You thought that you would have a house of your own, a pet, a stable partner, a group of friends that you imagined as in “Friends”, that you would have children, a permanent job that you would like and that was consistent with your studies (you did not imagine having had to study so much ...), that you would have a bank account with savings that would ensure peace of mind ...
And yet you feel empty, Without that house with a garden, you are not married nor do you intend to be, your group of friends is scattered, you have no children or plans to have them, you survive on precarious jobs that have nothing to do with all the years you have invested studying, you have no savings, thank you if you have dinner in the fridge for tonight.
You imagined that at this age you would have everything, and you feel that you have nothing. Let me tell you that you have the best, that you have everything, that you are free.
We always hear and say that the material is important, but we base our desires on the material and on fulfilling what society expects of us to obtain those benefits that, after all, are material. And tell me, if you had a house, a permanent job, a family ... who assures you that you will not wake up, you will be fired, your partner will leave with your best friend and you will be alone and ruined?
You may think that the role of a psychologist is not to get you these fears and want to make you bitter if you have all this, obviously not. But, I want you to see that nothing is stable, nothing is secure and that if you don't have any of this, you have something very valuable: freedom, not having to worry about the mortgage, because your partner leaves you in a crisis, because they fire you ... you have the opportunity to live your day to day as happily as possible, to reflect on how you want to see yourself in a few years, how you want see you for real, not how they expect you to be, and take steps towards that destination enjoying the journey.
Often, we hear people like you both in consultation and on the street, in fact, the biggest epidemic that we are suffering and that psychologists have to face is disappointment, the feeling of failure, feelings of worthlessness ... definitively, to the discomfort generated by some aspirations, partly social and partly personal, that have not been fulfilled.
Okay, you don't have what you thought you would have, so what? Does it mean the world is ending? Not. It means that things are not how they told us, but, they don't have to be for you to be happy.
And what if I feel like I have "everything"? I do not pretend that you are afraid of losing it, or that you are unhappy, but you must also bear in mind that everything you think is "everything" can vanish, that nothing is fixed or certain. So, I advise you to accumulate experiences and worry less about the "stable", in case some day that goes away, that you do not feel that you have nothing, because it will not be like that..
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