Christmas is a different time. Something changes in the environment and in people's minds as this important date approaches. Some show their joy, others their disagreement. They are a few days that do not leave anyone indifferent. What happens at Christmas? Or rather, what happens to us at Christmas? What are the emotional implications of Christmas?
Absence, presence, meetings, gifts, commitments, laughter, crying, conflicts, tensions, hypocrisy, solidarity, love, consumerism ... This hodgepodge of concepts could go on ad infinitum since everyone could add their own Christmas concepts.
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One of the first aspects to highlight of the emotional implications of Christmas is the absences. Those loved ones who are no longer with us. Christmas is a family reunion date. Those who have not seen each other for the whole year meet again, and those who see each other often bond more. In this way, when someone is missing, their absence is more noticeable.
These absences usually cause sadness, although each one processes it in their own way. In fact, there are families that stop performing certain acts when one of the relatives is gone. This aspect, born of reluctance and discouragement, could be classified as dysfunctional, since it feeds back the circle of sadness. It is best to stick with family traditions. As we all know, "those who have left would surely love to see us happy".
Other notable but less painful absences are those of relatives who live far away and cannot be reunited with the family. In these cases, it is best to be aware that the important thing is the well-being of the family member. And that, if we think about it coldly, not because it is Christmas there is more obligation to see each other. Christmas is full of conditions and we will address this topic throughout the article. There is a very strong conditioning between these dates and the fact of meeting "yes or yes". And when it is not possible, discomfort is created.
Among the emotional implications of Christmas the War of the Lights also comes into play. Little by little, more lights are invading us in the city. The Christmas lights make an appearance before the holidays arrive, even in some cities before December. What's the point of this? Consume.
A religious festival like Christmas has suffered a very strong conditioning to consumerism. On these dates we give gifts for Santa Claus and for Kings. We also increased purchases of sporadic gifts, and above all, in food. We do not settle for just any type of food, but seafood predominates, the most expensive meats ... We have associated Christmas with consuming.
So, the sooner they put us in the Christmas mood with the lights, the sooner we start spending. The funny thing is that a large majority of people know it, but fall into the trap and spend more than in the rest of the year.
Christmas is tender, it makes us better people, more supportive and loving. These emotional implications of Christmas are laudable but fleeting. One wonders if we really become more loving or is it a false love. Or more than a false love, a momentary love. From Buddhism love is the aspiration and desire that all beings be happy and have the causes of happiness.
At Christmas, if we look sincerely, we only look for our own. We are more generous, friendlier and more empathetic. The point is, we may get more loving, but only during the holidays. Then each one to his own until the following year. Buddhist Masters like Lama Rinchen repeat over and over again: "What you have learned in the monastery, the love and compassion that you have practiced, must go beyond the walls of this place and not just stay here. It is easy to be generous in a conducive environment. The difficult thing is to be it in the day to day ".
These affirmations can also lead to the feeling of love and solidarity that encompasses us at Christmas. It is easy to be loving and generous at Christmas, we are conditioned to it. The difficult thing is to be it the rest of the year. Once the dates pass, the joy, the generosity, and "everything that was given" disappears. In this way, more than hypocrisy, as many call this attitude, perhaps it would be more correct to call it "conditioned punctual love".
The two phrases I hear the most at Christmas are two: "And now what gift for me?" and "I do not like that they give me anything because they put me in a commitment." As mentioned previously, Christmas has suffered a very strong conditioning in relation to consumption. Being aware of this we have already taken a step. So, if someone gives us something it is because they really want to do it, then we should not be forced to return the gift.
"As long as the general population is passive, apathetic and diverted towards consumerism or hatred of the vulnerable, the powerful will be able to do what they want, and those who survive will stay to contemplate the result. -Noam Chomsky-
Similarly, we are also not obliged to give away anything to anyone. There are very large families that every year make an economic effort to give gifts to the whole family. And it is that one thing is to celebrate a religious holiday and another to leave your pocket trembling. There is no meaning between one thing and the other, right? What connection binds it?
As Henao and Córdoba (2007) state, "a consumer society is not one in which people consume, […] but one that has come to be called a consumer society because in it consumption is the central dynamic of social life, and very especially the consumption of merchandise not necessary for survival ".
Thus, as Henao and Córdoba report, the central dynamic at Christmas, apart from family gatherings, is consumption. Above all, because the vast majority of gifts are not necessary for our survival. These authors also affirm that consuming is about a set of sociocultural processes. According to them "it is not individual needs that determine what, how and who consume." In this way they show that society and culture determine our consumer behavior, in this case, massive.Despite the somewhat critical message of this article, it does not mean that at Christmas you can enjoy and have some other details. However, always being aware that it is an imposed social behavior of which we are conscious and unconscious victims.
It is an ideal time for the love that we distil and the generosity that we appear to carry over to the rest of the year. Carrying out loving acts and helping others, without a doubt, also has a positive impact on each of us. So the emotional implications of Christmas can be fruitful if we keep working on them..
Matthieu Ricard, a molecular biologist and Buddhist monk, was dubbed the happiest man in the world. As a Buddhist, his meditations also focus on love and compassion, and meditating on these two concepts is being scientifically proven to raise levels of happiness. At the brain level, the left prefrontal cortex associated with levels of well-being is activated.
“I have come to understand that although some people are naturally happier than others, their happiness remains vulnerable and incomplete, and that achieving lasting happiness as a way of being is a skill. It requires a sustained effort to train the mind and develop a set of human qualities, such as inner peace; mindfulness; and altruistic love ”. -Matthieu Ricard-
Thus, Christmas can serve as a kind inspiration to generate in us a seed of kindness and generosity that goes beyond the holidays. And in this way, to benefit all beings.
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