A narcissistic perverse She is a person who only thinks of her own good and feels powerful indirectly handling her victims. Apparently he has no feelings or empathy, so he cannot love other people or maintain healthy relationships.
These individuals are unable to bear failures, so they manipulate the people around them to achieve all their goals in a selfish way. When their wishes are not fulfilled, they make their victims feel guilt and sadness, even if they have nothing to do with it..
A perverse narcissist chooses victims with whom he maintains some family, professional or partner relationship; since you need this proximity to be influential. He is unable to exert any effect in public, so he always acts in private. He prevents these people from distancing themselves from him through various strategies in which he lies, pretends, seduces and blames others for his own mistakes.
This type of people can do a lot of damage, since they are usually jealous, unfaithful, continually criticize, and feel strong belittling their victims. When they are sad or frustrated, they try to "spread" their discomfort to the victims.
Really what a narcissistic perverse hides is a negative view of himself and a low self-esteem that he tries to increase at the expense of others. Thus, to feel better, he subdues, squeezes and degrades his victims.
But, you may wonder why the victims allow themselves to be manipulated in this way? Quite simply, a perverse narcissist doesn't always make others feel bad. Rather, at the beginning of the relationship they are excellent actors: they are charming, seductive and flattering..
Once they have conquered their victim, little by little they begin to handle her like a puppet. Then they will alternate humiliation and flattery so that the victim never leaves.
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The perverse narcissists have not developed as individuals. As children they have suffered some kind of dysfunction in their relationships with others, feeling that they are not valuable enough. They have a great emptiness and dissatisfaction that instead of facing them (which would be their cure), they appropriate the virtues of others.
Thus, they strongly desire other people who seem to have what they do not have or who are simply satisfied with their life. Once they conquer these people and achieve the objectives they want (such as accessing a social or intellectual group to which they want to belong), they begin to undermine their self-esteem little by little to sink them.
So, it is as if the qualities are taken away from their victims, filling them with doubts and sadness, in an attempt to fill their emptiness..
The perverse narcissist would be like a psychotic but without symptoms, who seeks balance by unloading on others the pain that they do not allow themselves to experience and the internal contradictions that they refuse to accept. Feels valuable transferring pain to others.
The perverse narcissists do not harm conscientiously, but because they do not know how to relate in any other way. These individuals suffered a traumatic event in their childhood and it is their way of protecting their weak self-esteem.
This disorder is named for its two components, narcissism and perversion..
Narcissistic disorder encompasses lack of empathy, excessive need to be recognized and admired, envy of others, and exaggeration of their attributes.
While perversion has a connotation of cruelty and lack of moral judgment. These individuals satisfy their needs and wants at the expense of others. Use people as instruments to achieve your goals, ignoring their needs or feelings.
Maybe you have ever had a narcissistic perverse in your life and you have not even realized it. You may perceive that bond as complicated, toxic, and difficult to break. By his side you feel vulnerable, useless and low-spirited, but at the same time you have a hard time saying goodbye.
The signs that distinguish a narcissistic perverse are many and varied. It all begins when the narcissist meets the future victim and compares himself to it. He devalues himself and envies the victim, and tries to make up for it with narcissism. At the same time it will try to sink the victim so that he loses the virtues that characterize him.
If the victim submits, a bond of abuse will be created by the perverse in which the victim will endure all kinds of humiliations. On the other hand, if he reacts to the attacks, the narcissistic perverse will pretend to be the victim and will make the other feel guilty of the aggression.
In this section you will be able to know the typical behaviors of these individuals and thus detect them before becoming one of their victims.
At first, or when he is little known, he is usually charming. Little by little he shows an air of superiority, talking about his qualities. At the same time, he will disqualify other people, ignore them and reject them as if they do not deserve his respect. They also tend to advertise that they are attractive and interesting for everyone (even if it is not true).
Seduction is a fundamental strategy in perverse narcissists. However, they do not flirt in order to establish intimacy or because they are attracted to the other person. On the contrary, it tries to fascinate and dazzle the other, but without allowing itself to be conquered.
These individuals typically spend a lot of time talking about themselves and their accomplishments when flirting, but showing no real interest in the other person..
And they lack moral principles. For them to do the right thing is to selfishly satisfy their needs.
They are mythomaniacs, that is, they have no problem resorting to elaborate lies as long as they are always right. They omit important data, magnify others, and shape reality by adapting it to their wishes. Lying is a means of ignoring what goes against your narcissistic interests.
Thus, even if there is evidence to the contrary, they will turn the situation around and come out on top in some way. This greatly confuses the victim and they may begin to believe that their abuser is right and he or she is wrong. In the end, you will be unable to tell the truth from the lie..
That is, they adapt their way of being and their tastes depending on who they want to amaze. In the end, neither they themselves have a defined identity, but they are empty.
A narcissistic perverse has no power if he has no victims to squeeze out of. In reality, you are absolutely dependent on others. However, he tries to make the victim believe that it is the latter who suffers from the dependency, while he does not need it..
They tend to use a contradictory, paradoxical and very ambiguous speech. They frequently use double meanings and innuendo, which baffles the victim. They often take certain things for granted or expect others to do so: "you should know by now ..." When they have not even clearly expressed their needs.
When he is vulnerable or looking for someone to attend to him, he manages to be impossible to satisfy. He asks for so much attention that the victim is not able to please him (or asks for it at times when he cannot give it). Then the pervert takes the opportunity to make his victim understand how useless and incapable he is.
Try to give the image of a victim, having a strong talent to cover their defects and blame others. They know how to reverse situations and they manage to always be right. It is useless trying to reason with them because they will always find a way to hurt you or be right.
They like controversy, “clashes”. They have fun creating arguments and fights mainly between the victim and other people.
Sometimes he tries to provoke his victim to act against him and thus be able to justify his subsequent humiliations and attacks.
They take great pleasure in seeing others suffer and doubt, especially if he has caused such suffering. They love to see that others submit to him, obey him and agree with him.
These people lack emotional depth and, therefore, lack of empathy. They do not know how to distinguish their own emotions, not to say that they are incapable of feeling true sadness, grief, desire or joy.
If they feel abandoned or disappointed, they appear to be depressed. However, deep down it is only anger, resentment and desire for revenge.
Since they are very intelligent and know how to play with the deepest emotions of others to get what they want. The victim may find herself doing things she never thought she would do or that go against her interests in order to please her abuser.
The preferred victims of this type of people are those who have positive qualities that the stalker envies: energy, creativity, joy, extroversion ... His goal is to tear down these virtues and transform him into a submissive and sad individual.
In addition, victims are usually friendly, generous, do their best, like to please others, and express their successes. It is not strange that they look for excuses and justify their aggressor, admitting criticism too easily.
However, anyone can be a victim in moments of weakness or when they have strong emotional ties with the pervert. Thus, these people may be "blind" and not see reality, feeling increasingly depressed and useless..
Once the narcissistic perverse has been identified, the main objective is that his attacks do not take effect. Above all, he will feel disarmed if he is unable to provoke conflict between his victim and other people..
As mentioned, a narcissistic perverse is not dangerous if ignored by others as he has no power without victims. Some tricks to face these people are:
Do not fall for their flattery or their traps to get your attention, be aware that your attention gives them power. Nor ever believe that you deserve their criticism, assume that it is just a strategy to create hook and destroy you.
Stay away from them as much as possible, however complicated it may seem at first, it is the most beneficial. Try not to relapse into any of their attempts to contact you again, because if they do not see you firm you will feed their narcissistic desires.
One form of protection is to avoid announcing your successes in front of the perverse narcissist, as he will try to devalue them.
In fact, it is best to avoid arguing with them at all costs, since they will bring out all their strategies and lies to always be right and hurt you..
It is important to note that they have no effect on you. For the perverse narcissist it is a satisfaction to see you doubt, since this would reinforce their strategies and they would continue to behave the same.
Reconnect with those people who have really shown that they appreciate you. Try to surround yourself with positive people who are happy about your achievements and who you can trust..
They may pick up on an aggressor-victim relationship that you haven't seen clearly yet, or help you clarify your feelings.
In extreme cases, turn to the legal sphere. If you feel that you are suffering serious damage, do not wait to seek protection in justice.
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