Model of attraction focused on affection

David Holt
Model of attraction focused on affection


  • What are the gestures and behaviors that most attract?
  • What is the use of being perceived as more attractive to others?
    • How can you use the model of attraction centered on affection to your advantage??
  • Interpersonal attraction factors focused on the affect model
  • 5 steps to building a good first impression
  • 9 "Gestures" that attract
  • The smile: potential source of well-being
    • Why is it so important to smile?
    • Conclution
    • Links
    • References

What are the gestures and behaviors that most attract?

Interpersonal attraction comprises a series of evaluations across various dimensions ranging from like to dislike; In it, factors that have a positive influence on your social relationships act, being attractive goes beyond appearance, it includes a series of prosocial behaviors, which can help you open many doors in your path, that you have more opportunities to your development in various areas of your life, because: "when a person is perceived as attractive, others are more willing to interact with them".

The model of attraction centered on affect proposes that due to the bond we have with a person, there is an inclination to feel a preference towards him, affirms that interpersonal evaluations are based on positive or negative emotions, including emotions associated with cognitive processes. This paradigm is based on emotional responses and can be observed by behavioral or attitudinal manifestations; It is worth mentioning that some of the most important characteristics of affect are: intensity and direction.

What is it that makes certain people feel attracted to others? Reciprocity, proximity, and similarity are known factors of interpersonal attraction that have been widely studied. When you share common interests, tastes, beliefs, values, principles, ideologies and activities with someone, there are possibilities to strengthen the bond and it is possible to experience affection.

What is the use of being perceived as more attractive to others?

It can be of great help to you from very simple situations such as being chosen to make a team and carry out a semester project at school with the right people for it, it can help you get that promotion at work that you long for, perhaps to attract that person special for you or simply to improve your social skills, which is already a benefit when living in society. Knowing the attraction factors centered on the affect model can be useful to enrich your relationships, in the different environments in which you develop, since:

"The sum of your abilities and personal talents to carry out your work together with your social skills can multiply your potential".

The attraction not only depends on physical factors, human beings take into account other aspects. When you feel comfortable with a person, many times it is because of their warmth and the containment that they offer you, this is also charming, although it is not exactly "an Adonis or an incarnate Venus", it may begin to be for you by another type of qualities and that even the love of attachment develops.

How can you use the model of attraction centered on affection to your advantage??

Next, we will look at other interpersonal attraction factors focused on this paradigm, which includes certain attitudes, behaviors and attributes. You can use these tips to increase your "magnetism" with others.

Interpersonal attraction factors focused on the affect model

The behavioral factors of interpersonal attraction focused on affect are actions and gestures of empathy towards the people you interact with on a daily basis, they include: honesty, understanding, loyalty, intelligence, adaptability, positive attitudes and reliability, mainly.

By working on improving your social skills and managing your emotions properly, you can increase your personal attraction, as well as the quality and permanence of your interactions with others..

5 steps to building a good first impression

Edward Thorndike, studied the halo effect, he observed that the study subjects had the tendency to generalize from certain particularities, which can help you determine how attractive you will be to someone from a first impression, since generally, after that, a cognitive bias comes into play.

You can improve your "first impression effect", taking care of some easily observable characteristics and taking care of some very simple aspects that have to do with your appearance and the image you project:

  1. A clean and well-groomed-looking person (without overdoing it) tends to generate more confidence.
  2. It is advisable to adopt a relaxed body posture. The tension in the body is part of what you project to others and a non-verbal way of communication, very taken into account by others, whether consciously or not..
  3. Try to maintain eye contact in a gentle way, without looking like a questioning look, as it can have the opposite effect: instead of attracting, you can make the other person feel uncomfortable.
  4. Proximity is a very important interpersonal attraction factor; Likewise, physical distance is something that must be taken into account, because depending on the culture and traditions, there is a certain distance that it is convenient to keep or not between people; Physical contact, as well as the appropriate distance influence the perception of others towards you, trying to be respectful with others is a good key to approach someone.
  5. An authentic smile is a gesture of warmth that can convey tranquility and even encouragement in difficult times, we tend to feel more trust towards people who smile; Likewise, the person who smiles is more likely to be perceived as pleasant and that his smile is reciprocated, thanks to mirror neurons. By smiling you project a certain degree of well-being and reliability.

9 "Gestures" that attract

Nowadays, there are many possibilities to meet many people, but how do you stand out to attract the person you want? What are some factors that can influence how you are more attractive to others? Here are eight proposals based on the model of interpersonal attraction focused on affection that have been widely studied and with which you can increase your personal charms:

  1. Show respect for the attitudes, feelings, and the particular and sociocultural situation of each person.
  2. Mood can influence our cognitive appraisal of others. Try to be more constructive and purposeful, less negative and destructive.
  3. Be innovative and prepare yourself constantly, life is a constant change, what you learn can be of great help to you and to others. Keeping up-to-date is a good tool - setting personal goals and objectives can help you with this..
  4. Develop your own power as a person and trust it. Carl Rogers was once asked what psychological climate favored the liberation of the individual's ability to understand and govern his own life, he asserted that there are three conditions: genuineness, authenticity, and congruence. The more satisfied you are with yourself, the easier it will be for you to project your qualities.
  5. Asking for help when you need it, more than incompetence, reflects maturity and humility.
  6. The bonds with others are also strengthened thanks to companionship and friendship. Try to promote these aspects with your actions.
  7. Being considerate and kind to others is attractive to many, rather than predominantly aggressive and uncompromising. Trying to have empathic gestures with others can produce reciprocity. Carl Rogers stated that:

"The state of empathy or empathic understanding consists of correctly perceiving the internal frame of reference of another with the meanings and emotional components it contains, but without ever losing that condition of: as if".

Empathic gestures can be attractive, when someone had a loss of a loved one, for example, many times the hackneyed words are unnecessary; However, an authentic hug can be comforting and somewhat healing, while strengthening the bond with the person, by showing empathy.

  1. "Far but near". Trying to stay "close" to the people you want to attract, even if you are "seas away from someone", can be of great help to strengthen your emotional ties. When you show your interest in her or him, staying "close", especially when they experience difficult circumstances, when they have an important achievement or a special date, for example. Showing your affection by validating in a positive way can generate a feeling of closeness.

Nowadays, social networks can help you keep close to the people who are important to you and strengthen affection through a series of prosocial behaviors, which reinforce each other, such as gratitude and good wishes, when you express this authentically, you generate greater well-being in yourself and in others.

  1. Smile, because "a warm smile is the universal language of kindness," according to William Arthur Ward.

The smile: potential source of well-being

Why is it so important to smile?

A sincere smile can be a light to others in the dark, it can also be comforting for someone who carries great emotional suffering. However, the most attractive smile is the one that our brain produces spontaneously, so you can start trying to find reasons to smile authentically.

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." Thích Nhat Hanh.

While it is true that there are periods of adversity or stress, where it is natural not to feel like smiling, when you need to wear an authentic smile, you can remember a pleasant moment that you have stored in the trunk of your memories; In case your anxiety or stress levels make it difficult for you to smile, remember to breathe long and deeply, with each exhalation try to relax the muscles, especially those of the face, so you will avoid looking like a robot with a false and mechanical smile.

Your ability to smile can make a big difference for you to be elected among other people, because with this, you denote certain social skills and generate empathy, the smile must be framed in an appropriate context, so as not to be taken as mockery or aggression, of course.

Most people prefer to work with someone who smiles, who even in the face of the challenges and stress that the workload sometimes supposes, they do not lose that ability to be pleasant.


The exchanges in relationships are constant, people can give benefits according to equity when they expect something in exchange for what they are giving, the retribution does not have to be material, it can be affective, such as: gratitude, respect and affection. However, Buddha wisely said that: "He who waits, suffers", it is better not to expect reciprocity in these aspects; Strengthening interpersonal attraction factors centered on the affection model will bring multiple benefits to your life in any way, since they will make you improve some of your skills, be perceived as more attractive to others and enjoy healthier relationships..



Rogers, Carl (1997). The power of the person. Mexico: Modern Manual.
Rogers, Carl (1985). Therapy, personality and interpersonal relationships. Argentina: New Vision Editions.
Gavira, S., E., Cuadrado G., I and López S., M. (2009). Introduction to social psychology. Spain: Editorial Saenz y Torres, S.L.

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