Unwanted moments of uncertainty or unforeseen events put our adaptability to the test. There are people who in certain situations are unable to activate all their personal resources. However, others are capable of transform circumstances and flow with the new beat.
Is it a question of character, of will? Can adaptation to change be trained? How can you manage your reaction when life gives you surprises?
Charles Darwin who said: "It is not the strongest species that survives, but the one that best responds to change".
At certain moments life gives us a surprise. Either through an unexpected news or through an event that we did not have. The first reaction of surprise can lead us to feel afraid that paralyzes us. We can also feel sadness which leads us to inactivity and recollection.
We can even feel go to that will lead us to anger and discontent.
These wise emotions move us and give us clues to adapt to that change that life brings us.
And this type of event or news tests our ability to survive. When life gives you surprises it is necessary reinvent yourself personally and / or professionally.
Mario Alonso Puig tells us about reinvent itself, which is nothing other than bring out our true selves.
Our hidden potential is only revealed when we step out of our comfort zone and face the unknown..
Our comfort zone is one in which things are familiar and comfortable to us. It is that place where we are used to living.
Reinventing ourselves means leaving this area and leaving aside who we have been until now to face radical changes. And along the way it will be necessary to overcome fears, rethink beliefs, transform objectives, structures, behaviors, habits.
Isabel aranda in his book "Enabling emotions", tells us about the surprise emotion. Define surprise as a response to unexpected events and events. They are events that break our previous expectations about life. It is an abrupt, brief and quick reaction to something unforeseen and relevant to us.
On the other hand, Goldstein and Stahl they refer to the surprise with the denomination of "confusion" because it is the effect that originates.
The function of surprise is to prepare us to understand something unexpected. Cognitively helps us understand the dissonance that has occurred in our mental schemes.
If we are receptive to new information, we will look for how to fit this data into our schemas, in order to integrate them. In this way, when life gives us a surprise, we will know how to manage it.
How have you reacted? What does this reaction say about you?
When we analyze both the fact that surprises us and our reaction to that fact, there is an update of our schemes. As a consequence, we will not be surprised by new similar events..
What schemes do you put in place when faced with a situation that surprises you?
As soon as the event is evaluated, the surprise is replaced by another emotion. The surprise itself fades quickly. For this reason, the emotion to be managed is the one that follows; that is, how we feel afterwards: comfortable and stimulated or out of control.
Active and creative curious people take action to provoke surprising events in your life. They seek novelty, discovery, uncertainty, challenge.
Yet other people feel secure in what they know and control, and are reluctant to get out of there. Changes and surprises cause them restlessness and fear of the unknown, to fail, not to know how to react. And they say "I do not like surprises".
They are usually rigid people, with a certain insensitivity or restraint from feeling surprised. They have a high need for control, perfectionism and demand. And all this may be hindering their ability to adapt.
How is your relationship with the surprises that life gives you?
How many surprising events happen in your day to day?
Are you one of those who like surprises?
How is your ability to react and find solutions to surprises?
I share with you a moment in my life when the surprise came suddenly. It was a situation that at first dislodged all my schemes and filled me with unpleasant emotions.
As time went by, that surprise made me discover a new "Ana" full of strength, creativity, security and tranquility. An ana that led me to achieve dreams that I would never have imagined.
"I am in my third month of pregnancy and today is my birthday. I go to work with a box of pasta to celebrate the double news with my colleagues. In the middle of the morning I receive a letter from the management to inform me that in fifteen days I must leave work . Come on, fire me! I keep the pasta, I don't celebrate my birthday, nor do I give the happiest news of my life. I want to go home. I am without strength, without energy. Tears flow.
At home I vent to my husband. I share with him my sadness and anger at a situation that I believe is unfair. After this emotional explosion comes a certain calm and I feel a creature inside me that deserves the best. And I decide to find a solution. I call close people who give me joy and confidence. I start to smile again and to look for work for the summer. I take time to walk, to rest, to take care of myself. And the idea arises to prepare an opposition for the autumn. I want to fully enjoy my pregnancy. I avoid people who lead me into negative moods.
Two weeks later I am in the pool with a dozen children ready to jump into the water. I feel efficient, active and happy again.
I have also integrated a study routine that I combine with walks and meetings with friends. Having the day organized with schedules to study, rest and be with the people I love gives me strength and balance to face one of the biggest challenges of my life: being a mother in a few months.
And face what I never imagined could happen next ... " To be continue
(Excerpt from the book Mom triathlete. High Performance Ed, Oct. 2012)
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