It is difficult to witness the departure of someone you love. It is much harder to witness the departure of a loved one of whom, in addition to being family or very close friends, we were the caregivers.
The role of the caregiver is of an intensity that few of us can imagine until we experience it in person. It involves putting your life on pause indefinitely to dedicate yourself body and soul to caring for a person who, due to his age or health conditions, has lost independence and mobility.
When you are a caregiver in this way and do not go to request specialized help in a Residence for the elderly or a day home, care involves regulating one's own hours based on those of the person being cared for. Food, medicine, baths, sleep, naps ... everything is linked on a daily basis and assigns a very special rhythm to the life of the caregiver.
It is not possible to go out for a walk. It is not possible to schedule hobbies that force us to leave home for a long time, especially if we do not have someone to help us, someone to cover the time that we are going to leave. And that is speaking of people who do not have the need to work, when you have to work and take care of a dependent person, everything becomes more complex, there are no labor regulations that are helpful, there is not enough social support.
When a person has to take time off work to take care of a sick child, there is a legal figure for such permission. It is not available for the care of a sick or dependent elderly person. So let's think about all the life changes a caregiver makes. And how his life is focused on one thing: the well-being of the person he cares for..
And now let's imagine the void. The gap in life that remains when the person cared for passes away. To loneliness and sadness are added the huge spaces with no things to do. That hour when meals were given, the very firm and stable medication schedules.
Every little detail of the day to day reminds us of the person who left. Other people in our social environment will only see us through the filter of the deceased loved one. It will be months before the first comment from acquaintances and friends stops being "how are you?", "Courage, you have to put courage", and similar things.
All of this makes things as simple as going shopping really difficult: finding people and visiting well-known places is very painful and complex..
It is for all these reasons that it is best not to go through this process alone. One of the options is to surround yourself with trustworthy people, who help you overcome the difficult bump of rebuilding your daily routine..
Enroll in sports and cultural activities that force us to leave home and see different spaces. And finally, go to a specialist. Not just any psychologist will be able to help a person who goes through that trance, it is best to go to a psychologist specialized in thanatology.
This area of expertise helps to start grieving in a healthy way and giving rise to every emotion without being afraid to talk about death. Easy? No. But it is certainly easier with the right help.
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