Why do we criticize so much? Tips to keep criticism out of your life

Regardless of whether our relationships with others are good or bad, it is normal that we receive criticism.

It is part of our life that, for example, our family criticizes us because we have arrived home late, or because they think that we are always getting into trouble, that they correct us at work ... We live in a society in which criticism is very assumed.

There are many reasons why people adopt the habit of criticizing others, most are derived from problems or weaknesses of their own. And that is why the phrase takes on so much force:

"What John says about Peter says more about John than about Peter" "

Why do we criticize?

To please others

This may work for us for a moment, however we will become less trustworthy, and people will think that probably in their absence we will criticize them as well..

Because we are not comfortable with ourselves

In order to make our defects seem less great or to find a way out of our mistakes, we also resort to criticism..

To make it clear that others also make mistakes.

We criticize the things we detest in ourselves.

Does it bother you that someone is late, indiscreet ... ?

How do you judge yourself when you make those same mistakes? It is possible that others are making you a mirror and you see in them what you like least about yourself. Take advantage of the situation and try to change what you don't like.

Out of jealousy or envy

For his appearance: "You can tell that he has nothing else to do. If she had to work like me and take care of her children… "

For your money: "The only thing that matters to him is money, but it is not everything"

Those comments are to justify us for not having the success of that person. But we have to be aware that we cannot be the same or have the same goals and objectives as others..

exist 3 basic elements that can make the difference between a constructive criticism and a destructive one: the intention, the words we use and the way to say it.

But the truth is that the most important thing is not what they tell us but what we think about it, and the value we give it.

How do you react to criticism?

Before criticism you can react in different ways, but the fundamental thing is that you handle these situations properly to avoid having exaggerated reactions, which all they do is hinder your relationships with others and with yourself..

That is why it is very important to develop the security and trust in yourself. This will help you to correctly interpret reality, to recognize your mistakes, assess your successes, improve where you should, etc. and any critical comment, instead of negatively affecting yourself, you can use it to get the positive part out of it and thus improve and surpass yourself.

You have to:

• Acknowledge what they are telling you
• Clarify what is the intention of the interlocutor, if necessary ask.
• Don't fight back or get defensive
• Ask for suggestions
• Analyze criticism carefully and try to interpret it appropriately

How can you stop criticizing?

The habit of criticizing others can be very difficult to break if you are too used to speaking ill of others, if your relationships with your friends are based on this practice, or if your self-esteem depends on it..

To stop criticizing:

• Analyze which are the true ones reasons for which you criticize (inner needs): appreciation, acceptance, love, recognition.
• Recognize that no one better than you can satisfy that need. To the extent that you are able to accept yourself, your need to criticize others will be much less..
• Whenever you feel the urge to criticize, think about whether the person would be offended.
• Not judge with stereotypes, "looks are deceiving"
• Think in how you feel when they judge you.
• If you are about to say something cruel, stop 10 seconds, think something nice and change the comment.

Pass your criticism through 3 bars

1st gate -Truth: Are you sure what you mean is absolutely true?

2nd gate - Goodness: Is it good for someone?

3rd grid- Need: Is it necessary to let him know that which worries you so much?

If it's neither true, nor good, nor necessary, don't say it.

Start today to handle criticism better, learn to receive it, stop the habit of making it and remember:

Judging a person does not define him ... it defines you.