The shy children They are those who show a low interaction and an over-control of their feelings and emotions. They tend to have a tendency to isolation, they can even react negatively to the approaches of other people, thus presenting social avoidance.
Helping shy children to be more sociable and open is important, as they may have problems in their social relationships and in other aspects of their lives. In most cases, shyness can have a genetic origin, however, its appearance can also be influenced by factors of external origin that we can control, unlike those of genetic origin..
Since these children do not usually have any type of behavioral problems, they can go unnoticed both at home and at school. However, on some occasions you can present feelings of anxiety, insecurity and fear.
On the other hand, at school, teachers perceive these children as calm and even use them as an example of "good behavior" in class to their classmates..
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Shyness can usually appear between the ages of five and seven in two different ways. In the first place, it can appear in those children who have always been since they were very young.
The second refers to the fact that for whatever reasons, the child who previously exhibited a “normalized” behavior begins to change it so that now he withdraws and shows shy behaviors.
It is estimated that between 20% and 48% of people have shy personalities since babies are born with a predisposition to shyness but the environment plays a decisive role in changing or strengthening this tendency.
Therefore, there is a hereditary component, but our way of being is largely a consequence of the type of stimuli we receive from a young age..
Although shyness has a hereditary component, factors such as:
Finally, we present some indicators to know if your child is shy since sometimes he can be confused with autism.
Here are some tips to help work shyness in children successfully from home:
Although it seems that this is not important, on many occasions he does not know how to relate to others or start a conversation with his peers.
Therefore, a good idea would be to give them examples of how they could start it and even topics to talk about with their peers. A good example would be for you to talk to them about what you like to do calmly..
On the other hand, you can also rehearse these types of situations at home. A good idea would be to start by practicing simple conversation skills, such as asking him questions about himself and encouraging him to ask you as well..
Another way that your child can overcome his shyness is through confidence. On many occasions they show themselves in this way because they do not believe in themselves. Therefore, it is important not to belittle him or call him shy in front of other people or children..
In addition, as parents we also have to help them discover talents and hobbies that make them feel special and in which they are good, this will allow them to feel good and increase their self-esteem.
If since they are little we are exposing them to different contexts and people, we can make them get used to new experiences and in this way they will practice social skills that will later help them to interact with their peers at school.
On the other hand, as we have mentioned previously, it would also be useful for him to practice extracurricular group activities or even if when we went to a store with him we would allow him to pay for the purchase, for example.
On many occasions, shy children can feel misunderstood by the world around them since what for their peers can be very normal (starting a conversation, getting closer to other classmates ...) for them can be extremely complicated.
As parents we must have empathy for our child and try to understand these difficulties to support him without negative judgment and provide him with the tools he needs..
Whether your child is excessively shy or not, it is important that they always receive feedback on their behavior..
That is, to be praised or rewarded in their first steps of social interaction so that little by little they will gain confidence in themselves and promote their self-esteem (PTA de Padres, 2010).
As we already know, parents are the example for their children to follow, so if they replicate the behaviors and attitudes of shy people, the child will copy them and make them his own..
In this way, shy parents often have shy children. Therefore, they must allow their children to see them making friends, expressing themselves and living with others.
As parents you should try to avoid labeling the child as shy as this can influence the expectations that are had of him.
When you start to mark a person as shy or as vague, this label is usually generalized to all those around them. This can negatively influence a child's self-esteem and how others treat him..
We have to show our children that we love them so that they feel loved and protected. This is only achieved with words and deeds, in this way we make sure that our children feel loved no matter what they are like..
We have to accept our son as he is, if he is excessively shy we cannot force him right away not to be.
You have to be patient and work with him his shyness. If we compare him with other colleagues, we will only be distancing them from us and hurting his self-esteem.
Although we think that we may be helping him, this fact causes the opposite effect on our son since it reinforces his shyness and also takes away opportunities to interact with other people.
Most children when given this opportunity speak louder and it is important that they learn to speak for themselves.
A mistake we usually make is teaching children to always be with us or with a teacher or someone they trust.
This can create fear for them, encouraging them to withdraw and not want to meet new people in their school environment or in their extracurricular activities..
Another mistake we make when our child is shy is overprotecting him. We must try to make it autonomous first in our home and then extend this behavior to all other environments in which it operates..
In addition, we also have to try to avoid repressing it too much since something you need is to gain self-confidence and have confidence.
It is a good idea to create safe spaces for the child in which they can make friends, since when they gain confidence in this area they can try in other different environments and in other places.
At first, if it is difficult for him to approach other classmates to interact with them, you could invite a boy to the house with whom it is easier for him to talk.
On many occasions, even if we follow the advice we have given above, they do not usually improve the behavior and well-being of our child. Next, we expose those behaviors and attitudes that we must avoid:
Shyness can have negative consequences on the social development of the minor that can also affect other aspects of their life such as academics. Therefore, it is important that we know how to detect it in order to work to reduce its shyness and increase its well-being.
As we have mentioned previously, sometimes parents are the ones who promote or develop shyness in our child, however if we are aware of our actions we can avoid it and focus more on following guidelines that have positive effects on all members of the family..
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