The toxic people They arethose that show a series of contagious negative attitudes that prevent you from feeling good, being happy or reaching your goals. They therefore have a negative influence on your life..
These types of people are harmful to your mental well-being and can be from your family, friends, siblings, coworkers or anywhere else where you have to interact with people.
Surely you have ever heard the saying "who hugs a good tree, a good shade shelters him". Your parents or grandparents have probably told you hundreds of times when you were a child and a teenager..
There is always the possibility of falling under the “radar” of influence of these toxic people, although if you are aware you can prevent it and deal with them. If you do not know how to treat them, then I will give you several indications.
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Indeed, people's attitudes towards life can be contagious, especially if personal values are not well established, with young people being more defenseless.
One explanation of why someone negative transmits negative emotions to you is the existence of mirror neurons in your brain. Simply put, these neurons make you feel the same emotions you see on someone else's face.
Therefore, if someone in a bad mood is telling you something negative once again and you perceive that emotion (for example, a disgusted face), your mirror neurons will activate and cause you to feel that emotion too..
Another explanation is social; groups and individuals tend to share values and beliefs as they spend more time together. If a negative belief occurs constantly, it will tend to replace a positive belief, simply by repetition..
For example, if a co-worker says for 200 days a year that "that job sucks", he will tend to build that belief, since he will avoid focusing attention on positive aspects or other beliefs such as "It is lucky to have that job".
To identify a toxic person you will be able to recognize some of the following signs. However, the golden rule can be this: if you feel bad about him / her continuously or it has negative effects on your life, it is toxic..
-They provoke negative emotions (it is the main characteristics of these people).
-They are "negative talkers" not "doers": instead of doing things, they talk about why they cannot be done or they complain for much of the day.
-They do not try anything: people who try difficult things inspire others and toxic people do not inspire, do not even try something or risk trying.
-They complain about everything: complainers are especially negative, they focus on the problems, they only see the negative perspective and they prevent you from focusing on the solutions.
-They are usually happy when people join them and complain about the same things..
-They always tell their problems and never the positive that happens in their lives.
-They tend to continuously talk about themselves, feeding their own ego.
-Excuses are made for everything.
-They criticize others and even yourself and encourage rumors.
-They are arrogant: not confident, but arrogant, that is, they believe that they know everything and feel superior to others. Probably something explained by the Dunning-Kruger effect.
-They become the victims: nothing is their responsibility, others or "luck" are to blame.
-Envious: they are never grateful for what they have and when someone gets something, they criticize and envy them, they do not admire them.
-They lie: they lie about subjects that can be painful for the people who are the objects of the lie..
-They judge without knowing and without thinking.
-They are usually sheep: they do not have their own initiative and tend to do what the herd does.
-They are usually quite manipulative, and their relationships are very absorbing.
-They may be envious because you decide to do something that he / she does not dare or dared to do.
-They can tell you that you are not capable of doing something.
-Selfish, jealous and paranoid.
You can have different types of toxic people in your life:
They are co-workers who influence you to perform worse, have worse relationships with other colleagues or bosses or generally have more negative emotions.
Workplace harassment may be related to this situation, although it has differences. The aggressive behavior of a stalker is clear, it is perceived that he wants to harm the victim.
However, the toxic person can do it even unconsciously, negatively influencing others without someone noticing..
They can be mothers, fathers, siblings, brother-in-law, cousins, aunts ... any family member who has a negative influence from a negative attitude.
Overprotective mothers can be an annoying case, as they believe that they are doing good for their children, even though they may feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, there are mothers who may have a negative, aggressive, passive or rejecting attitude towards their children.
The spouse, boyfriend / girlfriend can also be a great source of "toxicity" in life. In this type it is important to take into account something:
Your partner can be toxic even if they are faithful, kind, and loving you. It will be toxic if it negatively influences your goals, if it makes you feel bad or has negative effects on any part of your life.
Friends can also be toxic, even though they love and respect you. If a friend makes you worse, feel worse and in general negatively influences your life, you can consider it this way.
Yes, a fictional character can also be toxic and have negative consequences in someone's life. For example, the pessimistic attitude of a character in a television series or in a book can influence your view of the world..
There are numerous scientific studies that have shown that stress has a negative and long-lasting impact on the brain.
Exposure to it for a few days can affect the functioning of the hippocampus, an area of the brain responsible for memory and reasoning.
A few weeks of stress can cause the destruction of neurons. That is, stress always has short-term and long-term consequences..
Recent research from the Friedrich Schiller University in Germany showed that exposure to stimuli that elicit negative emotions (those caused by toxic people) causes pronounced stress on the brain..
Learn to manage stress in this article.
This occurs by the law of "emotional contagion".
Surely you have found yourself on many occasions in which the positive attitude of a person has infected you and you have felt the same attitude.
The same thing happens with negative people. They will infect you with their attitude and you will feel their same emotions, which are negative.
Therefore, always try to be surrounded by people who see life in a positive and enthusiastic way, away from the negativism and pessimism that characterize these people so much..
Toxic people do not act, they just talk pessimistically about life and complain continuously without doing anything to avoid that state of mind, rather they seem to like being that way. He does not usually have a topic of conversation other than his own.
And as we all know, if you do not take action, it is impossible to achieve anything in life, whether it is to get a good job, study a university degree, eat a healthy diet, etc..
By definition, these people do not achieve difficult achievements because they do not even try..
And they will probably negatively influence you or even argue why you shouldn't try something.
The results you obtain in your life, work or personal relationships depend directly on your ability to manage stress and remain calm under pressure..
It is therefore essential to learn to control emotions, the main skill of emotional intelligence..
The following behaviors will help you a lot, you can use them all or the one you think is most convenient.
Sometimes it is difficult to learn to have a positive perspective. You will have many worries and, even so, you will be positive.
You will be trying very hard to achieve your goals.
However, the complainer can arrive and you will become especially irritable if you listen to him and play his game..
You don't need to get into their game, it doesn't suit you. To zoom out and set limits you can:
The frame in NLP is known as the perspective one has of a situation.
In cognitive psychology they are the beliefs and ideas that each person has about the world, their way of interpreting situations.
When your satisfaction and well-being depend on yourself, you will be in control of your happiness.
People with emotional intelligence feel good about what they do and think, not about what others do or say. Your self-esteem comes from within, not from what happens on the outside.
It is very difficult to control what other people say or think about you, but you do not have to compare yourself with others, you do not have to accept the opinions and attitudes of others. Be yourself and do not let yourself be influenced by such negative people, although experience tells me that either you move away from them or you will be fooled in their black reality..
We just have to remember not long ago, when the economic crisis began in our country, where only negative comments about life in general were heard.
The typical phrase of "things is very bad" or "why am I going to look for work if there is not?" Will sound to you, and what a causality that today people who continue with those thoughts, keep their life as it is, without doing nothing to change your own personal situation.
Quite the opposite of those who saw the crisis as a new opportunity to reinvent themselves.
Is it true that they say that you are the average of the 5 people with whom you surround yourself the most?
I really don't know if there are 5, more or less, but I think it's clear that depending on the people you hang out with, you will have one life or another..
Your life depends on your choices and they include what kind of people you are going to interact with.
Positive people, non-conformists, with high goals, non-complainers, active and who seek solutions are the most suitable.
Do not get into the habit of complaining and blaming others for your situation.
Actually, if there is someone in your life who has a bad influence on you, it is due to your responsibility and your own choice, since you are the only one responsible for your decisions..
You can choose to walk away, not make excuses and act to have the life you want.
If you are a teenager or for some reason you cannot get away from that toxic person, try to have positive experiences that do not include that negative person. You can go to the gym, join a dance, swim ...
Here is the dilemma.
Why shouldn't you try to help someone who is having a hard time or having problems?
In principle, we all want to help (unless we have a bad day). At least I, if I know someone who tells me about their problems, I do not think if it is toxic or if it will have a bad influence on me ...
However, there have been many occasions when I realized that some people based their way of relating to telling problems, criticizing the world or others, or misleading their way of thinking or behaving.
And even though he tried to help them, they didn't respond, they didn't make an effort to solve their problems. That is, I did not see the attitude of wanting to move forward.
Therefore, these people do not have a real problem. His only problem is his attitude towards life and towards others.
In my opinion, you should not stay away from all the people who have problems or have a low mood during a certain stage.
I think you have to stay away from truly toxic people. In the next point I explain what their features are that will help us to detect them.
In my opinion, this attitude can be due to several causes:
For example, there are parents who pamper their children too much and who overprotect them. This can lead to a complaining, negative attitude that only expects things from others. They are the well-known "spoiled or spoiled children" who then extend their behavior into adulthood..
Education itself leads to the values of each, which in turn determine the attitude.
In particular, values are very important because they are our principles of action, the rules by which we guide our actions..
Examples:
Many of these characteristics can be found in these toxic people, such as lack of effort, responsibility, lack of initiative, etc. with what they lead him to have an empty life without goals or aspirations to fight for, and thus be able to be continuously complaining.
However, it is clear that because we grew up in a family that rude us, we can no longer make an excuse to explain our mistakes..
As a free person, you have decision-making power. The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl explained it from his experience in the Nazi concentration camps: he affirmed that despite being physically abused, each prisoner could choose his attitude towards life, that that was the only thing that could not be stolen from him..
Therefore, I believe that the behavior of others is not always justifiable. We cannot always argue the bad behavior or attitude of others with statements such as "he is bad psychologically", "he did badly as a child", or "he was rude".
When someone has not had everything or has very little, they do not usually complain. The happiest person I have ever met in my life is a Nicaraguan who lives with his wife and three children in a wooden cabin and does not have a car or computer / laptop. They wash in the river and have no bathroom.
And if someone continually has enriching experiences and with enriching people, they will tend to go in that direction and not in the direction of negative and toxic people..
And do you know someone toxic or do you have a relationship like that? I am interested in your experiences. You can comment in the comment section. Thanks!
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