In movies, books, with our friends ... we have heard a thousand times: To overcome a problem, the first thing you have to do is accept it..
But what the hell does this mean? Sometimes these types of phrases only leave a trail of frustration, how useless I am and how bad I do everything.
When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, faced with a discomfort, an obstacle, a goal that we cannot achieve or simply in a moment of uncertainty (of those of I do not know who I am, where I am going, or what I want), all are activated our alarms.
We feel more confused than normal, thousands of ideas go through our heads and it is as if we could not think with so much chaos. We never come to a conclusion, and making a decision and doing something to change the situation is another matter..
With this article my intention is not to tell you what you have to do or 5 ways to be a better person. My intention is to give you a space for reflection, a little parenthesis in which you can stop and say: "carayo". In which you can feel what is blocking you, what is making you feel that way at this moment. And this, neither more nor less, is come out of denial. We are already one step closer to acceptance. Well. And now that?
As I mentioned, when we find ourselves in a moment of downturn, of anguish, of ..., our alarms are activated in the form of beliefs. Yes. Those voices that tell us what we are not capable of doing, what we have to do now and even how we should not feel. And yes, these voices are also part of ourselves. Those voices are me too.
They may have told me before. In fact, they may have served me well so far. But it seems that no longer. But, Why am I thinking about the same topic again?
When I realize these beliefs. When I stop and look at my life in context. When I listen, feel and reflect. Then I can realize that what surrounds me and the people around me affect me. And not only that. What I think about it and how I feel affects me.
Sometimes, who surrounds us, That is, in our boss, in our friend, parents, brothers, the cashier and especially in our partner (how easy it is to blame the other), we project everything that we cannot accept from ourselves. Another hot topic!
When we talk about projecting we talk about to put on the other everything that we expect from life, from the world and from ourselves. For example, if I think I have to be perfect, it is possible that at the slightest wrong move that the partner makes, a storm will be generated that causes all my lightning and thunder to fall on him.
If we take some time before reacting and examine what is moving within us, we are taking a small step towards acceptance..
We see a little beyond what is happening. I realize that my partner did not speak badly to me, if not that I needed to argue, or that my boss does not give me so much work because he is going to promote me, but because I never say enough.
For me living a moment of acceptance is as if a glass filter, through which I see my reality, breaks and it will be exposed. Without expectations, without beliefs, without should be, without I have to be. I only see what IS, what I am right now.
The other is human, me too. He has needs, me too. It has limits, me too. It has vulnerabilities, me too. He has much to learn, more to me.
I accept that I am here, faced with this difficulty and with this feeling that generates sadness, anger or fear, or a little of everything.
And it is now that I accept it when I make up my mind to ask for help, to write it in my reflection notebook (which I never read but it makes me see everything differently) or when I decide to put this topic aside since now I have no resources to manage it. Now is when I take responsibility. Now I can forgive myself, forgive you, and start over.
I'm not at the same point anymore. Now I have realized and am in a better disposition to take charge of who I am, where I am going and what I want.
Accept is be what you are and stop fighting to be what you think you should be.
Accept is love others as they are, not as we believe or expect them to be.
Accept is assume the responsibility, become aware of the situation we are in, and stop blaming life or those around me.
Accept is from that our perceptions are our world, but not the world.
Talmud already said ...
We do not see the world as it is, but as we are ...
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