The problems of being an overly tolerant person

Perhaps you are the type of person who thinks that one should be very tolerant of circumstances and of the people who generate them, and you relate patience and respect with the act of tolerance.

You may think that being tolerant can save you many unnecessary tensions and confrontations. Well, let me tell you that you are wrong. Tolerance is a quality that we should not carry as a flag, and I will explain why.

To begin, here I show the definition of tolerate according to the R.A.E., with all its meanings:

(From lat. tolerāre).

1. Suffer, bear with patience.

2. Allowing something that is not considered lawful, without expressly approving it.

3. Resist, endure, especially a food, or a medicine.

4. Respect the ideas, beliefs or practices of others when they are different or contrary to your own

Three out of four meanings use negative terms What suffer, allow and resist or endure. Given this fact, we conclude that tolerating is not an act of kindness towards ourselves. On the contrary, we do ourselves a disservice by indulging in this. On the other hand, by analyzing the act in question, by tolerating a comment or an action that affects us in some way, a inner struggle between external facts and our internal judgments whose end result is tension and in some cases anger.

It is evident that the zero tolerance towards all aspects of our life it is not the alternative either. But it is highly recommended not to tolerate excessively.

To tolerate and receive a healthy response, we must consider the following:

• A comment or an action against the circumstances does not have to trigger a conflict. We should not be afraid to revoke what does not make us feel good. For this, good use must be made of assertiveness, that quality that, through the use of mature language, keeps us in our position of equality and allows us to make use of our rights and convictions..

• There will always be events or circumstances beyond our influence. This is where we must choose and establish the limit that we are going to tolerate. I choose to tolerate, but I set the limits, and always from acceptance and not resignation.

• For each person the limits to establish will be different. But it is vital that each person consider whether or not what they are tolerating limits them. This is where everyone must act.

So it is convenient that we make an assessment of what things we are tolerating in our relationship with the world around us. It is likely that by doing this exercise we will discover that we tolerate many things that we could stop tolerating today, or at least soften their consequences.