When a person has gone through several romantic failures; There comes a time, in which you can ask yourself what you are doing wrong so that your relationships always end in such a bad way, perhaps you can even wonder why you are not able to find that other half with whom to be able to share your illusions, your dreams and also your sorrows and failures.
Next we will explain what this is all about.
All those unanswered questions that we ask ourselves over and over again to our inner self, should be able to lead us to the main trigger of any relationship; that is, trust. But not only trust in the other person we love at that moment, no; also trust with ourselves. It may be the case, on more than one occasion, in which the reason for such bad love experiences is due to yourself..
For this reason, it is highly recommended, the fact that in order to find a certain meaning in life and get a much clearer vision of everything that happens at that moment, such as: intense emotional pain, feelings of despondency, feelings of inferiority . We need to delve into the depths of our interior, in order to understand some psychological mechanisms that we all have, but to which we do not know how to react at certain moments of our life.
What could these feelings be? . You will ask, well:
Some of them can be:
When we lose confidence, keep in mind that we lose everything; because this is the most important basis of any relationship that occurs on the emotional plane. But this time, the level of trust is generalized in such a way that the person who has failed in a previous relationship feels unable to trust again.. You are afraid because you think that the situation may repeat itself and somehow you refuse to suffer more.
But we must bear in mind that becoming prisoners of our own fears does not lead us anywhere that is worthwhile. In life suffering is an important part, but not because of the fear we have of it, we can give up living, and what is more important to feel.
The fact that you failed in a relationship in which you had bet everything for everything, does not mean that you can not find that person so desired and longed for later.
By pisanthobia, it is understood that irrational fear that a person suffers in order to establish a relationship of trust with people, due to bad experiences previously lived and that have left an important mark on their emotional plane.
When a person develops this type of phobia, they can often feel that everyone who comes close to him or her at some point is going to betray them as happened some time ago. This exaggerated fear of suffering will make them become totally hermetic and distrustful beings..
This syndrome can not only affect the sentimental plane of the person, but also others as important as family, friends, co-workers. Making the anguish they experience grow as the other person becomes more important to the individual.
1. The subject tries to avoid at all times activities that somehow require him to engage in interpersonal contact activities; This is mainly due to the fact that he experiences an exaggerated fear to cope with the criticism that others may throw at him..
2. You are very afraid and reluctant to hang out with strangers., unless you are sure that you will be liked by the other members of the group you intend to enter.
3. He does not take any kind of risk that could jeopardize your emotional plane.
4. Doesn't try to find a partner again, because he feels extreme fear that he will be betrayed or failed again.
5. Totally refuses to open up in front of others, showing at all times with a high degree of introversion and reserve.
These behaviors can be normal for a certain time, after a break, especially if it has been promoted for reasons of betrayal or serious failures of the person in whom all trust had previously been placed..
Likewise, it is totally important for the person to be aware that they have to take time for assimilation and recovery, with a certain duration in time. Afterwards, he has to come back to life and take risks again because that is what human existence is all about..
Interpersonal trust is the expectation that every individual has that he can trust and rely on the word, promise or affirmation of any individual or group that he previously knows..
The people that have high interpersonal trust, They tend to be happier as well as, in the same way, experience fewer conflicts.
Trust is important in the life of any human being, because it is what makes you feel the stress that can cause the fear of being betrayed. We cannot live thinking that something bad is going to happen to us and that we will not be able to do anything to avoid it..
As people we have to give ourselves to life with all the benefits and risks that it implies. That effort will be worth it at some point and that will come from happiness..
In psychology this topic is more frequent than it may seem. It constitutes a challenge and a very significant adventure for the person himself, the fact of finding his own answers to all those questions that at some point in life have been able to produce anguish.
As in most situations, this requires therapy in which the professional helps the person to find themselves to trust the people around them again and to overcome that exaggerated fear in the form of a phobia that has invaded their life..
Another part of the very important therapy in this subject is personal growth, where guidelines will be given to overcome difficulties that arise in life without them destroying us both physically and emotionally..
1st. Acceptance of pain: It is essential to accept what has happened and allow yourself to grieve to reconstitute yourself. The fact of reducing the pain can cause that you can never trust anyone again, so… Take your time and unburden yourself.
2nd. Rest from love for a while: after a bad love experience, you should give yourself some time so that your wounds can heal properly.
3rd. Take time to resurface: When you think the time is right to start a relationship again, be wise, go slowly, enjoy the moment.
Remember that jumping from one relationship to another and using people to forget, that is, out of spite, will never be the right solution. Everything in life takes time and emotional recovery is no exception. But keep in mind, that when you have achieved it you will be much stronger and you will have learned and lived a new experience.
As human beings, we need to get confused, stumble and fall, and then get up and succeed..
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