Sincere communication

Anthony Golden
Sincere communication

Sincerity is a quality or virtue that implies telling the truth, as well as the congruence between the words and the behaviors with which we proceed, has to do with honesty, which by etymology also entails being fair and reasonable.


  • Sincerity does not have to be at odds with respect
  • Sarcasm is not sincerity
  • Nobody has the absolute truth
  • Sincerity and respect in the family
  • Sincerity and assertiveness
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Sincerity does not have to be at odds with respect

Many people estimate it as a value, which they place very high, even above other universal values, the latter are the set of valid norms of coexistence to promote harmony within society. For what the hierarchy or position in which we have the values ​​that are important to us, many times they are not so for the coexistence of solidarity because they conflict and in this way they do not help to promote tolerance and respect towards what is different from U.S.

Criticisms made with sincerity are positive when they are said within a conducive and respectful context, especially when they are made with the intention of improving the person. Therefore, when we make an observation or a criticism, it is better that it be in the appropriate spheres, it is convenient to take into account the feelings of the other person, if what you want is that the individual becomes aware of their failures, if the The objective of this observation is that with this criticism the person rectifies some aspect. Criticism, under these parameters, is then constructive and beneficial for the establishment of a better, more harmonious and functional society..

This is valid in different areas ... Whether personal, couple, work, academic or family, since an observation made with sincerity and in the appropriate contexts can make us improve or optimize some attitude, behavior or process.

Confucius proposed three levels of honesty:

  1. Li: It is the most superficial level and mainly seeks immediate gratification and self-benefit..
  2. Yi: It is a deeper level of honesty, it implies kindness, justice and reciprocity, it does not only pursue one's own interests.
  3. Ren: It is the deepest level of this value and includes both "Li" and "Yi", seeking empathy, understanding and harmony with others..

Sarcasm is not sincerity

Although some people pride themselves on being very sincere, they fall into sarcasm, excessive cynicism and destructive criticism, many times they do it even outside the appropriate contexts for this, boasting of being highly honest people, but far from making the subject reflect that they point out, they make you feel bad, and when they feel attacked, they tend to activate their defense mechanisms, thus preventing positive changes from being generated. Well, what they seek is not to generate a change, most of the great cynics are indifferent to it because they have misanthropy as a philosophy of life, rather they seek to exalt their ego and their virtues by belittling others by praising others. defects and errors of others.

All human beings have different capacities and virtues, in my journey as a person and as a psychologist I have not been able to find anyone from whom I cannot learn something, even those whom society would point out harshly. I believe that we can find talent even in people that many people disqualify for many tasks, either due to their own nature or biopsychosocial condition..

I have been amazed to see so much beauty and true works of art in mental hospitals and prisons, for example; Well, I have observed that many of the inmates have great talents that sometimes they had not identified, some of them have developed them while in captivity, thanks to the fact that they adhere to programs where they learn a trade or develop some skill with which they can help themselves. to have an income, thus working for them, as true social rehabilitation programs and not only as prisons, because in this way they manage to sublimate many emotions and focus their energy, time and concentration on building and not destroying. Unlike inmates who prefer to focus on their shadow side, who have brought so many problems to themselves and to society.  

Each person is different, it is in their unique genetic combination, in their cognitive processes, in their context, in their ways of behaving, dressing, expressing themselves; each person has their political, religious, intellectual, philosophical and even erotic preferences. Human beings are of different colors and we have different cultures, but that does not mean that some are more right than others or that some are superior, it only means that we have different preferences or realities.

When a person is free and if they do not have any physical or mental condition that prevents them from choosing, such as some disorder, each one has the right to think and choose what is best for themselves, as long as they do not run over them. rights of others. Assertive behaviors are based on respect.

Nobody has the absolute truth

The same happens with reality, we can have a point of view from our context of how things are or how they should be, but that does not mean that it is necessarily the absolute truth, or that everyone has to adjust to what we believe to be what is. better or right. This type of reasoning has led humanity to bloody wars, just to impose a culture or a religion, when the sensory perception is unique in each individual and limited by different aspects, then then, it is better to treat people with respect no matter if our ideas, cultures, uses and customs are different.

What is more important for you? That others see that you have reason to demonstrate how honest, wise, intelligent and prepared you are, even at the cost of offending, trampling on the rights or feelings of others? Or do you prefer to collaborate in the construction of a more inclusive and global social fabric where there is a friendly dialogue, in which we can appreciate the diversity and the treasures that reside in it, communicating honestly but assertively, not aggressive as resources can be to which cynics frequently resort to devalue opinions, ideas and even people themselves, taking refuge in the idea of ​​being truly honest people.
How many concepts appear to be true because of the persuasive way in which they are presented to us and yet they prove to be premises of inconclusive reasoning and fallacies, among other rhetorical devices frequently used by those who want to manipulate others?

Sincerity and respect in the family

If we want to build a more global, collaborative and harmonious society, we have to take care of our words, because in addition to being sincere, they must be respectful so that we do not generate more destruction. This is something that you should consider if you are a father or mother, because people who are developing, especially those who are during childhood and adolescence, are just forming their concept of themselves, "correcting" their children or students pointing out mistakes, and even making fun of them does not generally help the person to improve, quite the opposite, especially when they are highlighted in front of others.

If it is our desire that the person modify any behavior or attitude, we have to be very careful not to generate reactance, trying to point out the behaviors objectively and lovingly and not to the people, instead of saying: “It seems that everything you touch you destroy! ”, it is better to point out the behavior in an appropriate context and taking care of our words:“ I see that your backpack is broken again, it has only been a month since I bought it, I think you can be more careful, because that is how you have shown me with other things that you appreciate, how about if this time I buy you a backpack that you like a lot and give it that care, I trust that you will. Otherwise, if this happens again, we will have to take the backpack to be repaired every time it breaks, paying with your own savings, as we will not be able to afford more than one backpack per school year. "  

Sincerity and assertiveness

"The ideal assertive interaction is one in which participants end up feeling better than before." S.Neiger and E. Fullerton.

Sincerity is a virtue that can be expressed with assertiveness, which is a social skill that helps to live harmoniously and healthy individuals can develop it. What if instead of just protesting and pointing out the faults of others, as individuals fixed in an oral stage, and waiting for some external agent to change our reality and our destiny, we move on to other higher stages and we become more proactive and constructive, at least with our comments. If we want to transform reality, we can start by making changes in our own being and immediate environment, if we want to generate changes at another level we can develop proposals and projects for the good of others, instead of just shouting and complaining about everything that is wrong around us.



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