which both parties benefit..
One of the essential environments for the development of socio-emotional skills is educational, since these skills must be started at an early age.
Education has as its main function the social adaptation of the individual. This entails promoting their integration into society through socialization, through which each subject, through interaction with others, develops different ways of feeling, thinking and acting that are essential for appropriate participation in society..
Currently, in developed societies there are continuous changes that require continuous readjustment of the individual. For this reason, it is vitally important to develop the individual's adaptability and flexibility of the subjects in order to be able to mold ourselves according to the needs that arise..
However, in relation to the inclusion of the development of socio-emotional skills and emotional intelligence in school, it must be taken into account that the resources we have at school as well as the time that children spend in it are limited.
There are two options to focus on to work on skills:
Choosing one option or another will be guided by the demand that arises. Emotional skills training programs can be designed in a structured or semi-structured way.
In the latter, there is more possibility to give way to improvisation, to be able to work adapting to each situation and person in particular.
Through group work on social-emotional skills, we can fully address training in general skills with exercises aimed at reducing anxiety, cognitive restructuring and solving the specific problems presented by each member of the group..
There are various emotional skills, such as the ability to plan and deliberate, control and evaluate the course of action, which are interrelated.
If all training included these skills, the improvement of deficiencies in these would facilitate self-knowledge on the part of the person carrying out the training, in addition to improving their ability to interact with others.
Some of the most important activities from an early age of the child are cooperative learning or discussion groups as a teaching methodology. This methodology provides learning in the child to interact with their peers.
Socio-emotional skills are vital for the proper development of the individual and for relating to their environment. Thanks to these tools:
- Better control of emotions is possible. This assumes that emotional responses are not triggered (for example anxiety) or deactivated (depression).
- With good control of emotions, decision-making is done responsibly, avoiding risky behaviors. In addition, it helps to focus the attention of the objectives.
- It helps to enrich the social environment, making it richer and healthier. This has very positive consequences such as better academic and professional performance, as well as a reduction in the chances of acquiring vices (drugs) or developing negative behaviors (violence).
- Improves self-esteem and confidence, resulting in less emotional stress.
- Causes well-being.
It is a very useful exercise consists of working all the skills. In it, the experiences that are presented to him on a day-to-day basis and the emotions that arouse emotional discomfort will be added (emotional diary).
Once the general skills training period is over, time is devoted to analyzing the various problem situations that these individuals have noted in their diary and a group approach is carried out..
A good exercise to learn to develop assertiveness is to write in a notebook 5 things that you approve of your physical image and 5 things of your way of being that you like. If you are not able to find them yourself, you can ask friends or family.
Finally, it is about reviewing the lists and thinking that if that person knew someone with those characteristics, they would surely be delighted to meet them.
This exercise consists of writing down some ideas about the ways in which people make decisions. Next, we reflect on the risks, advantages and disadvantages and possible consequences of each of the forms that have been indicated above..
A person performs good active listening when he is able to pay attention in an intentional way, with empathy knowing how to put himself in the place of the other.
To perform this exercise, we will need two people. One will tell a story that is relatively important to him and the other will listen, although putting many impediments to communication: he will give advice without being asked by the speaker, he will talk to someone else while the other continues to talk to him, he will interrupt and change the subject, he will laugh without coming to mind, etc..
In a new scene, you begin to tell a problem that you care to solve and the person who listens will do so by asking clarifying questions, lets you know that you understand, looks at your face and nods.
Faced with these two very different situations, which one is more positive? In which situation have we implemented communication skills and active listening? With this exercise, it is intended to make the individual see the importance of effective communication.
It is considered one of the most effective techniques for improving social skills. This consists of starting the communication focusing on a positive aspect, then continuing with an aspect that could be improved and finally ending with some encouraging words for change such as: I know that you are putting a lot of effort into changing your attitude and it shows because you have improved about it.
Self-centered messages should be used to give our opinion or express our beliefs on an issue to the other person..
We will use them instead of making generalizations, since what is in a certain way for oneself does not have to be the same for the other because each point of view is subjective. “I think that….”, “I think that…”, “In my opinion…”.
When we carry out these skills learning in the early ages, we grow up to be socially and emotionally competent people, with self-awareness and positive attitudes both towards ourselves and towards others..
So the sooner social-emotional skills are worked on, the sooner they will develop and benefit in the life of each individual..
In this way, we will know our strengths and grow optimistic about our future. We will be able to manage our emotions and achieve our objectives and goals and solve problems effectively and responsibly.
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