The emotional instability It is a personality trait that causes those who have it an extreme sentimental volatility. Also known as “neuroticism”, this characteristic is typical of individuals who are greatly affected by everything that happens to them, both in a good way and when it comes to something negative..
Emotional instability is part of most existing personality models, including the most widely used of all, the "Big Five". It is a characteristic that can be used to predict all kinds of situations in life, such as problems with personal relationships or difficulties at work..
In addition, it is also at the base of many more serious psychological problems, such as borderline personality disorder or almost all difficulties related to anxiety. However, not all people with emotional instability have to develop pathologies; in fact, many are capable of leading totally normal lives.
Today, it is still unknown what causes some people to be more neurotic than others, although there are many theories about it. In this article we will tell you everything we know about this feature so far, in addition to giving you several tips to control your emotions if you think you can have it..
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To understand what emotional instability is, the simplest thing is to study what are the most common traits of people who have this characteristic.
When an individual behaves very differently from what might be expected in a given situation, it can be a symptom of emotional instability.
Examples of this would be when someone laughs at a time when it is not appropriate to do so, or cries when this behavior does not seem to make sense..
Of course, reacting in unexpected ways does not always imply an undercurrent of neuroticism; But if this feature comes up along with others mentioned in this article, it can be something very revealing.
Going from one emotion to another is something that happens to all of us; but in the case of neurotic people, these changes can appear almost instantaneously. Almost without warning, someone with emotional instability can go from being happy to feeling sad or angry, and often for no apparent reason..
In general, in addition, the most marked emotions are the negative ones; But the opposite can also happen, that a neurotic is feeling terrible one second and starts laughing the next. This is one of the clearest symptoms of this personality trait..
When we are angry or upset, it can be difficult to calm ourselves; but people with emotional instability suffer especially serious problems in this area.
When something bothers them, they usually get defensive and become very sensitive to everything around them that can be potentially negative..
This, among other things, usually causes many problems in their personal relationships, both with their partner and with friends and family. In addition, it generates high levels of suffering, since any small discomfort makes them have an extremely difficult time..
People with very broad neuroticism, in addition to reacting in unexpected ways in some situations, also tend to behave differently at different times.
Faced with the same stimulus, at times they may feel sad and at other times happy; or get angry about something that previously did not bother them.
The same can happen with thoughts. Typically, someone who is emotionally unstable will feel very high self-esteem at times, and very low shortly thereafter. This causes all kinds of difficulties in their day to day.
Neurotic people tend to act without thinking too much about what they are doing because of how changeable their emotions are and how difficult it is to control them..
Because they often feel bad, they may behave in hurtful ways or in ways that cause problems in their personal or work relationships.
One of the most common psychological problems among people with low emotional stability is stress. This occurs, in general, due to the amount of negative thoughts that haunt the heads of these individuals all the time.
When someone is very neurotic, they tend to see any small problem as something impossible to overcome or that it is going to bring all kinds of complications. For this reason, these individuals often end up developing other more serious pathologies such as anxiety or depression..
Finally, neurotic people often have great difficulty controlling their feelings and avoiding acting according to how they are at all times..
If, for example, they are very angry, they will tend to pay for it with the people around them, regardless of whether or not they are guilty of what happens to them..
Again, this tends to get them all kinds of problems, both in their relationships with others and in their own life. Therefore, if you think you have a very high instability or know someone with this characteristic, it is highly recommended that you work on it on your own or seek help.
What leads some people to be more emotionally unstable than others? As in the case of other personality traits, it seems that the answer is not simple. There are many factors that influence the development of this problem; then we will see some of the most important.
When psychology began to be studied as a science, the first factor that researchers tried to use as an explanation for personality differences was biology..
According to these first psychologists, a person would be more or less neurotic depending on innate factors, which could not be controlled or changed.
However, later these theories were put to the test thanks to studies with twins and adopted children; and it was discovered that, although biology plays an important role in personality, it is not the only one that counts.
In fact, it is estimated that genetic factors are capable of explaining approximately 50% of the personality differences between individuals. The other half, however, have more to do with the environment in which they were raised or their culture..
The other factor that is frequently studied to try to explain the personality differences present in humans is the environment in which each of us grew up..
It has been known for decades that the way our parents and figures of reference influenced us as children have a lot to do with how we are as adults..
Among other things, it appears that one of the developmental factors that most influences the development of neuroticism is the presence of insecure attachment in childhood.
This means that, when a child is ignored or treated without much affection by his parents, he will tend to become a person with high emotional instability.
Other factors that may influence the development of this characteristic are the lack of support in childhood or adolescence, bullying, or belonging to a risk group such as homosexuals, overweight or belonging to a minority.
Finally, the latest research in the field of neuroscience has shown that there are differences at the anatomical level in the brain of neurotic people, compared to that of others who do not have this characteristic..
Two of the most striking differences are a smaller number of connections between the prefrontal cortex (in charge of controlling impulses) with the rest of the brain, and lower levels of serotonin. This is a neurotransmitter that controls emotions and causes a feeling of well-being when present.
It is very difficult to change a personality trait as fundamental as neuroticism. However, it is possible to learn to manage some of its most unpleasant consequences, and reduce the amount of problems it causes in the daily lives of those who suffer it..
There are a multitude of approaches that can be used to reduce emotional instability; but only a few have been shown to be truly effective in the long term. In this section we will see the most important.
The most widely used approach today to treat neuroticism problems is a mix of cognitive (thought-oriented) and behavioral (behavior-related) therapy.
This psychological approach has been shown to be very effective in the medium and long term to alleviate the most serious symptoms of emotional instability..
In general, to treat neuroticism, a dual approach is usually used from this therapy. On the one hand, it seeks to achieve cognitive restructuring: that is, to completely change the way of thinking of the person, in such a way that their way of interpreting the world does not cause such great changes in their emotions.
At the same time, it seeks to get the person to actively face their fears and set goals that cause them to gain more confidence in themselves.
Mixed together, these two approaches tend to achieve very good results in neurotic people, who tend to learn to better control their emotions and reactions..
One of the most recent therapies but that achieves the best results with people with emotional instability is ACT therapy. Derived from a mixture of the cognitive current and meditation, it consists of teaching the person to accept their emotions and thoughts without them taking control over them..
Acceptance and commitment therapy has proven to be very effective in cases where a person has a particularly agitated mind, and therefore suffers many problems when changing their thoughts. In addition, it is also a therapy focused on action, which can help those who use it to improve their lives.
Finally, in cases in which neuroticism causes especially serious problems, it may be advisable to add the use of certain psychotropic drugs to make the psychological treatment simpler and more effective..
There are mainly two types of drugs that can be used in these cases. On the one hand, there are the benzodiazepines. These are drugs that control the most serious symptoms of neuroticism, and therefore help the person not to suffer such sudden changes in their mood.
Another increasingly popular alternative is selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. These pills help to increase the levels of serotonin in the brain, which makes the person feel calmer, more self-confident and with less variation in their emotions.
It is important to remember that, alone, psychoactive drugs cannot end emotional instability. On the contrary, they should be understood as a simple support to other types of therapeutic approaches.
Helping someone who is very neurotic can be very difficult. Usually there is not much we can do when a loved one exhibits this personality trait at very high levels. Even so, there are certain actions that we can take that could help alleviate the worst consequences of this problem..
The first thing we can do is show our unconditional support to the neurotic person. In general, when someone feels understood and loved, their emotions tend to calm down and be less extreme. This can be a very important factor in the recovery of these individuals..
Another action we can take when it comes to helping someone with emotional instability is to try to stay positive with them. Often times when they experience very extreme feelings, these people may believe that everything is going to go wrong. Assuring them that what is happening is not too bad can help them feel better.
Finally, if you think the other person's problem is very serious, you may want to suggest that they seek professional help. A psychologist can help a neurotic individual to better control their emotions and to behave more functionally.
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